LNU Part 1: Leave Nothing Unsaid
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Byakuya and Rikichi find Renji wandering the sands of Hueco Mundo after having been missing for two years. It may be a second chance...or it may be that his body is all that is left of him...mpreg implied
1. Chapter 1

**Leave Nothing Unsaid**

**By Spunky0ne**

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**(Dedicated to Alabirdie, who has been a wonderful supporter of my work and put this on her wish list of storylines ;) Thanks for reading and taking the time to respond!)**

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**Chapter 1: Contemplation**

_Byakuya wondered when the room around him had gotten to be so silent. He drew and released a soft sigh, closing his eyes and thinking of how it was nice to have something like that to put a ripple in the deep calm of night. It should, he thought, be just that…a ripple…not a roar to wake the dead, but just enough to bring him up from the depths of concentration, to ensure that, from time to time, he breathed. He needed that. Most often, he had it, though this night was an exception. He had excused the one who usually tugged him out of his dreamlike working state…to tell him that working hours had been over for some time and that he should go home and get some rest. He had often wondered that if Renji hadn't been there, if perhaps he would have gone on working endlessly…_

_But usually, the evening ended with a hot cup of tea and a short review of the day's progress. It had taken some time for them to fall into this easy, comfortable rhythm. Renji was not so much a creature of habit and ritual as he, and so needed to have the structure set carefully in place around him and be settled into it. The edges that didn't quite settle had to be slowly filed away with a slow blink of the eyes and a calm assertion that this was simply how things were to be done. Though Byakuya knew that it went against the fiery redhead's nature, he would always defer to his taichou's judgment. Byakuya found such moments of obvious internal struggle charming._

_At first, he would have said that Renji amused him. He came to Byakuya barely gentled and filled with anger…anger that was, at first, unexplained. And though he never once loosed it on Byakuya, he understood what it was, where it came from and how it would someday come back to haunt them both. And just before Rukia's scheduled execution, it had. Byakuya had been both surprised and unsurprised._

_It wasn't a surprise that Renji placed him in the crosshairs that day. Byakuya stepped into his path, knowing full well that this would be the time that the redhead would not back down. He accepted that as fact and moved forward into the battle, unsurprised at first by how well Renji anticipated him. It was much as it had been the few times they had crossed swords in training maneuvers. But he had to admit to being surprised at the strength of the young man's resolve, the attention to detail that he had given to planning this very exchange. He hadn't known how or where or when it would happen, but Renji had gone to incredible lengths to see to his readiness. And there was no greater evidence of it than when those colorful lips had wrapped themselves around a deadly word that Byakuya had never expected to hear from them._

"_Ban kai…" he whispered, remembering how, in that moment, his focus had been shattered and his eyes had given away his wonder, his curiosity at what it would be like. _

_For just a moment, that surprise and fascination touched his features and gave themselves away to Renji…and Renji knew him well enough not to miss using that moment to his advantage._

_Byakuya sighed again, more deeply. Despite the cold words that had passed between them, he had loved the feel of Renji's power meeting his. The only thing he could compare it to was two lovers colliding unexpectedly, literally, love at first sight. He would never look at Renji the same way afterward, but he was made more cautious by what had happened, and he had never, or so he thought, let his guard down enough to show Renji that he was teetering on the edges of being in love. Luckily for Byakuya, his last ditch effort to prevent Rukia from being killed earned him, not just a sword in the heart, but Renji's gratitude, emotion that translated into the redhead's constant presence at his side as he healed…and a change in the emotions beneath their interactions. There was a new, quiet deference that Renji showed him, a retreat of the anger and a willingness to leave the past behind. The ice between them began to melt away and Byakuya felt the distance between them closing until his newly healed heart ached with a mixture of deep affection, deeper longing, and an intense fear._

_He couldn't allow himself to fall in love with Renji. He recounted the reasons repeatedly to remind himself. It was against the rules of the Gotei 13. Other taichous, of course, had crossed that line and it was more frowned upon than punished, but Byakuya followed the rules…because they were the rules and this rule was there to prevent emotional uprisings that could endanger lives. It made sense to him that their minds must be extremely focused in battle and that relationships like that could be dangerous to the entire squad. In addition to being against the rules of the Gotei 13, as leader of his clan, he was supposed to set the example for the others…not that he believed the people of the Rukongai to be lesser, but the rules of nobility were set long before his ascent. He had, of course, broken that rule to marry Hisana…and he hadn't repented of the decision…but his personal feelings mattered little when set against the clan's honor, so he could not allow himself to break that rule again. Finally, though he hated to admit it to himself, what he felt for Renji frightened him. He had loved Hisana in a very gentle and beautiful way, but what he felt for Renji was more all-encompassing. It didn't just warm him inside, it lit a fire to everything, sometimes making him dizzy with lack of breath, turning his blood to molten lava and making him so hard that he had to take breaks from his fukutaichou's presence. The redhead invaded his dreams when he tried to sleep…and his thoughts when he tried to work. He knew that eventually his resolve would crumble and he would make a complete fool of himself._

_He almost had…_

_He had been feeling particularly lonely this evening, having just noted the anniversary of his loss of Hisana. And even having gone to her grave, having come to the realization that the feelings of aching loss had eased, he still ached inside. He had been alone for so long. He knew he need only say the word and he would have his pick of noble females…or he could slip away to the Rukongai and visit one of the well apportioned escort clubs. Neither path held the slightest interest for him. Because when he felt lonely like this, there was a face that appeared that intensified that loneliness until it became excruciating…and he couldn't lower himself to accept anything less than that visage._

_So this evening, he had felt the loneliness take hold, had felt his emotions rumbling beneath his skin…and the door had opened and Renji had burst into the office looking upset. He had thrown himself down at his desk and begun to work like a maniac, as he was wont to do when something threw him off kilter. Byakuya had bitten at his lip, wanting so much to find out what it was that ailed his fukutaichou. And finally, he hadn't been able to stop himself._

_He had done the unthinkable…gotten up from his chair and left the room to make tea for the two of them, then returned and set Renji's cup in front of him, sat down near him and said his name. He could remember every word that passed between them…_

"_Renji…your reiatsu is burning holes in the walls."_

_Renji kept working, without looking up at him. Byakuya took a breath and ignored the insult._

"_Renji," he said again, "If you need to…"_

"_No."_

_Simple, direct and without eye contact. A clear violation of, not just rules, but of the state of what was between them…something that actually began to approach friendship. Something was very wrong and he knew better than to leave it. He reached over and slipped a hand beneath the redhead's chin, raising his eyes so that theirs met. Renji's eyes were red and swollen and when Byakuya looked down, he noticed that the redhead's hands were bruised._

"_You're hurt," he said, taking Renji's hands and sending healing energy into them. _

_Renji felt the first touch of his power and yanked his hands away. Byakuya caught his breath sharply._

"_I'm fine. And if it hurts too much, I'll just go to the fourth division. Just…please…leave me alone."_

_Every instinct he had told him to simply leave the door open for Renji to approach him and to walk away. And if not for the loneliness he had been feeling, if not for the strong desire to make things right again, he might have listened, but his body did not listen any longer to his thoughts. It had heard the calling of his flesh and knew that he desired Renji, cared about him, loved him. And his hand moved from the redhead's chin to his cheek. Renji's eyes locked on his, flaring. Byakuya stared, feeling something like fear looming up inside. He had seen that look in the redhead's eyes before. It was usually the last thing his enemies saw before they died…_

_Byakuya froze._

_And before he could register the movement, Renji had jumped out of his chair and forced him back against the wall. A lesser man would have fought back immediately, but Byakuya felt his back strike the wall and held himself perfectly still as the redhead's face closed in on his and Renji's mouth descended on his forcefully. His lips parted in shock and a hot, angry tongue thrust itself in between them, burying itself in him and seeking his tongue with uncontrolled, heady passion._

_Holding himself still was no longer an option. Renji's body was pressed up against his and he could feel now that both of their bodies were responding…burning and aching to join. Renji's body moved against his and he moaned into the redhead's open mouth, the sound rising up from somewhere within that he knew Hisana had never come close to reaching. Renji's tongue stroked his and Byakuya felt his knees weaken. He tried to force himself to remember why this was not an option, why he should tear himself away. But Renji's arms wrapped around him tightly and strong hands slid roughly down his back, tightening and pulling him forward, melting his body deeper into the redhead's and threatening to allow him to be swallowed whole._

_He could feel that he was shaking, and his mind still screamed at him to pull free. This was wrong! As much as he ached for it, it was wrong and he was wrong to allow it. His mind threw itself at his body now, howling and grasping for control as Renji's hand found the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu. His fingertips stroked the fine, soft material for a moment, then with his eyes on Byakuya's he tore it away and descended on his taichou's slender, white throat, biting down and sucking hard enough to leave marks. Beneath his growing panic, Byakuya felt the intensity of emotion beneath the act, the long submerged hunger that had been allowed to swell, until it became insatiable. His hands still pushed against Renji's chest, but they trembled and his fingers curled, taking handfuls of the fabric of the redhead's shihakushou. His legs shook harder, until he felt himself starting to fall. But Renji trapped him against the wall, holding him up and attacking face, mouth and throat with hard, hungry kisses. _

_Slowly, Byakuya's hands loosed themselves from Renji's uniform. They hesitated there, against his chest for a long moment, then slowly wrapped themselves around the redhead's body. Byakuya let his weight fall against Renji in surrender, giving himself over to whatever force was driving his fukutaichou to cross these lines. The redhead's eyes found his and bored down into him, renewing the shivers of pleasure that were racing through him. He held Renji's eyes, knowing what was about to happen, but helpless to stop it, both of them frozen into their paths as they were defined. Renji's hand cupped his cheek and he gave Byakuya a kiss that was far more tender, wanting in a way that was gentler, but no less passionate. His hand dropped to the tie at noble's waist and the calloused fingers took hold of the ends and began to pull. Byakuya's eyes widened and Renji's forced themselves in deeper. He felt his resolve slipping and the very fact of his beginning to lose control shook him back into awareness. His controls snapped back into place with shocking suddenness, and his hands found Renji's and set themselves upon them. He felt Renji freeze at the touch and slowly the passion that had been so strong in his eyes faded and he let Byakuya go. He stepped back, watching as Byakuya swayed and caught himself, his mouth still burning, his body aching with want and his heart breaking into pieces at his having ruined things. He couldn't look up, couldn't watch as everything crumbled._

"_Aren't you going to ask me why I did that?" Renji said in a rough whisper._

_Byakuya shook his head, not yet trusting his voice._

"_Are you going to have me reassigned?" he asked._

_Byakuya paused, then shook his head again._

"_But you won't go any farther, will you? That door, the one that leads to your bedroom…it will not open for me…any more than your heart will. This is a dead end street, and everyone can see us walking on it. And what happened tonight, was that some poor drunk fool laughed at me for going along with this. He made the mistake of pointing out the obvious. I can never have you. That thought makes me crazy, but I was halfway to accepting it…until I started getting signals from you. But you can't help yourself. Your mind only releases you and lets your emotions take you so far…and then the doors close…and I am always on the wrong side of them. I did this to make you see that. And now that I have, the time has come for you to choose. I am taking the open assignment in Hueco Mundo. I will be gone for a month. And when I come back, I will ask you one time to be honest about what you feel for me. Be careful how you answer, taichou. Because if we cannot reach agreement, I will leave the squad."_

_He gazed into Byakuya's eyes a moment longer, then turned away. Byakuya waited quietly as he started toward the door, not intending to say a word. The words that came out of him next surprised him._

"_So…you are saying that if I won't consent to go to bed with you, then you will leave the squad?" he asked softly, "and if I won't let you partake of my body, you will run from me?"_

_A flash step later, he was back up against the wall again and Renji's eyes were burning holes in his. He couldn't breathe, object or move._

"_That," he said, pointing to the bedroom door, "isn't where the problem is."_

_He pressed a hand to Byakuya's chest, over his heart._

"_This is where the problem is…and the resolution. I don't care if you agree to fuck me, but I do care if you look at me with that much emotion, then open that pretty, lying mouth of yours to deny it. If I thought you were doing it because you felt superior…or because you were above accepting me as your lover, I would let you tell yourself all of the lies you wanted to. But I can't look at the sight of you, staring at me like a lover looks at the one he adores, and then to demean that emotion by refusing to acknowledge it. That's why I am doing this. It's as much to help you as it is to protect myself."_

_He was gone before Byakuya could answer._

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Byakuya sat up in a cold sweat, his eyes filled with tears and his mind filled with memories. Even time, it seemed, wasn't helping him. He buried his face in his hands and let the silent sobs shake him. Every night it was the same. Every night, the memory returned to him in his dreams. Every night, Renji left him to think about what he would do. Every night, he came face to face with what his answer would have been.

But he had never been able to give Renji that answer, because his fukutaichou had never returned. So night after night, Renji left him alone with that question, and night after night, his heart screamed the answer that he couldn't give Renji that night.

He heard the door open as third seat, Rikichi burst into the room, carrying a cup of tea. He set it on the nightstand, then sat down next to the bed, waiting until Byakuya had the chance to get himself back under control and his hand reached out to take the tea.

"I know it's difficult, sir," the youth said respectfully, "but I will be honest with you. I don't think these dreams you have about him are a mere symptom of your missing him."

He had never said a word to the boy about what he had dreamed. He hadn't had to. Rikichi knew.

"I think it's more than that. You and Renji were really growing close…right up until he left that night for Hueco Mundo. I know he must have been upset, because otherwise, he would have left in the morning. And I know you were upset, because your reiatsu was painful to be around for days after."

Byakuya sighed and brought the tea to his lips. Rikichi had learned the making of it from Renji…and so it was perfect. It made his skin crawl…

"So if it is more than just missing him, what do you think it is?" he asked.

Rikichi met his eyes squarely.

"You don't think he's gone. You don't accept for a second that he's not coming back. Something inside you that is still connected to him is telling you not to give up, Kuchiki taichou…and I think that you should listen to it. If you are wrong, then you are no worse off for having been thorough…but if you are right…"

Byakuya held the boy's eyes in silence, the emotion rising at what he had said. He knew that it was wishful thinking…that after two years, Renji would not be returning home. But something inside him would not let him crush the youth's slim hopes…some place inside him where, indeed, his own hopes had not died.

"You will go with me to Hueco Mundo in the morning. There is a reconnaissance mission that will take us deep into enemy territory. Be sure you are prepared."

He set the tea down on the nightstand and dropped back onto the pillows, wondering as he did if the dream would come again. To his surprise, he slept peacefully, dreaming only once of Renji standing on a sand dune, somewhere in Hueco Mundo, his dark brown eyes fastened on the moon, both loving and hating it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Searching**

Despite finding enchantment in the deserts of the living world, there was little redeeming about the desert in Hueco Mundo. And despite his love of moon and stars, Byakuya felt nothing but the coldness when he stood on this sand…hard shivers beneath his skin at the signs of softly glowing, bleached bones peeking out of it, mistrust at the sight of black caves that waited hungrily for the unwary, and everything under a placid, clear nighttime sky that boasted sweeping views of the constellations and an icy…always crescent…moon.

"Rikichi," he said softly, "start taking reiatsu level readings at the marker over there and run them all of the way to that cave at the outer marker."

He moved off to the south, keeping a fix on Rikichi's reiatsu and on his emotional state. Any fluctuation in either would set off signals and he would be at the third seat's side in an instant. Hueco Mundo was not a place to lower one's guard…ever.

Byakuya kept his own reiatsu carefully lowered, knowing full well that Aizen Sousuke and his ilk constantly monitored for signs of any taichou's presence…and if they actually ever captured one, would make the one captured regret it very deeply.

_And Renji was taichou level…and horrible at hiding his reiatsu._

He gazed at Las Noches, rising up out of the sand in the distance, looking bare and unfinished. He lowered his reiatsu even more and flash stepped away from Rikichi, edging slowly closer to the silent fortress and reaching out with his senses. He knew exactly where to look. He sensed the prisons and turned in that direction, moving slowly, almost meandering, so that if sensed, he would be thought to be just another denizen of the cold desert…not a taichou overstepping boundaries…one disobeying soutaichou's order not to come within such close range of the fortress alone. Yes, he did know better…but on the other hand…if Rikichi was right and the dreams were coming to him because he still believed Renji to be alive, then he had to eliminate every possibility. And if that meant vexing soutaichou, he still had no choice. He wasn't going to stop now. He had come too far not to do everything possible to find the redhead, if in fact, he still lived. He got as close as he dared and scanned the prisons carefully. There were a number of prisoners…a few who were quite powerful, but Renji's reiatsu was nowhere within, nor did he sense the presence of Zabimaru.

"_Sen, do you sense either of them anywhere within your range?"_

"_No Master. They are not within the fortress."_

"_You are certain? Your senses would still pick up something, even if they were dead, within the cells somewhere within…"_

"_I sense nothing."_

Although a pang of disappointment passed through him, he told himself that he should be relieved. Any stay with Aizen Sousuke would have been the end for Renji. His penchant for rebelliousness might have held Gin's interest for a time, but the silver haired nightmare would have tired of tormenting Renji long before now and would have killed him…painfully, of course.

Byakuya turned and moved cautiously back to where he had left Rikichi. The youth was just returning from the outer marker. He looked up at Byakuya questioningly as they met and his face fell slightly at the slight shake of Byakuya's head. They turned together and flash stepped toward the next quadrant.

Byakuya hissed softly with discontent at the sudden influx of lower level hollows he began to sense. There were too many gathered in one place for there not to be stronger ones among them. He led Rikichi carefully along the border of this quadrant, steering him clear as they took their readings from the outside of the boundary…SOP when dealing with such an obviously baited trap.

"Note the location of this distraction trap…and warn of the presence of Arrancar. Level the warning as a class three alert," Byakuya intoned softly.

"Hai, Kuchiki taichou," Rikichi replied, taking down the notes.

They moved on to the farthest quadrant. As soon as they entered it, Byakuya felt the heavy throb of concealing enchantment. It began at a cave in the distance…and the reiatsu fanned out and meandered across the sand in front of them in a deeply intricate pattern that suggested both higher level thinking and strategy. But it was no match for him. Still…he approached with caution, motioning Rikichi back and flash stepping through the strands of the trap, carefully sidestepping and avoiding each, until he stood near the entrance of the cave.

He studied the entrance fastidiously, noting the passage in of quite a few creatures, but that only one had both entered and exited. It was then that he sensed an almost hidden trail…and an Arrancar perched on a nearby rise and watching him very carefully. It was large and catlike in shape, with hollow bones around its face, razor sharp claws and a very nasty expression. It sensed his power and seemed to know that he was duty-bound not to leave the creature alive where future reconnaissance teams could run afoul of it. Peeling its lips back into a mean snarl, it lifted itself and disappeared over the rise.

Byakuya sighed and let it go, but nodded to Rikichi to note the location and the fact that they had cleared the trap. As Rikichi made the notes, Byakuya masked his reiatsu to resemble that of a large, mid-level hollow, then swept across the landscape, slowly removing the trap lines and leaving the sand clear for crossing.

Byakuya's eyes met Rikichi's for a moment and understanding passed between them. Rikichi placed a hand on his zanpakutou and scanned the landscape as Byakuya angled toward the beast's cave. He moved as before, in a slow, meandering pattern, eventually closing the distance and moving to the cave entrance. He reached out with his reiatsu and sensed no life, but Senbonzakura's voice rose up in his mind.

_"Master…Zabimaru is in here!"_

"_Alive?"_ Byakuya queried.

"_Yes…but it is drained of power…weak."_

"_And Renji?"_

"_Abarai Renji is not in the cave."_

Byakuya glanced back at Rikichi and then slipped inside the cave. He lit a small kido spell for light and carefully worked his way across the carrion littered floor. He forced himself to hold his breath, then searched until he saw the shine of his kido light against the metal of a blade and surged forward, wrapping his hand around the hilt and taking hold of Renji's zanpakutou.

Immediately, he felt Senbonzakura reeling as he was struck with the agonized shriek of the other spirit. He turned to make his way back to the entrance and heard a sharp whistle. Instantly, Senbonzakura was in his right hand and Zabimaru still unsheathed in his left. He would have preferred not to brace the returning beast in the cave, but sensed it already entering and knew he wouldn't get clear. He released his breath and drew in the smell of rotting flesh, choking, but maintaining control as the beast appeared before him. Its lips curled back again exposing a double row of razor sharp teeth. Byakuya felt a sudden chill at the sight of blood on the creature's snarling mouth. He forced away his concern for Rikichi and focused on the beast as it paused for a moment, sizing him up. He slashed at it, mid-lunge and barely missed being caught by the raking claws as the creature rebounded off the walls and launched into a blinding burst of assaults, launching himself off the cave wall, slashing, rebounding and flying in varied directions, growling and hissing and slashing at him again.

Byakuya loosed his shikai, sending the petals in a slow sweep around him, then centering on the beast and curling them around it, seeking to close the circle, then collapsing it. Unexpectedly, the Arrancar dashed through the petals just as the circle was closing, and Byakuya was forced to abandon the attack in favor of a small kido blast, designed to distract the beast so that he could take the fight outside. He made it as far as the entrance, then felt the slashing claws extending to reach for him. He turned and blocked with Zabimaru, then slashed with Senbonzakura, slicing the Arrancar in half and sending the dying beast crashing to the ground.

"Kuchiki…t-taichou?" called Rikichi from somewhere nearby.

He backed away from the still wiggling remains of the Arrancar and reached the fallen third seat. He dropped to his knees next to Rikichi, his senses still extended, and examined the youth's injuries.

"It isn't a large wound," said Byakuya, "but it is deep."

"My apologies, Kuchiki taichou," Rikichi said, biting his lips and forcing himself to breathe through the pain, "I thought I had him, but he was so fast!"

Byakuya shook his head dismissively.

"That Arrancar had, not only great strength, but also above average intelligence…and exceptional speed. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"I'm supposed to watch your back," Rikichi objected.

Byakuya placed a hand on his forehead, slowly inducing sleep. As the youth drifted off, he leaned over him, his hands emitting healing green reiatsu.

"You did watch my back," he chided Rikichi, "There isn't a single scratch on me. Now rest a bit."

He spent the next hour carefully cleaning and healing the deep gash, scanning for errant reiatsu and then doing a general check of Rikichi's systems. Sensing nothing life threatening, he touched the youth's forehead again to make sure that he would remain asleep, then carried him to an outcropping of rocks near the cave. He set Rikichi down in a protected area and sat alongside him, looking out over the sand, using the light of the moon to keep watch. They had only been in the desert for the equivalent of three days and already, the lack on sunlight had begun to affect him. There was a general darkening of his mood, and a hazed, sleepy feeling that refused to leave his body. It was a dangerous state to be in, considering that fatigue and illness could set in quickly and without warning. He tried to push that concern out of his mind. It wouldn't help to think about it. He was stuck where he was, for as long as it took Rikichi to regain enough mobility and energy to walk back to the shinigami base. He could, if things worsened, carry the youth back, but would only resort to it if his life was threatened by not doing so.

To pass the time, he removed Zabimaru from the protective binding he had placed on the weapon, drew Senbonzakura and focused intently.

_"Sen, can you get anything coherent out of Zabimaru? Anything about what happened to Renji? Is he alive? When was he last with Renji? How did they become separated?"_

There was a long pause and he sensed a tentative connection between the two blades.

_"Apparently, Zabimaru has lost all sense of time. Abarai Renji was in this quadrant…and was attacked and drained somehow. He was conscious and mobile afterward, but over time, he lost the ability to speak with Zabimaru. It seemed to be that something afflicted his mind and took over to the point where he wasn't himself. At that point, he abandoned Zabimaru. Another creature picked up the blade and carried it until it was killed by the creature who attacked us in the cave back there. The spirit is too weak to sense Renji right now, but I can restore enough reiatsu to fix that. I will, however, need a bit of time."_

"_We have that. Rikichi will need to sleep through the night."_

"_What about you, Master?"_

"_I will be fine."_

He sensed the spirit's disapproval and promptly ignored it, opting instead to tighten his cloak around him and let his eyes scan the constellations for a time. He let his mind return to Senbonzakura every once in a while, knowing that hours would pass before there was any real progress. As the time crawled by, he made several attempts to reach out with his reiatsu, to scan the area carefully, but there was no sign of Renji that he could sense. He checked Rikichi's condition and found him to be feverish. Although he had cleaned the wound carefully, the wound had become infected. He was quite capable of healing the infection, but didn't dare use the advanced healing power out in the open. Instead, he formed a reiatsu cage to hide the use of his greater power, then cleaned and healed the wound again. By the time he was finished, his own energy was flagging, but as they were safe within the cage, he was able to fall asleep, so as to restore himself. He woke several hours later and checked on Rikichi again, concluding that the worst was over, before tumbling into another, longer bout of sleep. When he woke the next time, Rikichi's fever had receded and the youth was able to sit up and drink water and hot tea. They remained within the reiatsu cage for another day, before Byakuya felt Rikichi was ready to go on, then they gathered their packs and weapons and conducted a trace search of the area for any sign of Renji's passing. Any such signs had probably long since disappeared, but having found Zabimaru, Byakuya had become renewed in his determination to not leave the cold desert without his fukutaichou.

And then, once Renji was fully healed, they would talk…

If Renji was alive and not too damaged…

He shivered softly and pulled his cloak tighter around him, studying the sand and rocks around him carefully. He sensed that Rikichi had finished his exploration and was turning in his direction. He had just reached the crest of a small hill when something appeared in the dark…as though out of nowhere. Byakuya's heart stopped in his chest.

The size and general shape looked right, but the eyes he connected with in the darkness were red and feral. He circled closer, trying to get close enough to see the finer features. Reaching out with his senses, he realized, after a moment of confusion, that the creature he was looking at had very little spiritual pressure and seemed, in fact, to be starving. He moved cautiously closer and lifted his hands, preparing a binding spell. The creature lifted its head, sniffing the air and beginning to sense Byakuya's stronger reiatsu. Byakuya lifted his weapon in warning and the creature backed away. He felt Rikichi's reiatsu swell excitedly and started to turn away, but realized he had lost his sense of where the creature was. He edged warily back, sensing in all directions, but unable to recapture the creature's trail.

Was it Renji?

He hadn't seen it well enough to tell for certain…and if it was the redhead, he was in a terrible state. He wondered if what he had seen was even curable…

Rikichi's reiatsu pulsed again, more urgently. He had definitely found something useful. Still not sensing the creature, Byakuya turned back and had only taken a few steps, when he suddenly found himself face to face with a gaunt, filthy and disheveled Abarai Renji. His hair was long, nearly gray with dirt and soot and matted. His clothes were shredded and there were numerous long scratches on his exposed flesh. His eyes glowed a dangerous red and bored into Byakuya's.

"R-renji?" he said softly, staring into the hypnotic red eyes.

A thin hand reached out and touched his face. Byakuya stood perfectly still, allowing the other's fingers to rest on his skin.

"Renji," he said again, "Do you…know me?"

He had let the thing that seemed to be Renji get too close. His mind recognized that fact, but his body refused to move. He was held in place by the cold, red gaze and the hand that touched his face slid down, following his jawline and sending chills of warning through him. He couldn't sense Rikichi anymore. Something was happening between this creature and him…something sent soft tremors through him. He sensed Renji now, beneath the odd hum of power that circled around them. And knowing now that this was, indeed him, Byakuya resolved that he wasn't going to leave this place without him.

"Renji…I've missed you," he whispered as the hand fell lower, coming to rest over his heart.

There was one more look of familiarity, then Renji's eyes glowed golden and power flared wildly and out of control around them. A heavy shock exploded through Byakuya and, his eyes still fixed on Renji's, he felt himself begin to fall.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Trust**

Byakuya's mind floated on the edges of awareness, but he felt a deep sense of frustration at the fact that he was unable to make his eyes open…to move his body. He was aware enough to feel that he was lying facedown in the sand, his wrists bound securely with kido akin to his own and fastened to a huge, curved rib bone that protruded from the wall in front of him. He felt restraints on his ankles as well, but couldn't move to see what they were tied to. He couldn't feel the weight of the kenseiken, but instead felt rough fingers sliding through the lengths of his hair. He felt warm breath on the back of his neck, and a body pressing against his side, leaning over him. From what he could tell, he was still dressed.

He could feel that his spirit energy was sealed away, but that it was done imperfectly. He hadn't power enough to attack, but he was able to extend his senses to read the reiatsu of the kido used to bind him. He caught his breath in surprise as he realized two things in quick succession. First, the kido binding him was constructed on his own reiatsu, meaning that this thing that controlled Renji had stolen and used his own power against him. Secondly, the creature touching him had only traces of its own reiatsu. What power there was had also come from him. He concluded then that the attack on him had been initiated to capture and drain him…to sustain the creature that possessed Renji…or so he thought. He still could not see to confirm that this was Renji…

The one touching him seemed to realize that he had regained consciousness. It continued to stroke his hair and to run its hands over his body searchingly. And although he wanted to believe that Renji still existed within this creature, he couldn't sense the redhead's reiatsu. If it was there, then the creature might be concealing it. He decided that he had to believe that Renji was in this creature, still surviving, just not strong enough to respond to him…yet. That meant that he needed to do whatever he could to help Renji to remember.

He felt sensation returning to his body and blinked several times, his eyes very slowly regaining their focus. He was, he found then, in an unfamiliar cave. He could not sense Rikichi anymore. The weight of that sent a chill through him.

Moving his head slightly, he gathered that his captor had removed everything but his shihakushou…and that his feet were now bare. The cave gradually resolved around him as his eyes adjusted and he was thankful to see no sign of other creatures that this one might have killed or might be living with.

"Renji?" he said, testing his voice.

The hand in his hair paused for a moment, then resumed its gentle exploration. He relaxed his body as much as he could and made no attempt to object as Renji's hands touched him through the rough fabric of his shihakushou. The touches were curious, and did not seem to carry a sexual intent, but more to gain knowledge of him…possibly to better anticipate his moves. He knew then that he was faced with a parasitic entity of higher intelligence…not necessarily a good thing, but at least it might be reasoned with.

"Can you speak?" he asked quietly.

The creature didn't answer, but moved away for a moment, returning several minutes later and moving to his head. A small cup of water was brought to his lips and he accepted it calmly. The liquid was slightly stale, but not terribly unpleasant. And the fact that he was cooperating was not lost on the other. He moved around so that their eyes met and Byakuya's heart skipped painfully at the sight of him.

He studied the glowing red eyes, the torn shihakushou and the scratches that marred his skin, his mind whirling as he tried to think of something to do. Renji moved in close again and dropped down beside him, resting his head on Byakuya's shoulder, his face buried in the noble's dark hair. Byakuya loosed a soft sigh as Renji's hands began to touch him again, the fingers lingering in his hair, then sliding in deeper and finding the soft skin of his throat.

"Renji," he said, trying again, "can you speak at all?"

The creature paused and Byakuya felt it shift slightly, as though considering.

"Renji," it said to him.

Byakuya nodded.

"I noticed that you have injuries," he said softly, "If you will let me up, I think I have enough power to heal them."

Renji didn't respond right away and Byakuya wondered how much he actually understood. The redhead's hand slid from the noble's shoulder down his arm, and as it reached his fingertips, Byakuya invoked his healing power and quickly healed a scratch on Renji's hand. Renji jumped away and landed in a guarded crouch, his eyes flaring and a growl rising out of his throat. He stared down at his hand for several long minutes, then tasted the spot he had healed with the tip of his tongue.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," he assured the flighty creature, "I only wanted to heal you."

He could hear the harsh, angry breaths of the creature as it glared at him, then slowly approached him again. It placed a hand in the middle of his back, then released the kido binding his legs and one of his hands. Byakuya slowly stretched his cramped muscles and sat up, noting how intently he was being watched by the other. Renji moved to kneel in front of him.

"May I?" Byakuya asked, very slowly raising his free hand to touch another scratch on Renji's skin.

Renji held perfectly still as Byakuya carefully healed his injuries on one side, then turned to allow him access to the other. As he worked, he let his eyes meet the glowing red ones, and he tried to probe beneath the surface to sense if Renji was there at all. Unfortunately, although he had enough power for minor healing, his senses were significantly reduced. He sighed softly in resignation and finished the last of the healing.

"Renji," he said quietly, "you do not need to keep me bound. I will not leave if you release me."

Renji stared back at him questioningly.

"I have missed you. I want to stay with you. Renji, I want you to release me."

Renji moved closer and placed a hand on his cheek. Byakuya accepted the touch and moved his head to brush his face gently against the hand that touched him. A tremor moved through Renji and Byakuya felt a shift in his reiatsu. His heart quickened as Renji's hand left his face, sliding lightly down his throat and onto his chest, stopping over his heart. He flinched, remembering the attack that had brought him down.

"You are unwise," the creature said in Renji's voice, "to lower your defenses with me. I am not the one you think me to be. He is gone."

Byakuya held Renji's gaze.

"I don't believe that," he answered calmly.

"You are foolish."

Renji's hand dropped to his waist and found the end of the tie that held his shihakushou in place. He stopped for a moment, meeting Byakuya's eyes, then pulled it free. Byakuya caught his breath sharply and backed away, as much as he could with one hand still bound. Renji moved forward, trapping him against the wall and quickly baring him to the waist. His back against the cold stone, Byakuya was forced to hold still as Renji's hands slid over his chest, shoulders and back, then the searching fingers returned to his hair.

"Your reiatsu makes me hunger for you," Renji said in a low voice, "and your body arouses mine."

He captured Byakuya's hand and brought it down to rest on his growing member. The noble held perfectly still, staring into the red eyes.

"Touch me."

"No," Byakuya said, pulling his hand away.

The red eyes flared and Renji shot forward, forcing him down onto the cave floor and trapping his body. He tore away the struggling noble's hakama, then held him down and rested his body on top of Byakuya's.

"Do you understand your mistake, now?" Renji asked him coldly, "You say you believe he is still here…"

"He is."

"No, I devoured him. He is gone. I have taken his body so that I might feed."

He forced Byakuya's head back and brought his mouth to the soft skin of his throat. Byakuya flinched as his mouth latched on and sharp teeth broke the skin. He closed his eyes as the creature drew his blood and reiatsu for several minutes, then pulled away.

"You see," it said, licking its lips, "he is gone…and you belong to me. You will do as I tell you to."

Byakuya twisted suddenly beneath him and threw him off. He threw his weight and all of the power he still controlled against the kido that still restrained his hand and managed to break free. Renji lunged forward and Byakuya spun away, turning toward the cave entrance. He heard the hiss of a flash step and turned, throwing his hands up in defense and setting himself against the other as Renji's body came down on his, taking him off his feet and sending them both tumbling out of the cave entrance.

Byakuya rolled to his feet and tried to flash step, only to find that he hadn't the power for it. He knew he wouldn't be able to run, so he faced Renji as the redhead lunged forward. He rolled to the side as Renji dove at him, then blocked hard with his hands as the redhead turned and caught him stepping back. He fell, but managed to throw Renji off to the side and roll to his feet again. He reached out with his senses as best he could, to try to locate Rikichi, but still found no sign of the boy. He instantly regretted losing focus as Renji nearly took him off his feet again and caught the right side of his face with jagged fingernails. Byakuya felt a harsh stinging on his skin and smelled blood. He ignored it and backed away again as Renji moved forward, cornering him in a cluster of rocks.

"Renji," he said, still calm despite being naked, bleeding and cornered, "I know you've been weakened by this creature."

Renji moved closer, his eyes still feral and angry. Byakuya watched warily as he lifted the hand that had slashed his face and slowly licked the blood from his fingertips.

"I know I hurt you. I never wanted to do that…and I have regretted it since even before you left."

He thought he might see a shimmer in the dark red eyes. Renji stood perfectly still.

"I didn't get the chance to give you my answer…and I want to do that now, but I want to see you…so I know that you're hearing me."

Renji stepped forward, closing in on him. The eyes were still red, but had darkened noticeably.

"Renji…"

The redhead stopped in front of him and stared down into the noble's wary eyes. He reached out tentatively and touched a finger to Byakuya's injured cheek. Byakuya flinched, but otherwise remained still. Their eyes locked and healing power flared around Renji's hand. The touch felt more familiar this time and his eyes were a darker red, beginning to approach the color brown. Byakuya reached up and rested a hand over the one that was healing the scratches on his face. He sighed softly and closed his eyes, now sensing Renji's reiatsu. The creature was still there, but seemed to have withdrawn. Byakuya was smarter than to think Renji had gained dominance. The creature was teasing him with Renji's presence, trying to draw him off guard. Byakuya planned to use every moment of the time to strengthen Renji's connection to him.

"Have you nothing to say to me?" he asked softly, "Are you too angry with me to even speak to me? I understand if you are, but I need you to talk to me…so I can help you. Renji…I want to take you home. We'll go home…and wash away all of this sand. We'll walk where there is light and warmth. And I promise you, I will not hurt you with my indecision anymore. Whatever I have to do to show what I feel for you…I will. I don't care what it costs anymore. I know what it is to live without you…and it is unbearable. Will you come with me, Renji?"

"Are you in love with me?"

He felt the creature asking the question and froze, staring.

"I love Renji."

He sensed a struggle beginning within the creature and began to edge away as the other's face twisted in confusion and he shivered. He had nearly slipped free of the rocks when Renji's head snapped around and anger flared in his eyes as the creature's rage forced Renji down again. He flash stepped after Byakuya as the noble retreated, circling them both back to the rocks and trapping him again.

"I know Renji is there, now," Byakuya said, his body tensed.

The creature gave a low growl.

"It doesn't matter. I control him. I can force him down and he has no power over me."

"You're wrong. I feel his reiatsu getting stronger. He loves me…and he wants to be with me."

"No," snarled the creature, "You hurt him…I saw his thoughts as I closed in on him. It was because he was distracted by those thoughts, by that hurt, that I was able to capture and drain him."

Byakuya swallowed hard, his body shaking as his darkest suspicion was confirmed. The creature sensed his distress and moved in.

"Yes…you made him crazy with desire…desire you wouldn't return. You teased him with the promise of your body, but then refused to yield it."

"No," Byakuya whispered, "it wasn't like that. I wasn't purposely cruel to him…"

Renji stepped forward, looming over him. Byakuya tried to step back, only to find his back pressed hard against the rocks. Renji's hands took hold of him and tightened.

"But you teased him," breathed the creature, nuzzling his throat and nipping at his earlobe.

Renji's hands gripped him almost painfully now. Byakuya stared into the eyes that had begun to grow red again and felt his body begin to shake softly. The creature laughed.

"Are you afraid?" it asked him.

Byakuya stared into the wicked red eyes, not finding any sign of him there. He swallowed his panic and forced his voice to remain calm.

"I won't fear Renji. He won't allow you to hurt me."

The creature's eyes bored down into his and the tightly gripping hands began to force him to the ground. Byakuya gasped and fought them, but was quickly overpowered. Renji's hand slid down his body and between his thighs. Byakuya caught his breath and tried to force the panic away. If he lost focus now, he knew the creature would win.

"Renji," he said, his voice shaking, "Renji, don't let him do this…please…"

The hard, red eyes seemed to sink down inside him, leaving him breathless and frozen. His fingertips explored relentlessly now and Byakuya felt sweat break out on his skin.

"Renji…"

"Renji is gone."

"Renji, I know you can hear me. Stop him."

"He can't hear you."

"I know that I hurt you. And maybe this is what I deserve for not saying what I felt…for making it look as though I would never return your love. So…if this is what you want me to suffer, I accept it. But if you can forgive me…please…don't let this happen…"

He forced his shaking body to relax against Renji and stopped fighting the creature's touches. He closed his eyes and thought he felt Renji's reiatsu pulse sharply. But the creature still had control. It parted his thighs and moved into position over him. Byakuya took a last shuddering breath.

"Renji…don't…"

Renji's body froze and Byakuya felt the forces inside him collide. Renji screamed and power exploded around them. Byakuya fought the darkness that was closing in, straining to learn which was in control…but coldness had settled in his blood and the creature's evil presence seemed to be everywhere, in the very air and sliding down beneath his very skin. Pain erupted everywhere at once, dragging a scream from somewhere deep inside. His only source of comfort as he plunged into the darkness, was the feel of Renji's reiatsu returning in full force.

"Renji."

"I'm here."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Waiting for Dawn**

Byakuya felt cold air on his skin and icy shivers passing through his body. His mind spun, grasping at bits of memory, something to calm the turning of his mind and bring back what had happened before. He forced his heavily lidded eyes open, blinking as his surroundings rose out of the haze and slowly sharpened into something resembling reality again. _But_, he thought_, this place lacks the color and life of reality…because here, one lies in darkness at all hours and there is nothing given to mark the time._

But he only had to move slightly to know he had been lying where he was for hours. The cold seemed to have settled into his very bones, leaving him trembling uncontrollably. When he managed to move slightly, his body screamed in protest. But as memory slammed against his tired mind, he sat up quickly, clenching his teeth against the hard shock of pain.

"Renji?" he hissed through chattering teeth.

The redhead, it turned out, still lay beside him. A swift assessment showed him to be in a reduced state of consciousness, but very much alive and breathing. He placed his hands on Renji's face, and used what little power he could summon to examine him carefully, searching for any sign of the hollow that had possessed him before. He found no sign of the creature inside Renji's body and vaguely remembered the explosion of power, the scream of rage the beast had released as it separated from Renji. He wondered if it had survived, where it might be, but hadn't time to dwell on it as he began to sense hollow activity in the area. He studied the pattern of their movement and realized that what he was sensing was a hollow search party…and he surmised that what had triggered their coming was the explosion of power that had occurred when Renji broke free of the parasitic hollow's hold. They had sensed the explosion in the nearby fortress and had sent a patrol to search for the cause. The only reason they hadn't yet been found was because their reiatsu had been nearly obliterated by the power surge. That, and the cover of the rocks had spared them being found, but he knew better than to expect that it would protect them now that the hollows were searching more intently.

He forced himself to his feet and lifted Renji over his shoulder, then carried him back to the cave. He hurriedly dressed himself and set Renji's tattered clothes back in place, then left the cave, once again, carrying the unconscious redhead. He sensed the search party closing in and knew better than to try to conceal them anywhere in the area. There was, he knew, no choice but to do his best to figure his position in relation to the shinigami base he and Rikichi had passed through when they entered Hueco Mundo and to make a run for it.

A chill passed through him as he considered how long he had been separated from the third seat. He wondered what Rikichi had done once realizing that something had befallen him. He would, of course, have sensed the disturbance when the creature inside Renji had rendered him unconscious…and he would have sensed the direction and come that way…but how far would he have gotten? He would also have sensed the second blast, when Renji broke free…but what would he do? Would he realize that it would be sensed at Las Noches and that a patrol would be sent? And if so, wouldn't it have pushed him to conduct his search more quickly? Or would he simply have concealed himself and drawn his reiatsu in to hide his spiritual pressure? Not having the full use of his powers and knowing pursuit was close behind him, Byakuya could not afford to waste precious time wondering. He trusted Rikichi to take self protective measures and would certainly return for him, once Renji had been safely returned to the shinigami base. He felt a slight movement in the redhead's body and breathed a few words of encouragement before slipping out into the darkness and using the sky to turn him in the direction of the base. Had he had the use of his flash step, it would have taken only an hour or two to traverse the distance, but being bereft of his powers and also barefoot (his shoes having been first stolen by the creature possessing Renji, then lost as they fought), things would proceed more slowly. And if the force that followed them realized how close they were, they would stop at nothing to capture the two shinigamis. Having just rescued Renji from the clutches of the hollow, he wasn't about to allow either of them to be taken by Aizen Sousuke. So he carefully covered what signs of their passing he could, then fled in the direction of the base.

As he returned across the cold, dark desert, he remembered the sections of it that he and Rikichi had crossed together, and angled them clear of the worst of the hollows. They still faced considerable danger, because of his lack of power and the fact that they were being pursued by hollows, but he forced his concerns away and tried instead to think only about the next step, the next dune, the next moment. All else could wait until they reached safety.

But as he felt the sweep of the enemy's reiatsu touch him and focus, he knew that safety was going to be elusive…if it was possible for them to reach it at all. He had never dreamed of being in such a situation. He stood in torn clothing, carrying his unconscious fukutaichou, bereft of power…ice cold…and with pursuit now following with both speed and accuracy.

Every instinct he had said he didn't have a chance. He might have a chance if he tried to conceal Renji somewhere and ran for the base himself, but after two years of aching with the loss of him, there was, he decided, no way in hell he was going to let the injured redhead out of his sight, even if it meant them both being captured. So he forced down the dictates of duty, all of his training, even pride and dignity and ran like desperate quarry. Knowing how close they were, there wasn't time to cover his tracks, only to keep as much distance between them as possible and to keep moving. He couldn't feel whether or not he was in pain anymore. Desperation and icy bolts of fear blocked out everything.

Their luck held and he was able to stay ahead of them for several hours, but just as the larger dunes gave way and the shinigami base rose up in the distance, he heard the howls and snarls behind him that told him that his time had run out.

He slid to a stop as the hollows began to appear all around him, forming a ring and then slowly collapsing it inward. He sensed the presence of several powerful Arrancar and his heart sank. He stood at the center of the circle, panting heavily and feeling his legs shaking beneath him.

_So close…close enough to have given me hope…_

One of the Arrancar stepped forward and Byakuya felt a chill slice through him. The hollow's eyes widened in recognition and he gave a rasping laugh.

"Kuchiki Byakuya," it hissed, moving in closer, "I told you that I would find you one day. You escaped capture when we last met on these sands, but this time, it seems, you have no way out. Do not move. Allow yourself to be bound and you will not be harmed by this patrol."

He laughed again.

"I will not, however, make any promises about what will happen when you stand before our master! He will be very pleased at your capture…pleased and surprised, I think."

He turned to the hollows that accompanied him.

"Take him and bind him…and be cautious. He is a taichou. You may eat the other. His reiatsu is diminished. He would not survive interrogation long enough to be useful."

Byakuya felt a sudden dead calm sweep through his body. He knew, with certainty, that he could not allow the two of them to be taken. He set Renji down and drew Senbonzakura, then drove the weapon down into the sand, preparing to invoke the one bit of power that he could summon.

_I won't let them have either one of us. We wouldn't live anyway. And if it has to end, then let it be with us together…please forgive me for not being stronger. I would have made things right between us, had we only reached safety._

The Arrancar froze, watching as white light rose around the two surrounded shinigamis. It's red eyes narrowed, then relaxed in understanding.

"Go ahead then," it said, holding up a hand to stop the others from moving in, "Destroy yourself if you truly think it's a better fate. Maybe you're right to do so. That one you hold is obviously important to you…but is he so important to you that you would rather you both die than surrender?"

Byakuya dropped onto his knees and held Renji against him. He closed his eyes against what was about to happen.

_"Sen…"_

"_Master?"_

He could barely hear the voice of his zanpakutou. He took a shuddering breath.

_"You have to. You cannot allow us to fall into enemy hands. Renji will be killed before we even reach the base, and if I live you and I will only end up wishing we hadn't. I am sorry."_

There was a long pause, then a shiver of acceptance.

_"Do not be sorry, Master. Ours is an honorable end."_

Byakuya set his face against Renji's, pausing for a moment to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

_I am glad we were able to find each other…and I believe that when two souls meet and bind as we did, there is a reason…I wasn't able to give you the love you deserved, but you have my heart for all eternity…Renji…_

His hand tightened around his zanpakutou and Byakuya felt the approach of their destruction. He was a breath away from invoking that final bit of destructive power when sudden sounds of surprise and distress broke over the hollows and the Arrancar turned. His lips curled into a discontented snarl and he glared at Byakuya. Byakuya's eyes opened and he sealed Senbonzakura, smiling in weary relief as shouts rose up all around and the eleventh division burst into view.

"Oh, thank kami!" he breathed as the hollows turned away from him to face the threat.

He lifted Renji and ran the last few steps, then dropped onto the sand, a safe distance behind the fighters.

"Kuchiki taichou!" called Rikichi's voice frantically.

A fresh wave of relief passed over Byakuya at seeing that Rikichi was alive and unharmed. He raced to Byakuya's side and helped him carry Renji to the healing tent. They set the redhead down and stood waiting as Hanatarou leaned over him, studying him carefully.

"He was attacked by a parasitic hollow," Byakuya explained, "It apparently took over control of him for an extended time, but he was able to break free of it."

The healer nodded.

"I do not sense it within him, but we need to take him back to the healing center right away. His reiatsu is severely depleted and beginning to diminish."

Byakuya nodded.

"I will need you to release the seal on my powers, so that I can flash step. I will take him back personally."

The healer set his hands on the noble's wrists and focused for a moment. Byakuya felt the swell of reiatsu as his power returned to him.

"Are you sure you're up to this, Kuchiki taichou?" Hanatarou asked, "I can have him…"

"I will take him."

"But you're reiatsu is…"

Byakuya swept Renji into his arms and with Rikichi following, disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya never remembered his flash step feeling so slow. He and Rikichi raced through the senkaimon, their power blazing so hot it burned their skin and still it didn't seem fast enough. Byakuya kept hearing Hanatarou's words repeat in his mind and it gave him new strength. They exited the senkaimon, still flash stepping and didn't stop until the healing center rose up before them and they carried Renji inside. They were quickly waved on into an examination room. Unohana taichou entered a moment later and moved quickly to Renji's side.

"I received a hell butterfly from Hanatarou," she explained, "I will see to Abarai fukutaichou and I want the two of you to go to the next two rooms to be examined. It is only precautionary, but I daresay, the both of you look a bit ragged."

Byakuya nodded, only half hearing. He let himself be led out of the room and turned into the next examination room. Exhaustion was descending on him, now that the danger had passed. He had spent too long in crisis and his body had no choice but to start paying the price.

"Lie down," said Isane, "and I will check you for injuries.

He turned toward the bed and barely managed to reach it before collapsing onto it.

The healer leaned over him, her power casting a gentle green light around them.

"You have pushed yourself too hard, Kuchiki taichou," she said, softly.

"I did what was necessary," he replied, weariness making their voices sound odd in his ears.

He meant to only close his eyes for a moment, but the darkness was too inviting and the feeling of safety too tempting. He sighed and let his body relax. He heard the healer make a sound of approval, then felt everything fade into a sudden, deep calm.

XXXXXXXXXX

When Byakuya woke again, it was late at night. The hallways had grown quiet and the voices he heard were kept soft. He was still in the examination room, but his clothes had been replaced with a white yukata and he had been covered warmly in blankets. He pushed them aside and climbed out of bed, tightening the tie at his waist. He moved silently to the door, then out into the empty hallway.

He wasn't sure if Renji was still in the room next to his, but opened the door and looked in, sighing with relief at seeing him resting comfortably in the bed. He sat down in the chair at the redhead's side and slipped a hand into his, glad now to see that the healers had washed away all signs of the desert and had washed and combed his hair so that he now looked much more like himself. He brushed a few errant strands away from the redhead's face and leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the forehead.

"I should have expected you would be here as soon as you woke, Kuchiki taichou," said a soft voice from the doorway.

Unohana taichou stepped into the room and moved to Renji's side, examining him briefly, then turning to the dark haired shinigami who waited quietly at his side.

"Is Renji going to be all right?" he asked, forcing his voice to remain far more calm than he felt.

"I believe that he will," the healer said, straightening, "but you must realize that he was very depleted and his reiatsu was already beginning to diminish. We were able to halt the process, but he remains in guarded condition. He has not regained consciousness and we don't know when he will. It is all a matter of how well his body is able to manage the restoration of his reiatsu. For now, it is not possible to predict what will happen."

"You're saying you don't know when he'll wake?" Byakuya asked, an edge of fear reaching his voice.

"We don't know when he'll wake…and we don't know what condition his mind will be in when he wakes. Two years is a long time to be controlled as he was. But as I said, I believe that he will recover. While we wait for that, you must rest, Kuchiki taichou. You depleted your own reiatsu during your quest to bring Abarai fukutaichou home…and you need to rest to restore that."

"I will rest," Byakuya said, turning to look at Renji, "but I will not leave him."

Unohana smiled patiently.

"It is as I expected," she said, laughing softly, "I will have the two of you moved to a more comfortable room that you can share…and I will remove you from duty for the next week so that you have time to fully recover."

Byakuya nodded in agreement, then watched as she left the room. He sat quietly next to Renji, gazing down into the uncharacteristically quiet features.

_You will wake soon. And when you do, I swear that I will do right by you, no matter what the cost…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Object of Rage**

Despite the deep seriousness of both his thoughts and the current situation, Byakuya could not sit with the moon's blue light coming in through the window and not admire the way it made Renji's tanned skin glow as though from within…and how it made the pattern of tattoos look like a dance of dark shadows across his skin. He had memorized the play of them over the redhead's body, though he had never yet dared to explore them with his fingertips. He _wanted_ to. Oh, he wanted too with such a feverish desire that it was hard to resist. But Renji hadn't given his consent to be touched. In truth, he hadn't even chosen for his taichou to see them…

_Byakuya slipped through the darkness, his feet moving so swiftly that they made no noise on the sand. He kept his reiatsu carefully concealed and avoided the artificial light that Aizen Sousuke used to illuminate the area, to cast his eyes over everything the light touched…so he made sure that the light did not fall, even for a moment, on him. He sensed Renji's reiatsu in the prisons and so angled in that direction, sensing all around him so as to pass between the meandering guards without catching their attention. It was almost too easy…and that gave Byakuya pause, because it was when a rescue seemed too easy that one had to invoke caution or pay the price. And the price for a taichou being caught by Aizen Sousuke was severe…a stealing away of power…torture…eventual death. He was not about to allow himself to be subjected to such things, but he was more than willing to risk himself to see that Renji was spared._

_And that was where he and the rules of the Gotei 13 differed…_

_Byakuya sighed softly. He was becoming so used to being forced to break rules that he wondered if there was any use in trying to follow any of them anymore. He had always, seen value in rules and order, the keeping of the peace…and he really hadn't changed in that respect, but he was coming to accept that there were exceptions to every rule…and that part of loving and enforcing rules and laws was to make oneself an expert in knowing how and when to invoke the rules and how and when they simply did not apply. And in this situation, the rules had no place. He might love order, but he loved Abarai Renji more._

_Byakuya slid to a stop in the sand next to the prison wall. His body pressed against the cold granite, he stared into the darkness around him and let that thought pass over him and rocket through him again._

"_I love Abarai Renji," he whispered._

_And there was another rule shattered, a whole army of rules and mores thrown aside because this young man, this face that had risen up from out of the depths of the worst part of the Rukongai…had found his way into Kuchiki Byakuya's heart. And in so doing, he had driven his taichou to forget everything in this moment, but bringing him back safely. There were no two ways about it. Abarai Renji was coming back alive. And it would be his rule breaking, 'not about to accept this fate' taichou who would make it happen. Because Renji brought out the fighter in Byakuya, whether it was directed at an enemy or at Renji himself, the redhead touched every nerve within him, brought him into a riled state that tended to make him somewhat reckless…more like he had been before…when he was still young and stubborn enough to fight for the little bits and pieces of freedom the leaders of his clan would allow their future clan leader. Renji pushed past the careful angling and conditioning that he had undergone, past all of the proud posturing and little nuances of behavior he had had to stomach learning and practicing. Renji made him feel in a way that was bold, honest and sinful. And it made Kuchiki Byakuya love him with unrivaled ferocity._

_Yet the sentiment never reached his lips or found its way into the air. He never uttered a word of it to Renji, because he feared so deeply how he could be hurt, whether the redhead returned his affections or not. He had gotten into enough trouble in disobeying the rules and demanding that Hisana be allowed into the family. And that had been while they still could change their mind about naming him clan leader. Now that he had accepted the leadership and renewed his vows of obedience, breaking the rules to begin a love relationship with Renji meant breaking the rules and also breaking his renewed promise to devote himself to the clan's moral standards and avoid damaging their honor any more than he had when he brought Hisana in among them. He had meant those things wholeheartedly when he agreed to him…but he had agreed to them before encountering the force of nature that was Abarai Renji. It hadn't even crossed his mind that one like Abarai Renji could exist…_

_And so, once again, his blind promises had gotten him into a huge dilemma. He couldn't break his promises and those rules again…but he also found that he could not resist the brash, lovely, frustrating, loud, foul-mouthed, disrespecting, deeply loyal to his friends and deadly to his enemies, Abarai Renji. His eyes followed Renji's movements everywhere…in the office, on the battlefield…and even on some occasions when he caught sight of the redhead meandering somewhere on his days off and happened to pass by. And his mind kept being interrupted by the most savory, but indecent thoughts, at the most inappropriate times…in the shower, as he tried to sleep, as he pored over dreary reports…and on occasion, in the middle of a taichou's meeting or council gathering. Sometimes those thoughts sent him into such chaos that he had to excuse himself and retreat to a hot, steamy shower, where he would lean back against the cold, tiled wall with the seething water pounding down on him…dreaming of Renji standing in the shower with him, raking his body with lusty brown eyes, running those rough hands over every inch of his pristine white skin, tasting it hungrily with those sensuous lips and stroking him into a frenzy with that skillful tongue. He barely had to touch himself at all to feel his body seized with pleasure…at just the idea of Renji doing these things to him. And he couldn't even bear to imagine Renji taking him. He'd never been with a man…never even come close to desiring it…but he desired such things to happen with Renji…_

_But those things would never be any kind of possibility if harm came to the redhead, so when the distress call came in from the team in Hueco Mundo, saying that Renji had been captured while protecting his group as they retreated from the battlefield, he answered the call personally and left the rest of the squad behind…and of course, that too was against the rules. No taichou was allowed to risk capture for the mere rescue of a subordinate. Taichous were of the highest class of power, possessing great amounts of it…and possessing something most subordinates would never develop…ban kai. It was a sort of dividing line that the Gotei 13 used to decide the value of a man…much like the nobles used class lines to distinguish themselves, here too, some were favored over others. But Renji, he noted with relief, had mastered ban kai…so if pinned down, he could argue that he undertook the mission himself…risked himself, not recklessly, but because the captured fukutaichou was taichou level in power…and could be used by the enemy. Not a word of it would be true, but he could argue it if he had to. _

_But he had to rescue Renji first…_

_He flattened himself against the wall as he realized how close his momentary daydreaming had brought him to being captured. The stream of light that had come his way had passed within inches of him…so close…He breathed slowly in and out to calm the rush of adrenaline the thought carried, then continued into the entry to the prisons. It was to his advantage that the prisons were on the outer edge of the fortress…and that there was a small sandstorm passing over the area. He didn't look out of place, shrouded in the cloak he had stolen from a sleeping Arrancar. It hid his features as he passed the guards with a short nod, and proceeded into the very heart of danger, following the small flares of Renji's reiatsu._

_He was, it turned out, being tortured…not at the moment, but had been between the time of his arrival at the fortress and now. He was, as Byakuya stepped into the cell, being allowed to rest, albeit uncomfortably, his naked body stretched out on his stomach and his wrists bound above his head, his feet bound at the ankle. Despite the seriousness of the moment, Byakuya couldn't help but stop and stare. The beauty of the long red hair laid against that golden brown skin and the lovely black markings that ran down the back of his neck and down the long, muscular back, even touching the edges and carefully framing the most stunning posterior ever to shock his eyes. He blinked several times, his mouth going dry…and the urge to touch those wonderful markings almost unbearable. The only thing that preserved him from taking such a foolish action was his instant fury that these foul creatures had dared to lay hands on his fukutaichou. He wanted to shred all of them into tiny pieces, but it was, he decided, far more important to get Renji out of there._

"_Are you going to stand there all day admiring my ass, or are you going to untie me, Taichou?" Renji asked suddenly, sending a deep scarlet flush across Byakuya's skin. _

_He stood for a moment, blushing and frozen with embarrassment at having been so dreadfully obvious, but the words that followed, made his blush deepen and his breath catch._

"_Look, I'll let you look at them all you want later, but can you just untie me and let's get out of here? I haven't been raped yet, but I think we both will if you stand there staring at me any longer!"_

_Biting down hard on his lips, and still blushing, he flash stepped forward and released Renji, then wordlessly released the seal on his power and handed him a second cloak he had purloined. Renji smiled, making Byakuya sink deeper into the hood of his cloak…and he couldn't say a word as Renji wrapped the cloak around that beautiful body and tied it at the waist with one of the bloodied lengths of rope that had bound him. He turned to Byakuya and nodded to show that he was ready to follow._

"_Did you like what you saw, Taichou?" he asked._

_Byakuya could sense the smirk, even though the hood prevented him from seeing it._

"_Shut up, Renji," he hissed softly and flash stepped out of the cell with the softly laughing redhead on his heels._

_They had gone only a few steps away from the fortress when Byakuya felt hardened arms wrap around him and a sword was brought to his throat._

"_A taichou," said the Arrancar, "well, which one are you? Squad Six? Oh my, you are a catch, aren't you?" _

"_Let him go," Renji said, a deadly shine coming into his eyes that turned the gentle brown eyes a truly wicked red, "How dare you put your hands on my taichou!"_

"_He looks delightful…sinfully lovely, ne? I think I may delay reporting this find so that I can taste him, myself."_

"_Don't move rashly," Byakuya warned Renji in a deadly calm voice._

_The sword at his throat touched the skin and drew a few drops of blood._

"_Be careful," the Arrancar warned him, "I will kill you before I've had the chance to fuck you."_

_He looked up at Renji._

"_Your taichou is very beautiful. You've had him? Is his flesh as sweet as it looks…or perhaps I should taste it myself."_

_Byakuya cringed as the hood was drawn back and the Arrancar's tongue ran up the length of his throat, tasting the flesh and the small drops of blood he had drawn. A growl of contentment sent a shock of ice through the noble's veins. He steadied himself, gazing at Renji and moving very carefully while the Arrancar bit down on his neck and its hands slipped beneath the folds of his clothes. Its hands tightened on him as it realized what he was about to do and he started to draw the sword across the noble's throat, but Byakuya's hand wrapped around the blade and held it away as Renji flash stepped in and slashed at the Arrancar, making blood explode out of him._

"_Run for it, Taichou!" Renji yelled as the Arrancar's screams echoed off the buildings and the alarms began to wail._

_A hand found his and they flash stepped wildly away…listening to the howl of the Arrancar and the sounds of the alarm and the responding hollows._

"_I will find you, Kuchiki Byakuya!" the Arrancar screeched, "I will find you and I will kill you next time."_

_As they put distance between themselves and the fortress, they were able to slow somewhat and gather themselves. They ran at an easier pace then…and he could feel Renji's eyes turn to look at him every so often. He was still wearing the deep blush that he hadn't been able to escape since seeing Renji naked and tied up in the fortress. He ignored those eyes that watched him so affectionately and ran faster._

"_Arigato, Taichou," Renji said as they raced across the dark desert together, "Arigato…for saving me…before they raped me. You see, I've never been with a guy before, so it would have been awful for it to be like that…"_

_Byakuya felt so many things all at once, that he found himself unable to say anything back. And a moment later, his distraction caused him to trip and start to fall. He was amazed at how clumsy he had become, how Renji's words had undone him so readily, how as he fell, his fukutaichou's arms caught him and they teetered for a moment, then fell to the sand, their mouths finding each other and latching on. _

_It was wrong and he knew it, but he found heaven in that red mouth and in those strong, warm hands. He buried Renji's lips in hard, hungry kisses and felt the redhead quiver and kiss him back even harder._

"_Renji…" he whispered between kisses, "We aren't safe yet…"_

"_Fuck safe," Renji said, pushing him down onto his back, "I want you."_

_He looked up into that beautiful, loving expression and he wanted to be taken, right then and there…but reason was poking its way into his mind and it made him pull away. Renji gave him a disappointed look, but slipped a hand under his chin and kissed him, then smiled warmly down at him._

"_Okay, so maybe now isn't the time, but I will look forward to the right time coming, Taichou."_

_Byakuya looked up at Renji's face surrounded by stars and the crescent moon and he felt tears in his eyes thinking about how it just couldn't happen. But even as the words rose up in his throat, he found that he couldn't say them. He couldn't tell Renji that they weren't allowed to fall in love…that it would be against the rules. He couldn't say anything at all, couldn't do anything but gaze into those loving eyes. Renji reached out and pulled him gently to his feet._

"_Come on, Taichou," he said softly, "Let's go home."_

Byakuya sat quietly next to Renji, wondering if he would ever see those beautiful eyes opened and filled with that much affection again. But it had been nearly a week and he hadn't awakened. The noble ran a hand over his face and felt the familiar sick feeling returning to his stomach. It had plagued him for several days now, although he had concealed it from his healers when they asked him how he felt. Still, Unohana taichou seemed aware that something wasn't right and had cleared him for another week of leave. He didn't mind at all, knowing that it would give him more time to sit at Renji's side, more time to try to coax him into wakefulness.

He realized suddenly that Renji had moved very slightly. Pushing away the sick feeling, he leaned forward and kissed the redhead gently on the lips. The brown eyes flew open and his reiatsu flared so suddenly that it burned Byakuya's skin. Renji sat up and glared at him, his eyes narrowed and angry. He looked at Byakuya as though he was his worst enemy.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing, kissing me like that, Kuchiki taichou?"

"What?" Byakuya managed in a stunned whisper, "Renji, I…"

"You're _him_! You're the bastard who stole Rukia from me!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Thinking Back**

Despite his shock at Renji's angry response to his kiss, Byakuya forced his expression to remain calm and he thought quickly.

"I beg your pardon, Abarai fukutaichou, but did I hear you correctly? Did you just indicate that you do not know me?"

"No," he replied gruffly, backing off his anger as wariness took over.

He had, he realized suddenly, just called the strongest of the Gotei 13's taichou's and Kuchiki clan leader a foul name. But apparently, wariness was not enough to shut him up entirely.

"I asked what the hell you were doing, kissing me like that," he repeated, adding a belated, "Sir."

Byakuya frowned and raised his spiritual pressure. It wouldn't have harmed the stronger, ban kai possessing fukutaichou he knew, but it affected this man. He cringed and sweat broke out on his forehead, but his eyes remained defiant and his hands clenched.

"I think you are still groggy from your ordeal, Renji," Byakuya said, rising, "I will leave you so that you can rest. I will return when you have regained your senses."

"When I've regained my…" Renji started, breaking off as the door closed behind the noble.

He blinked several times, recognizing the room around him, but not having a clue about why or how he had been brought there. He lifted the blankets and saw no major injuries on his body, then dropped the blankets and sank back onto his pillow.

"What the fuck is going on?" he mused, closing his eyes and frowning.

He heard the door open and opened his eyes, turning his head as Unohana taichou walked into the room.

"Abarai fukutaichou," she said, smiling, "Kuchiki taichou told me you had awakened, but that you seemed a bit confused.

"Yeah…you could say that," Renji admitted, uncertain at quite why his anger had faded as soon as she entered the room, "I just woke up, not knowing how I got here or how I was injured…oh, and my worst enemy had his mouth plastered on mine and his tongue halfway down my throat!"

"Your worst…enemy?" she repeated, "Was someone here with you and your taichou?"

"What? What the hell did you say? My taichou? _Kuchiki_ taichou is _my_ taichou? And everyone keeps calling me fukutaichou…I'm _his_ fukutaichou?"

"Hmm…," said Unohana, frowning slightly, "you have been through a long ordeal, Abarai fukutaichou. It seems that your injuries have resulted in the loss of some of your memories."

"Look, the last thing I remember was going back to my room at the academy after that son of a…after Kuchiki taichou left with Rukia. I was lying in my bed, wishing I had the strength and talent to go and beat the…express my feelings about him taking her away. I don't remember anything after that."

"I see," said the healer, nodding, "Well, I will fill you in on what happened to you and then Kuchiki taichou can bring you up to date on more of the details."

"No," Renji said quickly, "Look, I'll talk to you. But I don't…feel comfortable with him. I don't want to see him. Could I see Rukia instead?"

Unohana gazed at him sadly for a moment, then nodded.

"Very well, I will send for Rukia and I will explain things to your taichou."

She sat down next to the bed.

"Before I do that, let me explain what happened to you. You were sent on a mission into Hueco Mundo with a team whose assignment was to set up a listening post near the fortress, so that we might gather information on our enemy's plans. Our enemy is a former Taichou…Aizen taichou…"

"_Aizen_ taichou?" exclaimed Renji, alarmed, "but…he…wait, wait a minute…that was after…Rukia left."

"You remember more?"

"Yeah," said Renji, bringing a hand to his forehead, "I was training…with Momo and Kira. We uh…were with a group…and we got attacked by hollows. It was Aizen taichou who rescued us! You mean…he's a traitor?"

"Yes," confirmed Unohana, "A few years ago, Aizen taichou and fellow taichous, Ichimaru Gin and Tousen Kaname, betrayed us and escaped to Hueco Mundo. I will leave it to Kuchiki Rukia to explain the details of what happened, as they relate to the change in your association with Kuchiki taichou."

The healer took a breath, prepared to say more, but at that moment, the door flew open and Rukia flash stepped across the room, bounded onto the bed and landed in Renji's arms in a sobbing heap. A very confused Abarai Renji wrapped his arms around her, highly aware of Byakuya's presence in the doorway. Glancing from one man to the other, Unohana rose and turned to leave.

"Abarai fukutaichou, we shall leave you and Kuchiki Rukia to talk. Kuchiki taichou, I need to speak with you for a moment."

Byakuya met Renji's guarded stare briefly, then lowered his eyes and nodded, following Unohana out the door and closing it behind him.

"What is it you need to see me about?" he asked softly.

"Abarai fukutaichou has suffered some memory loss. His physical condition was very poor, not surprising after spending two years with a parasitic hollow living on his reiatsu. He is recovering, now that the hollow has been expelled, but his recovery will progress slowly. His powers have been affected. He no longer has the ability to use ban kai…and may not recover that ability for some time. It should return with proper oversight of his health and training."

"I will do all I can to assist him," Byakuya assured her.

The healer sighed.

"I don't know that you will be able to offer him assistance," she said quietly, "His memories of you are from a point in time where you were not on good terms…and he has asked that you not approach him."

She didn't miss the anguished expression that flashed across the serene features and disappeared almost as quickly.

"Renji…doesn't want to see me?" he repeated, as though still trying to come to terms with the idea.

"He remembers only that you took Rukia to live with you…and that he was not able to associate with her after, because your family is noble and he is a peasant. But do not worry. I am certain that Rukia will be able to set him straight."

"I see," said Byakuya, turning to look at the door to Renji's room, "Well then, I will leave it to Rukia. If my sister asks where I am, you may tell her that I have returned to the sixth division."

"But you are on leave…" said the healer.

"I have work to do," he said brusquely, "The hollows and Aizen Sousuke will not sit about waiting until I am ready."

He flash stepped away, leaving her looking after him with a sad, sympathetic expression.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji brushed the tears away from Rukia's eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around her, burying his face in her shoulder.

"Renji!" she half sobbed, "I thought you weren't coming back! We all did! Nii-sama searched and searched for you after you disappeared…until Soutaichou took him to the first division and would not allow him to leave until he conceded that you were gone and agreed to stop. He threatened to place Nii-sama under house arrest if he would not agree to end the search. He only agreed in the end, because he feared leaving me alone after you disappeared. He carried on looking for you secretly for a long time even after. My brother would have done anything to find you."

"What?" Renji said, looking confused, "Why would he do that?"

Rukia stared at him in surprise, then smacked him in the head.

"OW! That hurt!" he yelled, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Because you're being stupid! That's why! Nii-sama loves you. He has for a long time."

Renji sighed and a troubled look came over his face.

"That's why he kissed me…"

"Duh!" Rukia chided him, "Renji…you must have hit your head or something. It's like you don't remember anything!"

"I don't remember everything," he admitted, "Everything after you left to join the Kuchiki clan is…really foggy."

Rukia stared at him for a moment, then shook her head.

"Well, it will all come back to you."

She looked around the room and frowned.

"I wonder where my brother went. I thought he'd be right back. I know he's really worried about you…"

"I don't want to see him," Renji said forcefully.

Rukia stiffened and looked at him in surprise.

"Rukia, I know you said he loves me, but I barely even remember him. And what I do remember isn't pleasant. He's a stuck up bastard and I don't want to have anything to do with him."

Rukia's eyes flared.

"How dare you say things like that about Byakuya! After all he's done for…"

She stopped herself.

"Oh…that's it, isn't it?" she whispered, looking at him sadly, "You don't remember…so you figure he should forget it, too."

Renji stared at her silently.

"I'm glad you're back," the girl went on, "and I will be back to visit you. But right now, I think I need to see to my brother. _You_ may not remember the last two years…but Byakuya _does_. And before you go talking about him like that, you should realize that you don't know him…and you not knowing him means that you haven't the right to judge him. Nii-sama isn't the person you thought he was…just like you aren't the friend I remember."

She climbed off of the bed and walked out, leaving him looking after her.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya nodded briefly to Rikichi, who sat at Renji's desk, busily completing the day's reports, then turned toward his own desk and found it nearly empty of work for him to do. He turned back to Rikichi with a look of gratitude.

"You have done an exceptional job of keeping up with things during my absence, Rikichi. Arigato."

"Oh…just doing my job, sir."

He watched as Byakuya sat down and started to work on the few things left that required his approval.

"Uh, Kuchiki taichou, how is Renji?"

Byakuya looked up at him briefly.

"Unohana taichou says that he is drained and will have a long recovery, but that he will recover fully. However…he does not remember some things. His memory was affected by his ordeal. He won't remember you. He only remembers how much he despised me…"

He trailed off, then suddenly stood and flash stepped out of the room. He went into his quarters and closed and locked the door behind him. He ignored the sound of Rikichi's footsteps, the tentative knocking on the door and the soft voice that floated in, asking if he was all right. He slid down the door and sat with his knees drawn up and his back against it, fighting the sudden storm of tears that threatened and the return of intense nausea and pain inside. He tried to breathe through it, but the muscles in his abdomen seized and he dropped his head onto his knees, groaning. A strange, light-headed feeling passed over him and he staggered to his feet and headed for the bed. Halfway there, he collapsed onto the floor and lay there, dazed and unable to move. Everything went dark and quiet around him. He thought he might remember there being a loud, crashing sound and hands touching him, but he had lost all touch with his senses. He thought he heard Rukia's voice…then Rikichi's. And he felt himself being lifted and placed in his bed. He let everything drift away for a time and didn't awaken again until late at night.

"Nii-sama?" Rukia's voice said from a chair beside his bed.

He opened his eyes and blinked several times to clear them.

"Rukia," he said softly, his voice sounding thick and weary.

"You shouldn't have tried to come back here. Unohana taichou told you that you should take a week of leave time."

"She…was here?" he asked.

"Of course she was here. Rikichi heard you fall and we broke down the door to get in. We called for her right away when we saw what a state you were in. She took some blood and reiatsu samples to study and told us to make you stay in bed and rest for a day or two. We can go back to the manor if you would rather be there…"

"No," he said, sighing, "I'll stay here."

They fell silent, both looking out the window at the stars and full moon.

"Nii-sama," Rukia said finally, "you shouldn't worry. Renji will remember you soon…and when he does, he will be back."

Byakuya said nothing, but moved his hand to rest on hers.

"There are no guarantees," he said quietly, "but I also believe he will remember. Just…in the meantime, we can't do things that will upset him. He has decided that I am to be avoided, so I will not trouble him. I will let him decide when he is ready to approach me. This can't be forced. And Rukia, if Renji does not remember…we have to accept it…no matter what our personal feelings might be."

Rukia leaned forward and met his eyes determinedly.

"Well," she said firmly, "if Renji remembers, then fine…but if he doesn't, then you are just going to have to win his heart all over again, Nii-sama!"

Byakuya shook his head gently and was immediately sorry, as it set his head aching and tied his stomach in knots again.

"Lie still," Rukia reprimanded him, squeezing his hand, "You'll only make things worse, moving around too much."

Byakuya settled back against the pillows, looking down at where their hands joined.

"Rukia," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, "if Renji does not regain his memory…it may be better to just let it go."

"Nii-sama, no!"

"Just…understand. I was not handling things well when he left. I am the reason he left…and I am the reason he was lost in that desert. Rukia, if he remembers, then I will do my best to make things right with him…but if Renji does not remember…and he continues to want nothing to do with me, I won't fight him on it. I will let him go…if that's what he wants."

"But you love Renji…"

"But he despises me…and he should. I deserve that."

"That's not true," Rukia insisted, "and Renji isn't going to leave you, Nii-sama. He will remember…and he will come back."

But as much as he wanted her to be right, Byakuya could not honestly say which path would be the right one…


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Unsettling**

"Rikichi," said Byakuya, looking up from the papers on the desk in front of him, "It is after work hours and you have completed all you need to for today. I am about to retire for the night. You should get some sleep as well. We have a field mission tomorrow and I want you rested."

"Hai, Kuchiki taichou," the youth said, placing the last of the reports in Renji's outbox.

He stood and stretched.

"Would you like some tea before I go, Taichou?" Rikichi asked.

Byakuya paused and felt a twinge of regret.

"No…arigato, Rikichi. You may go."

Byakuya set the last of his reports in his outbox and turned toward the hallway.

"Good night, Kuchiki taichou," Rikichi called after him.

"Good night, Rikichi," Byakuya said quietly, turning into his quarters.

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment, his head spinning slightly. He shook his head to clear it, then walked to the bathroom and started the shower. As the water warmed, he walked out into his room and looked through his yukatas. He selected a dark red one that he knew Renji liked. Whenever he had worn it while slipping into the office to pick up files to read in his quarters, the redhead hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of him.

Not that he expected to see Renji…

Although he had already been released from the healing center, he wouldn't return to work for a day or so…and he hadn't set foot in the office, yet. Byakuya sighed and turned back toward the shower. He had made no attempt to see Renji after Unohana taichou's warning that Renji didn't want to see him. While he completely understood why it was happening and he certainly didn't blame Renji, he couldn't help but feel a lonely ache inside. Finding Renji was something that had taken him by surprise. After having gone missing for two years, he had begun to make peace with the idea that Renji was not coming back. He had continued to secretly hope for the redhead to return…and the dreams had continued to plague him, but he had known the chances were slim to none.

So when he had found Renji, all of a sudden, hope had returned in a huge, all-encompassing wave. He was initially distracted by the difficulty of rescuing Renji, but once returned to the Seireitei, he had hoped to immediately set about making up for lost time. But now it seemed that they had come to a crashing halt…and had even gone back in time. But Byakuya could not take back his heart. Once given, it would not return as long as there was hope.

And despite Renji's refusal to see him, Byakuya still hoped desperately that Renji would come around…

He sighed and shook his head, then stepped in under the hot spray, closing his eyes and wishing that he could have done things differently long ago. He hadn't known how to handle his feelings for Renji then. They had arisen out of the ashes of a very confusing storm of events that surrounded Aizen Sousuke's departure from the Seireitei. Ever since Renji appeared at his side in the healing center, he had known that it wasn't just him. Renji had not only forgiven him, but had slowly begun to open his heart and to count Byakuya among those closest to him. No words to that effect had ever taken place, but then, he and Renji had long been used to speaking without the use of words. It went along with the deeper level of cooperation that had emerged from the ashes of Rukia's near execution, and it had happened because Byakuya had realized that Renji was right to criticize him for not being more aware of the needs and development of his squad members. After Aizen's departure and Byakuya's return to duty, the two had quietly restructured the way the sixth division was overseen and Byakuya had seen the results almost immediately as morale skyrocketed, casualty rates plummeted and the sixth division began to grow in stature as being one of the strongest and most cohesive of the Gotei 13.

The rebuilding of the sixth division was the backdrop for their falling in love. There had been so many long, sleepless nights, planning strategy, discussing recruits…mission parameters and troop placements…and while all of the discussions were going on, Byakuya suddenly realized that Renji was far more than a powerful fighter. He was masterful at assessing the abilities of the other squad members, of knowing their strengths and weaknesses. That, coupled with Byakuya's mastery of strategy and battle tactics, made the sixth division deadly on the battlefield. And Renji's awareness of the needs of those he led, his protectiveness of those weaker than him, had begun to affect Byakuya's own emotional attachments. Simply put, he began to feel and connect more. He paid closer mind to the thoughts and emotions of the ones he led. And far from being useless things, the growing emotions between the squad six members and himself, caused his squad's protectiveness of him to increase substantially. Since then, the ranks of his squad had swelled with capable recruits and few left his squad to join others.

And probably the most profound thing that had happened was the way he and Renji had begun to work closely while fighting, combining the power of their respective ban kai and applying them in concert with one another. It wasn't just a spectacle of raw power. It was an artful tactical display that was both beautiful and deadly. They were so much stronger, joined that way!

And it wasn't long before Byakuya felt his heart giving way and wanting even more from his association with Renji. But he hadn't been able to say anything at first. Yet, Renji was a master at reading his quiet and reserved taichou. And once he realized what was hidden in the dark gray eyes, he had, of course, taken action. It left Byakuya wishing desperately that he had just relaxed and allowed himself to fall. He closed his eyes against the memory, feeling the ache inside increase as it refused to leave his overwhelmed mind.

_He stepped out of the bathroom, his hair still damp and his body wrapped in a dark red yukata. He started toward the bed, but stopped as he reached it, noting that the report he had thought he set there before his shower was no longer there. He blinked and tried to figure out how he had misremembered, but he felt certain he was not mistaken. He searched the area briefly, then sighed and admitted to himself that he had been working awfully hard lately. It was possible that the stress was catching up with him. Sighing softly, he turned towards the door and stepped out of his quarters._

_He was surprised to find the office lights still on and Renji at his desk. He had expected that the redhead would be gone by now. A flush crept onto his face as Renji's eyes lifted and took in the sight of him, standing there in the thin, silk yukata, with damp, uncombed hair and bare feet. As was his way, he ignored entirely the instant smile it brought to Renji's lips. He couldn't look as he stepped past Renji and to his own desk._

"_I thought you would have gone home by now," he said blithely, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice._

_He started to search his desk, waiting silently for Renji's answer. It came suddenly, in the form of a swift flash step and the sudden presence of the missing report in Renji's hand. Renji stood close now, overwhelmingly close. Byakuya looked up at him questioningly._

"_Did I leave that on your desk by mistake?" he asked curiously._

"_No," said Renji, his smile widening and sending the flush down onto Byakuya's throat as well. _

"_Then…would you care to explain how it came to be in your possession, Abarai? I am quite certain that it was in my bedroom, on my nightstand."_

"_It was," Renji said, forcing himself back into seriousness._

_Byakuya caught his breath._

"_You…took it? Did you need to see it for some reason?"_

"_Yeah," Renji said, moving so that he had Byakuya cornered between his desk and the wall._

_Byakuya stared and blinked, nearly too flustered to speak._

"_Then…why…?"_

"_How else was I going to coax you out here dressed like that, so I could see you?" Renji laughed, moving closer._

_Byakuya kept his eyes lowered, wondering at how hard his hard was beating and knowing that if he spoke now, he wouldn't be able to hide the emotion. He stood in helpless silence as Renji's hand touched his cheek, stealing his breath and leaving him unable to move away or object._

"_Look at me," the redhead whispered, sliding warm, rough fingers beneath his chin._

_Byakuya turned his head away and brought up his hands, setting them against Renji's chest. He could feel the hard, fast beat of his fukutaichou's heart and he knew he should say something to stop what was happening. But he couldn't think of a thing to say. And just as the words started to rise to his lips, Renji captured his face again. Byakuya closed his eyes, knowing that if they met Renji's, his resistance would crumble. He would melt in those arms._

_He wanted so much for it to happen. But he still remembered what it was like to fall in love and to watch it slowly die. He didn't know what he would do if something like that happened again. It had been horrible watching Hisana die…and he couldn't even imagine losing Renji. Add to that the fact that he had vowed upon Hisana's death and his ascent to clan leadership, never to break the rules again…never to seek love outside of bounds. The council had put its collective foot down after he broke the rules again to bring Rukia into the family. And while they had understood his desire to protect his late wife's younger sister…to respect her dying wish, they would not accept this…not ever. They had sworn to force him to choose…and he couldn't do that…_

"_Please look at me," Renji whispered, his face moving forward to rest against Byakuya's cheek, "I have to know if this is what I thought…or if I might have made a mistake. I don't think I was mistaken, but I won't know for sure until I see what's in your eyes…Taichou…"_

_He realized suddenly that he was shaking. A warm hand slipped into his and laced their fingers together. He turned his head so that their foreheads were close, nearly touching._

"_You're not mistaken," Byakuya whispered, before he could stop himself, "but…"_

_Renji's fingers settled on his lips, stopping him._

"_Look," he said softly, "I just want to look at you. Okay, I might want to kiss you, but that's all I'm going to ask for, right now. I know it's complicated…but we can figure out a way to make this work, I promise. Hey, if we can outmaneuver Aizen Sousuke on the battlefield together, we can handle a group of sour old bigots, Taichou."_

"_Those sour old bigots are my family…and they wield a great amount of power and influence…"_

"_And we are stronger than they are," Renji said, lifting his chin so that their eyes met, "We can find a way."_

_Byakuya froze as Renji's eyes locked on his…as they sank down inside and read everything he couldn't say. The redhead stepped back and Byakuya blushed anew as those brown eyes swept over him and the smile returned to Renji's face._

"_You are beautiful, Taichou. I've never seen anything so damned beautiful. Not in all of my life."_

_Byakuya stood stock-still, his heart racing so fast that he was sure it would explode. And before he could move again, those warm, sweet lips found his and he was pushed back until his back rested gently against the wall. Renji's mouth caressed his relentlessly and he was helpless to resist. He could have used kido or just brute strength to break free, but his own body betrayed him and relaxed against the redhead's body._

_Byakuya didn't think it was possible for him to blush any more furiously than he already had, but the feel of Renji's very aroused member touching him through their clothes, sent the heat flaring all through him. He realized quickly that if he didn't put a stop to things soon, he was going to end up in bed with Renji…and he was going to enjoy it._

_It was almost worth the price he knew would be exacted for it…almost…_

_He opened his mouth to speak and found it suddenly taken by a playful tongue that pushed its way inside and began to explore him more deeply. His fingers clenched Renji's shihakushou and his legs weakened. No one had ever kissed him in such a way. Hisana's kisses had always been light and gentle. Renji's were far deeper and more passionate. And while his interactions with Hisana had always been exceedingly pleasant, they had never left him reeling like this…had never left him feeling like his head was spinning, like his knees were about to give way…like he couldn't breathe…_

_He couldn't breathe…_

"_Taichou?" Renji said, sounding concerned._

_He sucked in a sharp, pained breath and watched the worry in Renji's face give way to a satisfied smirk. Byakuya forced his lips to frown, watching as Renji stepped back._

"_What's wrong? It felt good, right? I could see that you were enjoying it, Taichou. I could feel your…"_

"_That's quite enough!" he said, more sternly than he meant to._

_Renji looked surprised and amused by turns. He observed Byakuya quietly for a moment, then shook his head and sighed._

"_You just can't let yourself be happy, can you?" he said, reaching out and touching a porcelain cheek._

_The touch set his senses flaring again, but he swallowed the emotion and snatched the report from Renji's hand._

"_Go home, Abarai!" he snapped, "You are giddy from lack of sleep!"_

_He flash stepped away almost quickly enough to avoid the soft sound of his fukutaichou's laughter behind him._

Byakuya sighed, realizing suddenly that the water had grown cool…and that his remembrance had evoked a rather annoying reaction in his body. He turned off the water and stepped out into the bathroom. He dried himself slowly, trying not to notice the sadness reflected where the mirror displayed his face back at him. Sighing again, he wrapped the yukata around him and tied it at the waist, then ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head to loosen the long strands.

Leaving the bathroom, he reentered the bedroom and started toward his bed. He was about to slide beneath the covers when a sound out in the office distracted him away from it. He left his room and stepped out into the hallway, surprised to find the lights still on. Squinting, he stepped forward.

"Rikichi, I told you to…"

He stopped, realizing that it wasn't Rikichi sitting at Renji's desk. The redhead sat with a stack of papers in his hand, staring up at the noble with an unreadable expression…one that set Byakuya's face burning and made him take a step back. He realized that he was holding his breath and released it too loudly.

"Abarai fukutaichou…" he said uncertainly, "I wasn't expecting to see you. My apologies. As you were, then."

He turned away and started to leave, but stopped at the sound of the voice that rose up behind him.

"Kuchiki taichou…"

The words were respectful, but the very fact of Renji being so formal with him set his stomach clenching again. He hated the fact that the discomfort was so strong that he couldn't hide it.

"What is it, Renji?" he asked softly.

"I have been cleared for duty. I will be able to go with you on the field mission tomorrow."

Byakuya looked back over his shoulder.

"You will likely be too busy being brought up to date. You have been gone for two years…"

"Rikichi filled me in."

The dark eyes blinked slowly.

"Then…if you wish…you may join Rikichi and me tomorrow," he answered, "but as I have planned to work with Rikichi, he will be the active support. You will have an observatory role only."

He felt the heat of Renji's rising anger.

"As I said, you need to be brought up to date after being gone for two years. And I am accustomed to working with Rikichi. If I am placed at risk, I wish my safety to rest in hands that are used to defending me."

Renji stood and closed the distance between them. Byakuya stood perfectly still, but raised his reiatsu warningly. The redhead stopped sort of him, glaring.

"I am perfectly capable of defending myself, you and Rikichi! You know that!"

"What I know is that you have just been released from the healing center, you have lost much of your memory and you and I are not on good terms. It would be irresponsible to place the safety of…"

"Bullshit!" Renji said furiously, "You're pissed at me for not remembering things changing between us! You want to punish me for hurting you. I get it. But it doesn't give you the right to deny me the privileges of my position as fukutaichou. Rikichi is third seat…and he isn't strong enough to…"

"Rikichi has reached manifestation and is about to reach ban kai. He would have reached it already, but he was devastated when you disappeared…and it has haunted him and held him back ever since."

"And still, you prefer him to me?" Renji asked bitterly.

"For the moment, yes. But it is truly only because I have to protect myself. As you learned, any trip into Hueco Mundo could be your last. When you take those steps, you must be very sure of yourself…and those with whom your safety rests. The trust between us must be rebuilt, Abarai fukutaichou. That cannot be done overnight."

"What you mean is that you think I still want to hurt you…or to let you be hurt. If you want to rebuild our trust, then you have to take some chances. It comes with the territory."

Byakuya considered his words, frowning. He sighed resignedly and closed his eyes.

"Very well, then, Abarai," he said quietly, "You may inform Rikichi in the morning that you will replace him on the mission."

"Arigato, Kuchiki taichou," Renji said, the anger draining from his eyes, "Rikichi will likely be relieved about not going anyway. He seemed to be a little sick to his stomach when I arrived. He's probably got the bug that's going around. Some of the healers have it too."

Byakuya's eyes narrowed.

"I see. Well then, it works out better this way, I imagine."

He turned back into his room and closed the door behind him. His hand dropped to his abdomen and he tried to push away the dull throbbing within. He shook his head, frowning and climbed into bed. Renji's words circled in his mind for some time after, nagging at him and keeping him from dropping off. When he did sleep, he tossed and turned, and horrible nightmares woke him repeatedly. And each was the same…

He was in Hueco Mundo…

He heard a sound behind him and turned…

And Renji's zanpakutou slashed down from out of nowhere, tearing through him and leaving him torn and bleeding at his fukutaichou's feet.

_No…no…Renji would never hurt me like that!_

But given Renji's new incarnation, he found that his doubts refused to leave him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Paranoia**

Byakuya flinched and placed a hand lightly on his abdomen as he touched down in the sand. Renji flash stepped down off of the cliffs behind him and landed next to him, looking around and keeping a hand rested on Zabimaru. Byakuya extended his senses and began a scan of the area. Renji watched the noble out of the corner of an eye, while also extending his senses and keeping watch for enemies.

"You all right, Kuchiki taichou?" he asked, "Seems like your stomach is still bothering you."

"I am fine, Abarai," Byakuya said, turning away, "just keep watch for enemies. We are in a high traffic area."

"Hai, taichou."

He stepped away from Byakuya and began a short sweep of the area. Finding nothing of interest, he angled back toward the noble and fell in beside him.

"Did you see or sense anything of note, Abarai fukutaichou?" Byakuya asked quietly.

"Nothing at all," Renji reported, "not even a hollow mouse."

"Fine," the noble replied, "just leave that last out of your report."

Renji smiled.

"Right, Kuchiki taichou."

"And stop calling me that."

Renji's smile faded.

"It's SOP. I'm supposed to call you that…unless you'd rather I say 'sir' sir."

Byakuya eyed him for a moment.

"You said that you understood now that there is more of a positive nature between us. Granted, you don't remember, but I do…and it registers quite deeply when you call attention to it. I have to wonder…do you do this on purpose?"

Renji turned to face him.

"Look," he said, clenching, then unclenching his hands, "I know this is hard for you. It's no picnic for me, either. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right. All I know is that when I look at you…I feel something…like something should be there, but it's not. And you look at me like everything I do hurts you…and maybe it does. But I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to take steps forward."

Byakuya nodded and turned away.

"There are two higher level Arrancar in the cave over there. They have an array of traps laid out around it. Destroy them and the Arrancar. I will be to the south when you are done."

"Yeah…okay…Taichou."

Byakuya looked back at him for a moment, then flash stepped away. Renji flash stepped toward the cage, shaking his head and drawing Zabimaru.

"Fuck," he muttered discontentedly, "all I seem to do is make things worse. I should have let Rikichi go with him."

He made his way carefully around the cave area, quietly removing the traps. He was nearly at the end of them, when he paused and smacked himself in the head.

"Damn! I'm so fucking stupid! If I don't remember past academy, then how do I know my way around these traps…and if it's body memory, then maybe…"

"Sorry to interrupt you when you're talking to yourself, shinigami, but I thought I should warn you…we don't take kindly to invaders removing our traps…"

Renji's weapon was out and his shikai released in a flash, just in time to stop the incoming cero. A second came in as well and he stopped it easily. He sent Zabimaru slashing in their direction and followed with a burst of red kido fire. He suddenly became aware of Byakuya's presence on a nearby dune. He stood, quietly watching, his hand resting lightly on Senbonzakura. Renji smiled to himself as he sent another attack at the two Arrancar.

_So my body remembers, even though my mind is taking longer to remember. I wonder if he knew it would be like that._

He felt a twinge of memory at the noble's calm, focused expression. It was clear he had done this for such a reason. And apparently, he was right. Renji had to admit that his body did remember. And if it remembered fighting techniques…

_Will it remember him, too?_

He kept stealing glances at Byakuya as he finished off the Arrancars and sheathed his weapon. Then he flash stepped to where Byakuya waited, turned away and studying the horizon.

"You were slow," he commented, "but you seemed to gain confidence at the end."

Renji ignored the softly intoned sarcasm.

"It seems that my body remembers, even though my brain doesn't."

He gazed into the noble's dark eyes.

"You knew it would be that way, didn't you?"

Byakuya turned away.

"I suspected…perhaps hoped."

He flash stepped away, leaving Renji to follow in his wake. They moved on to the next quadrant and as they touched down, Renji felt a soft chill beneath his skin. He couldn't think of why. There didn't seem to be signs of anything horribly powerful.

"Lot's of low ranks in the area," Renji commented, "must be a…"

"…feeding ground," Byakuya finished, "Yes…you will note it in the log and chart any human or shinigami remains for the clean up crew."

"Hai, Taichou."

Byakuya moved forward, squinting slightly at a large dark clump ahead of them. Renji continued to sweep the area as Byakuya moved closer to the clump, sending a touch of reiatsu ahead. Sensing nothing, he moved closer. His stomach twinged again and he made a small sound of discomfort, then placed his hand on his midsection. A wave of dizziness swept over him and his vision blurred. He thought he heard a voice and turned toward Renji. His eyes went wide as he spotted Renji running toward him with Zabimaru drawn. His vision from before returned and he drew his sword, but as Renji reached him, it was not from the front, but from behind him that the attack came. Pain erupted throughout the length of his body as something ran through his back and the sharp tip thrust through in front.

"Taichou!" Renji screamed, his weapon sweeping down.

Blood exploded around Byakuya and he felt himself falling. Renji's arm wrapped around his waist and tore him away from the creature that had impaled him. Byakuya screamed in pain and sank to his knees. Renji hissed something in his ear and dragged him back, then Byakuya heard Renji's shikai release.

"T-too…strong…" Byakuya gasped.

From the ground, he released his ban kai, then watched dazedly as they swept around the beast, only half controlled by his wavering mind, but still deadly. They blasted the horned creature that had attacked him, reducing it to an unmoving lump of barely recognizable and bloodied flesh and bone.

Byakuya stared long enough to see that it was dead, then dropped to the sand, his ban kai fading and his weapon growing cold in his hand. Renji took Senbonzakura from him and slid the weapon back into its sheath. He lifted the noble and flash stepped clear of the area, looking for some kind of shelter. Byakuya struggled for small catches of breath and blood ran down his body, landing in red splotches on the sand as Renji flash stepped on. He spotted a cave that looked to be of appropriate size and sensed no malevolent reiatsu in the area. Quickly, he flash stepped inside and set Byakuya down.

He leaned over Byakuya, stripping away his haori and top, baring him to the waist and turning him to study the wound that cut through him from back to front. The redhead made a sound of dismay and pushed the noble down on his stomach, at the same time, extending healing hands over his back.

"I don't want you to worry," he said in a low voice, "I may have trouble with my memory right now, but I have good healing powers. I won't let you die."

"Renji…" whispered Byakuya, "Renji…I'm…I'm…s-sorry…"

"Shh, don't try to talk, Kuchiki taichou. Just rest, for now. Let yourself heal. It will be all right."

"I didn't trust you," Byakuya whispered, "and I should have. Even…even if you don't remember…me…I know you…R-renji!"

Renji hurriedly summoned a hell butterfly and sent it winging away. He turned back to Byakuya and lifted him, pressing a hand to each side of the open wound and raising his reiatsu to slowly begin to close the wound from the inside out. Deep green light flared around his hands, filling the cave and making his face glow. Byakuya rested with his head turned to the side and gazing up at Renji's powerlit face. Dark gray eyes sought brown and Renji smiled down at him encouragingly.

"See, Taichou," he said calmly, "it's like riding a bike. It's really starting to come back now…I'm starting to…see things."

Byakuya shivered beneath his hands and the dark eyes drifted closed.

"Taichou," Renji said, concerned, "Taichou, open your eyes. Look at me."

Byakuya's body went limp and Renji caught his breath as he saw blood seeping from the unconscious taichou's mouth.

"Kami…you are in really bad shape! Damn! Where's that help I sent for?" Renji hissed.

He leaned over the noble, throwing everything he had into stopping the flow of blood and reiatsu, into closing the wound…into supporting the slow taking and yielding of breath in the body of the injured shinigami. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he groaned softly as the power flared and burned, pouring into Byakuya's body and slowly gaining ground in the struggle to hold the noble away from death. He forgot everything but the flow of power from his hands, the slow mending of Byakuya's body and the soft intake and exhale as they breathed together.

"That's it," he whispered, "That's the stubborn, no nonsense taichou I remember."

"R-renji," Byakuya moaned deliriously, "Renji…"

"I'm right here, Taichou," he whispered in the noble's ear.

Byakuya's feverish eyes opened and found his. He could see the senselessness, the inability to fully comprehend, but the pale hands reached for him and pulled him down, bringing their mouths together. Renji felt a shock go through him and them a feeling of deep familiarity broke over him as their kissing intensified. He knew he should stop, but the noble's mouth tasted beautifully sweet and he continued to moan Renji's name softly between hot, breathless kisses.

"You have to let me heal you," Renji said, smiling down at him, "I'm not all that convinced you aren't going to try to leave me, Taichou."

He ran his hands along the front and back of the wound, intensifying his healing power again. Byakuya's hands rose and gently rested on his face as the healing continued.

"Renji…" Byakuya whispered, an edge of desperation in his voice, "Renji…I have to…tell you. I was…wrong before."

"Wrong about what?" Renji asked, frowning and squinting to check his progress on the deep wound again.

"I…I was…just as much…wanting you…as you wanted me. I was…horrible about showing it."

"Shh, Taichou, it's not good for you to be stressing yourself out like this."

"You…pleaded with me to tell you. And I wanted to…"

Renji gazed down at the feverish dark eyes and found himself entranced.

"Aishiteru yo…I wanted to tell you…but I could not. I could not, because of what they would do. I didn't care so much for myself, but for Rukia's welfare."

"Taichou, you're not making any sense."

"I would give it all up for you…to be with you…to stay with you…to give…myself…to you…"

He trailed off and his eyes closed again.

"Taichou," Renji sighed, touching the noble's face as he slept restlessly.

The memories were returning…with agonizing slowness, but they were returning. Renji let the healing light fade and dropped down next to the injured noble. He knew better than to leave them unguarded during their sleep period, but also knew that if he did not rest, he would be of no use to Byakuya when he woke again. Unable to remember how to power a reiatsu cage, he instead, raised a kido barrier around the two of them and wrapped his body protectively around Byakuya's. Unsurprisingly, after the large outlay of energy he had experienced in trying to heal Byakuya, he was asleep almost instantly.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji awoke, still somewhat weary and aching from sleeping on the ground, but he felt an unexpected warmth that flowed between Byakuya and him and he relaxed, holding the noble in his arms and watching him sleep. He had improved over how he had been the night before, but he had lost large amounts of blood and reiatsu and needed substantially more rest before attempting to leave the cave. And even once they left the cave, they needed to get home quickly and get Byakuya to the healing center.

Renji wondered at the length of time they had waited for a response to his distress call. He had sent the hell butterfly right away, and yet, there had been no response from the Seireitei. He wondered briefly what could be taking all of that time, but pushed the thought away as Byakuya's eyes opened and Renji noted that they seemed much more lucid.

"A-abarai?" Byakuya said questioningly.

"That's me," Renji said, leaning over and kissing him lightly on the lips.

Byakuya gave him a surprised look and reached up to touch his lips where Renji had kissed them. He tried to sit up, but Renji pushed him down gently.

"You were just run through by a hollow yesterday," he said quietly, "Lie still."

"Yesterday," Byakuya repeated, wiping the sweat from his forehead, "Renji…did you send a hell butterfly?"

"Of course I did, Taichou. There has been no response."

Byakuya shook his head.

"That's not possible. They would at least send a return butterfly. They would answer us somehow if they…"

He let go of a breath and winced sharply.

"You okay?" Renji asked quickly.

"I am better," Byakuya said, blinking and trying to focus, but I am afraid that the stomach pain is worse. I cannot tell if it might be the dregs of the illness I had…battle or none of those."

"Well, we'll work that all out when we get home, Taichou."

He gazed into the dark eyes meaningfully.

"We'll work out whatever we need to."

Byakuya caught his breath lightly and hesitated, staring into Renji's eyes. Then he nodded briefly and relaxed.

He was about to speak when a tiny black butterfly flitted into the cave and hovered in front of Renji.

_This is a priority one message to Abarai Renji regarding the sending of a rescue team into Hueco Mundo. At the present time, all senkaimon and garganta crossings have been halted. A code red alert has been called and the Seireitei sealed against the spread of a parasitic hollow. There have been thousands infected and hundreds have already died. The Seireitei is under a protective quarantine. All stationed troops will remain in place and requests for assistance will be handled as quickly as is possible under the circumstances. Your request for assistance will be expedited as soon as possible. You are ordered to remain in place until further notice._

"Damn!" hissed Renji.

He thought for a moment.

"Wait a minute! Parasitic hollow?"

His eyes met Byakuya's frantically.

"Taichou…could that be what everyone was getting when we left?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Love's Sacrifice**

Renji set a hot cup of green tea on a flat rock beside Byakuya and laid a hand on his arm to wake him.

"Taichou," he said softly, "you've been sleeping a long time. You should try sitting up and drinking some tea. We're going to have to leave this area soon. If we stay anywhere too long, we will be sensed. We have to keep moving."

Byakuya nodded and, with Renji's help, sat up and took a few sips of the tea. He was grateful for the fact that it took the taste of blood from his mouth and seemed to soothe his nerves. He sat quietly as Renji removed the bandages around his midsection and nodded in approval.

"This is healing well," he commented, "I'm surprised. It was a really nasty wound."

"Well…" said Byakuya quietly, "I had a good healer tending me."

Renji snorted.

"Huh…I'm not that good. I was just determined not to let you die. After all, wouldn't want to lose you before I remembered everything."

Byakuya risked a glance at him, then quickly looked back into his tea.

"Are you remembering more, now?" he asked softly.

Renji nodded.

"Yeah…I do remember more, but it helps to have something to connect it to. Like, when I fight, I connect more with Zabimaru, and that seems to improve my ability to remember. In fact, I wondered if maybe…"

He trailed off, blushing slightly. Byakuya remained silent. A moment later, Renji recovered himself.

"It made me kind of wonder if…well, since my body remembers better than my brain…that maybe, if we…do more physical things, I might remember more."

"Physical things?" Byakuya repeated, "Like?"

"Well…obviously we kissed before…"

He stopped again, noting the flush on Byakuya's cheeks that wasn't just the slight, nagging fever.

"Uh…and I was wondering…well…"

Byakuya met his eyes questioningly.

"Well, did we…_do_…anything more?"

The flush on the noble's cheeks deepened.

"No," he answered, looking away.

"But when you were injured, you told me that you love me…" Renji went on.

"I thought I was dying," Byakuya said, prompting a soft laugh from Renji.

Byakuya gave him a disapproving look.

"It seems that the prospect of my dying is humorous to you," he said, frowning.

"No, Taichou, not at all. It's just amusing that the only thing that could make you admit that you love me is for you to be dying. I mean, I've heard of playing hard to get, but really…"

"I wasn't playing games," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes, "and I know it hurt you that I wouldn't say the words…and that I wouldn't move forward. I had what I thought were compelling reasons…"

"And what about now? I mean, you seem to be saying that things are different."

"It's complicated," Byakuya sighed, "On the one hand, I know now that I was wrong to deny the truth…to push it away, but at the same time, you are not ready to move forward. You are still catching up. That makes 'what is right' a difficult concept to define."

"But you love me?"

Byakuya nodded silently.

"And you want to move forward?"

The noble paused, his eyes locked on Renji's, then nodded.

"But only if you reach that point as well," he explained, "I do not wish to put pressure on you. I will wait to see what happens as you recover from your ordeal."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, "that's probably best."

He stared down into his teacup.

"Although…" he went on, "maybe it would help me to remember things better if I kissed you again…"

Byakuya closed his eyes and released a slow breath.

"I don't know…" he said quietly, "It could help you to remember…and if it does, then certainly, it is a good thing. But…if it does not bring back anything…I…wonder that it might not make things inadvertently worse."

"How could it get worse than me not remembering you, Taichou? I mean, when I woke, all I felt toward you was anger."

Byakuya looked up at him.

"And now, what do you feel?"

"Like…like I should know this feeling that passes through me when you touch me. Like when you talk to me, I can't help but stare at you, because I think you're beautiful. I don't remember everything that happened before, but I know what's happening now…"

He moved closer, reaching out and resting a hand on the noble's face. Byakuya sat, perfectly still and breathless.

"I feel like I want to kiss you…if that's okay with you."

Byakuya held his eyes for a long moment, then nodded silently and continued to hold perfectly still as Renji's face moved closer to his. The first kiss was little more than a gentle brushing together of their lips, the pressure feather light and tenuous. Byakuya's eyes slid closed as the redhead's arms wrapped lightly around him, coaxing him to move closer. The next kiss was warmer and firmer, and the next even more so. Renji's hand rose and curled around his head, the rough fingers sinking into the black, silken strands and threading through them as his other arm tightened around the noble, bringing him closer.

Byakuya's eyes opened again and found his, meeting them calmly, and silently welcoming another, deeper and longer kiss. He caught his breath lightly as the redhead's questing tongue stroked his lips and yielded to it, parting his lips and shivering softly as Renji's tongue began to explore him. Byakuya watched as the redhead's eyes closed and his arms tightened, and his tongue curled around the noble's, stroking it playfully, then moving on to touch and taste more deeply.

Byakuya's eyes drifted closed and he felt himself being lowered onto his back, and the gentle pressure of the other's body settling itself cautiously onto his. One of Renji's hands remained in his hair, while the other settled on his chest, just over his fluttering heart. The noble kept one arm looped around Renji's shoulders and set his other hand lightly on the one that rested on his chest. Renji's mouth left his and their eyes opened and exchanged a long glance, then Renji leaned down and kissed each soft eyelid and made a line of kisses up the noble's long, slender throat. Byakuya's heart quickened and his breath caught.

Renji lifted himself away and sat up next to the noble, looking down at him and studying the damaged shihakushou he wore. His hand reached out and touched it at the shoulder, then slid slowly down to the tie at Byakuya's waist. He paused there, his eyes taking on a distant look and his lips curving upward slightly.

"This is where you always stop me," he said quietly, meeting the dark eyes warmly, "I always wondered why and you would never tell me. Will you tell me now?"

Byakuya shook his head very slightly, then caught Renji's hand as the redhead started to pull away. The redhead stopped and gazed down at him questioningly as Byakuya brought the hand slowly to his lips, kissed it, then guided it down to the set it on the tie at his waist again. The dark brown eyes locked on his.

"I thought that you said you wanted to wait until I remembered more," he said softly, "Besides, you are still healing and I know that you're still not feeling well."

"You remember enough to know where we encountered difficulty," Byakuya said quietly, "and if you are amenable, I am willing to move forward…slowly."

"I don't want to hurt you," Renji relied, stroking a porcelain cheek, "Like I said, you are still healing."

Byakuya's eyes blinked slowly.

"Then I will tell you if you do anything that hurts."

Renji gazed down into the deep gray eyes, considering, then he smiled and kissed the noble's lips lightly.

"Okay, but you be sure to stop me if you feel any pain."

The hand at Byakuya's waist moved and the redhead's fingers took hold of the tie, pulled it free, then slowly peeled back the shihakushou top, revealing the pale expanse of skin beneath it. He had, of course, seen Byakuya bared to the waist as he healed the noble, but the context of the situation changed things dramatically for Renji. He trailed a line of kisses down Byakuya's collarbone, smiling more widely as the noble loosed a light, sweet sound of pleasure that resonated all through him. He released a soft sigh as Renji's mouth explored the contours of his throat, and the long, graceful fingertips rose and began to follow the trail of tattoos on his shoulders and down his sides. His arms wrapped around Renji and moved his body so that their swelling arousals touched through their clothing. Renji moved his hips slowly, causing the heat to rise between them, and a lovely feeling of friction. He felt Byakuya shiver beneath him, and a soft, hungry moan escaped him.

Renji felt the beautiful sound all of the way to his core. He fastened his mouth on Byakuya's and continued the pleasant motion. The noble's hands tightened on him and the dark eyes found his and studied him with a mixture of uncertainty and affection. It was a look, he realized suddenly, that usually stopped him and made him pull away. But he sensed something this time that he was sure he hadn't before…the removal of a barrier that had always stopped them.

Still, he wanted to be sure…

He lifted himself and sat up, looking down into the noble's calm, affectionate expression and letting his fingers slide down the white skin of chest and abdomen, then settle where the skin disappeared beneath his hakama.

"We should probably stop," he said regretfully, "If we go any further, I don't think I would be able to resist you. You really are beautiful, Taichou…and I don't want to take advantage."

The deep gray eyes blinked slowly, considering. Then he took Renji's hand and kissed his fingertips.

"Abarai Renji," he said quietly, "for far too long, I let doubt steal away what we should have had. I was too willing to live with giving up what was right to me…what I wanted…to hold on to something that lost its meaning anyway as our affection for each other began to fall apart. I have to make a choice. And that being given, I choose to be with you…if you also want to be with me. I only ask that you not take that step without realizing first that once it is taken, I cannot go back."

"And that means?"

"It means that if we make love, I belong to only you…and I will not leave you."

"What if I leave you?"

"Then I will have to live with the result of my choice to give myself to you. I can't force you to stay with me, but I will not be the one who leaves."

Renji smiled and kissed him warmly.

"Well, I don't plan on being the one who leaves either," he whispered, kissing the noble's ear, "so it seems we are both committed to making this work."

Byakuya held his eyes steadily and nodded. Renji had the sudden feeling that more had just been said than he realized, but Byakuya's eyes were silently pleading with him to continue…and he wanted badly to give in to that feeling…so much so that he pushed aside the nagging feeling that there was something important that he didn't know, something Byakuya knew, and was carefully concealing. He decided instead to simply trust the noble's judgment and rely on the fact that they had just committed to staying together and making things work out. And that, he thought, should be enough to hold them together.

He returned to Byakuya's mouth for several deep, penetrating kisses, then caught his breath as Byakuya's hands pushed his hakama down, and he slipped out of it and set it aside. He removed the noble's more carefully, checking the healing injury and finding it had closed completely. He traced the healing surface wound with kisses, then sat up to look at Byakuya's fully revealed body. His face flushed as he realized the noble's eyes were raking his body hungrily, entranced by the dancing black patterns on his skin. And as Renji leaned over him again, Byakuya's hands followed his eyes and his fingers traced the tattoos of his face and throat, then started along his chest. The touches were, at first, light and tentative, but as Renji reclaimed his mouth and laid his body on top of the noble's, the expression in the dark eyes grew more intense and his fingers more insistent.

Renji's mouth attacked the soft, slender throat eagerly now, his fingers exploring the soft expanse of the noble's chest and finding an erect nipple. The gentlest touch elicited a pleased moan from Byakuya's lips and made him move restlessly beneath the redhead. Renji followed his hands with his lips, moving slowly down the lovely, pale torso and pleasuring every inch with tender touches and soft kisses. Byakuya's fingers sank into his hair and the sounds he made became more wanting and passionate, sending shivers of excitement through the redhead and coaxing him to continue moving down the length of Byakuya's body. He sank his tongue into the sensitive white navel and nearly gasped at the sweet sight of Byakuya's back arching and his hips rising. He placed his hands on the slender hips and kissed his way down from the wet navel to the blushing member that awaited his touch. He locked his eyes on Byakuya's, looking for any sign of the doubt that had been there earlier, but all doubt had disappeared and the dark eyes were filled with only desire and affection. He put his lips to the head of the noble's inflamed arousal and watched, smiling as Byakuya moaned and fluid leaked out onto Renji's tongue. The redhead pressed his tongue against the tip, then wrapped his lips around and sank down, sucking lightly. Byakuya gasped softly and Renji couldn't help but smile as he moved slowly up and down, listening contentedly to the noble's intensifying moans.

He reached up and slipped three fingers into Byakuya's mouth, his own member twitching heatedly as his fingers were accepted and caressed with a lusting pink tongue. He pulled them away again and slid them down the soft white flesh, then sucked harder and pushed one finger inside him, pausing as the noble's body stiffened slightly, then relaxed beneath him. He slid the finger in and out, at the same time, continuing the steady up and down motion. Byakuya trembled softly and moaned more heatedly, causing an instant reaction in Renji's groin. He shifted restlessly and added another finger, admiring the hazed expression that had overtaken the noble's calm features. He tried to take his time, but Byakuya moaned his name and he thrust upward. Renji sucked harder, adding a third finger and waiting as Byakuya's body flinched sharply and slowly adjusted.

He gently removed his fingers and moved into position between the noble's parted thighs. He looked down into the glazed gray eyes and wanting expression, then leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"You're sure about this?" he asked softly, not knowing what he would do if Byakuya stopped him now.

The noble hesitated only a moment, then nodded. Smiling, Renji settled between his thighs and slowly pushed inside, carefully watching for any sign of discomfort. But the only sounds he made were sounds of pleasure…and before he was even fully entrenched, Byakuya's hips thrust upward, startling his into motion. Renji watched the gray eyes blacken with pleasure and the lithe body beneath him writhe. He reached down between them and wrapped his hand around the noble's thickened member, sliding up and down its length in time with their deep, heavy thrusts. Renji's mind disappeared into the wonderful sensations, into Byakuya's moans. He plunged in harder and deeper, changing the angle and finding the center of pleasure that dragged a satisfied groan from the noble's throat. Byakuya's hands tightened on him almost painfully and he loosed a sharp cry, then he shuddered and heat washed over both men as hot seed pulsed out of him and onto their skin. Renji thrust in deeply, holding the noble's body tightly and gasping with pleasure as he emptied himself inside Byakuya, then dropped down and lay panting and sated on his lover's warm chest.

Byakuya's eyes closed and he held on to Renji, his chest heaving softly as he caught his breath. He told himself that everything would be all right now, that now that he had been honest about his feelings and had given himself to Renji, what was between them would be enough to carry them through what lay ahead. But even as he drifted toward sleep, he felt that their coupling had been sensed, and knew all too well what awaited him in the Seireitei when they returned. He shivered softly and sank deeper into Renji's arms, forcing the thought away and embracing the warmth and pleasure of being held and loved.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: In a World Turned Upside Down**

Renji woke suddenly and found himself wound tightly around Byakuya's shivering and dangerously feverish form. His eyes remained slitted even when he woke, and he took short, panting breaths. A quick examination revealed that his abdomen appeared swollen and painful.

"Taichou," said Renji with forced calm, "Don't worry about anything. I'm going to get you out of here. You need healing, but I can't heal this. Maybe we can make a run for the living world…send a hell butterfly to Urahara Kisuke…"

"There isn't time…" Byakuya moaned, "I feel it. Renji…Renji, you have to take me to Las Noches…"

"What? Las Noches! You're delirious, right? Taichou…you can't go there! He'll have us tortured…killed."

"I'm dying anyway," whispered Byakuya, "and…the healers in the Seireitei don't know how to stop it. If they did, they wouldn't still be under quarantine. I want you to…take me close…and leave me. I will…go there…alone."

Renji shook his head firmly.

"I'm not leaving you…especially not there. Taichou…Byakuya…we can't…"

"Understand…even if they allow us to enter the Seireitei, and even if I live long enough to reach the fourth division…they…don't know how to stop it. The one at the fortress may reveal it…if we go to them. We can learn if there is a cure…and we can take it back with us…"

"So…" Renji said, haltingly, "You want to go and see if we can get you healed and escape with knowledge of the cure. Taichou, that's crazy. We'll never…"

He was interrupted by the arrival of a hell butterfly.

"Ah…" Renji sighed, "Maybe our troubles are over. Maybe they've found a cure…"

_Kuchiki Taichou, we regret to inform you that two members of the Kuchiki Council of Elders have succumbed to the effects of the parasitic hollow. Numerous other family are infected. Kuchiki Rukia has been hospitalized and placed in suspended animation to preserve her life. All Squad Six seated officers have been affected, as well as nearly half of the unseated members. Nearly half of the population of the Seireitei is infected and deaths are in the thousands. They are leveling off, due to the use of suspended animation to preserve them…however, unless a cure is found, the thousands in these chambers will die as well. We are not able to locate the hollow, as it continues to jump from shinigami to shinigami and all infected have either died or been suspended. In addition, the hollow has left hatchlings in some bodies…allowing young parasitic hollows to be born. We have traced the hollow's origin back to Kuchiki Byakuya…and we suspect that it used Abarai Renji to sustain it until it abandoned him for Kuchiki Taichou's strong reiatsu. Soutaichou has issued an order for the return of Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Byakuya to the senkaimon for transfer to the fourth division. A medical team is standing by for your arrival._

"Taichou, did you hear that? They're going to open the sankaimon for…Taichou?" Renji called frantically, lifting the unconscious noble into his arms.

"Damn! He's too pale…too…kami, what do I do? He's dying in my arms!"

He carried Byakuya out of the cave and looked first at the shinigami base, far off in the distance. He glanced back at the much nearer Las Noches. He turned toward the shinigami base, but couldn't force himself to move. He looked back at Las Noches.

"You're right," he said softly, "You aren't going to survive the trip back."

He turned and flash stepped towards Las Noches, his heart in his throat, and wondering at what point he would be sensed. He closed in on the fortress and heard an alarm sound. Guards ran out and took up positions outside, holding their weapons ready and preparing for battle. Renji stopped a respectful distance away and dropped to his knees, still holding Byakuya in his arms.

"Well Taichou," Renji said in quivering voice, "Now we'll see if you were right…or if we are both dead…"

The hollow guards moved in and one stepped forward.

"Why have you come?" it said in a raspy voice, "Begone with you."

"Fuck…" Renji muttered, "The one time we want them to be interested and…"

"Didn't you hear me, begone, shinigami!" the hollow said, kicking sand at them.

"I want to talk to Aizen Sousuke!" demanded Renji, "You tell him that Kuchiki Byakuya is dying and needs medical attention. He'll let us in!"

"Shut up, shinigami!" snapped the creature, "We will decide who sees the master. Now, leave!"

"Damn it!" yelled Renji, drawing Zabimaru, "If you don't get the fuck out of the way, I'll destroy you!"

He raised his weapon.

"Ban kai! Hihio Zabimaru."

He turned the skeletal snake on the fortress door and sent it soaring forward. Hollows scattered in all directions, trying desperately to get out of the way.

"Hikotsu Taihou!"

Byakuya moaned and stirred where he held the noble against him. His eyes opened as the skeletal snake crashed through the fortress doors. Renji lifted him and flash stepped forward.

"A-abarai," gasped the noble, shaking visibly, "What in kami's name are you doing?"

Renji grinned.

"What you said…I'm getting us into Las Noches. The guards didn't want to let us in. I was going over their heads. Got a problem with that?"

"Baka! This is not what I had in mind! You were supposed to bring me to Las Noches for treatment, not blast the place to bits!" Byakuya hissed.

"Huh!" huffed the redhead, "Well, then, you need to improve your communication skills…and not pass out before clarifying!"

"I'll be surprised if Aizen doesn't just vaporize you on sight!"

"Shh," Renji said, holding him close and stepping the flaming wreckage of the entry doors, "Not now…I have to concentrate."

Renji strode forward, through the swirl of smoke, dust and haze and into the entry room. As the air cleared around him, Renji swallowed hard at the sight of rows of Arrancars lining the great stairway in front of him and pouring in from the sides. He was somewhat relieved to feel Byakuya falling still and unconscious in his arms. If he had made a fatal error, he didn't want the noble to suffer the consequences.

He let his eyes scan the room and felt a sharp chill run through him. At the top and center of the stairs, three armed shinigamis stood side-by-side, looking down at Renji. As the redhead met Aizen Sousuke's eyes directly, two thoughts struck him. The first was that he looked extremely curious…and the second was that he looked oddly amused at the destructive intrusion.

"Well…Abarai Renji," he said in that deceptively soft and gentle tone, "How nice of you to drop in and visit us. I see you have been making yourself known to the guards. Tell me, what brings you?"

He caught sight of Byakuya, held tight in Renji's arms and his eyes grew even more curious.

_Good…if he's curious, he'll at least pause before he kills us…_

"I see," Aizen went on, flash stepping past his forces and appearing in front of Renji, "Your taichou…he is ill? Or is he injured?"

Renji swallowed hard, unable to fully accept that he was close enough to Aizen to touch him, to look into the eyes of the man who nearly everyone in the Seireitei wanted to kill…to feel the man's breath disturb the hairs on his skin.

"Renji?" Aizen queried, "You came here so he might be healed?"

"Ah…" Renji said, shaking himself out of his reverie, "Y-yes…Taichou has been attacked by a…parasitic hollow. He couldn't have survived the trip home."

He held himself still, forcing his body to calm and looked the traitor in the eyes.

"I don't give a damn what you do to me, but do not let my Taichou die," he said in a surprisingly calm voice.

Aizen gazed at him, then looked down at the unconscious man in his arms. He gave Renji a chillingly sweet smile.

"It never ceases to amaze me," he said softly, "the dedication of our fukutaichous. Even one such as you, who came to this one hating him…now you show your true colors."

"Hey!" Renji objected, "How in the hell did you know…?"

"That's not important just now," Aizen said softly, "Come…and bring your taichou to the infirmary. I believe that Gin can help you."

Renji turned to follow the enemy leader up the stairs and down the hallway, wondering if things had just gotten better or worse…

They reached the infirmary quickly and Renji reluctantly allowed Gin to take Byakuya from his arms. The silver haired shinigami carefully set the noble on the examination table and began removing his clothing. Renji bit back his objection at the move, realizing first that it was necessary and secondly, that two Arrancars had placed themselves on either side of him. Tousen had disappeared with most of the other guards, but Aizen remained near Renji, his eyes watching Gin and the unconscious taichou intently.

"How did Byakuya become infected?" Aizen asked.

Renji sighed.

"I disappeared in the desert here two years ago and the hollow made use of me…draining off my power and living on it…until Byakuya found me. We didn't know it could pass from person to person so quietly and without being noticed like that," the redhead explained.

"Well," said Gin in an amused voice, "you two really bought yourselves some trouble this time, didn't you? This is a very advanced infection. In fact, you are correct in having assumed that Byakuya would not have survived the trip home."

"Great…" muttered Renji, "they can write that on my gravestone, right?"

Gin laughed softly and Aizen's eyes glinted briefly.

"Why, Renji, you came to us under a sign of truce…if we overlook the destruction of our entry doors…so why would you think that we would not offer you safety here?"

"Ah," said Renji nervously, "maybe the fact that you tried to murder your own fukutaichou…and that you nearly cut me in half has something to do with it…"

Aizen's lips twitched softly.

"Well, I don't know if it will ease your mind any, but I promise you that no harm will come to you or Byakuya while your taichou is being healed…and it is possible that if you answer our questions that we will let you go as soon as Byakuya's condition has been resolved…one way or the other. So relax if you are able. We won't attack you."

"Terrific…" Renji sighed, "forgive me if I have trouble thanking you properly, but I'm just a little skeptical, if you know what I mean!"

"Of course," smiled Aizen.

"Abarai," said Gin, leaning over Byakuya, "Has he been weak and complaining of stomach pain?"

"Hai," Renji said, nodding, "He has been that way almost from the moment we returned from Hueco Mundo."

Gin's eyes rose sharply.

"You've been to the Seireitei with him like this?" he asked, eying Renji, then glancing at Aizen.

"Well, yeah. They don't make us stay in this wasteland all of the time. We are allowed to go home sometimes!"

"Yes, yes…and was he hospitalized? Examined there?"

"Uh, yeah…it's SOP after serving time here. Everyone is checked out. Besides, he and Rikichi had been injured here, so they needed to be checked out anyway."

Gin nodded and went back to work on the noble. He placed a hand on Byakuya's forehead and deepened his sleep.

"This particular hollow gave us some trouble not so long ago," Gin explained, "but as we have advanced knowledge of the hollows and our methods of research haven't the strictures of those in the Seireitei, your taichou may actually live. The difficulty is that this hollow takes on several forms and is very good at hiding. Even the infected often has no clue what he or she is carrying to others. And it reproduces quickly and spreads like wildfire. I imagine that if the Seireitei has not suffered an outbreak yet, it will soon…and with Byakuya and you both here…and the originating pair, they can do nothing to stop it."

"Originating pair?" queried Renji.

"Originating pair…yes," Gin repeated, "You see, this hollow chooses a powerful victim and attaches itself, feeding on blood and reiatsu, gaining strength. When its strength and power peak, it looks for a powerful body in which to begin the spread of its bretheren. It enters the organism and progresses most slowly in that one…and its effects are weakest in that one. While there, it enters a hidden 'cocoon' state, in which it is not detectable, which is why no one realized it was there when Byakuya was examined before. As the original organism, the first infected…Byakuya, in this case…progresses, the hollow's larvae form inside and the hollow slips out and into another body. Each time it infects another, the effect is faster…but as the speed increases, so does the hollow's visibility. But it is a race against time…because once the original patient is overcome, there is no cure. The only way to stop this infection is to develop an antitoxin that will render all who use it to make them immune. Luckily for Byakuya, even the most advanced cases can be cured, so long as the patient is still alive. I will, however, have to put him in a state of suspension while I procure the antitoxin. We wouldn't want the larvae to erupt from his body and kill him…"

"Shit…" muttered Renji, looking sick to his stomach, "He was that close…"

"Hai," said Gin, smiling a bit coldly at the redhead, "but you see, we've stopped it in time. And in a few hours, I will be able to dose the two of you with the antitoxin and it will be safe for you to go home."

"Yes," said Aizen, "That is good news, ne? Now…to my next question. What is the state of this infection in the Seireitei?"

Renji felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He took a breath.

"I'm not sure," he said carefully, "We have been on deep reconnaissance in a restricted zone and could not risk communication. I have no idea how things are there…but I would like for Byakuya and myself to be released as soon as possible to make sure there is no outbreak there."

Aizen smirked.

"I see," he said softly.

He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again and gazed searchingly at the redhead.

"Abarai Renji," he said, in that same soft tone, "at what point did you decide that I am some kind of fool?"

Renji's blood turned cold in his veins.

"What makes you think that I would believe a lie like that, when the truth is so obvious? Renji, I know the direction you came from…and thus, the area you were in. I know the areas the Gotei 13 would consider so dangerous. None is close to that place. You did not lose contact with the Seireitei…and maybe you didn't come here because it was closer. They are infected, aren't they…dying…and now we have the original pair that are their only hope of cure!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: The Devastation**

Renji sat quietly next to Byakuya, looking down at his relaxed, sleeping face and holding one slim, pale hand in his. Gin bent over the noble's body on the other side of a small curtain and slowly prepared his body for the necessary surgery. Renji couldn't rid himself at the feeling of disgust that went through him, every time he thought of the silver-haired shinigami's hands touching his sleeping lover. He wouldn't have tolerated it for a moment, had the situation not been so extreme.

"So…" said Gin in a conversational tone, "How long have you been with Kuchiki taichou?"

"I've been his fukutaichou for…"

"I mean," said Gin, rolling his eyes, "how long have you been fucking him…"

"Shut up," muttered Renji, his reiatsu flaring, "Don't talk about him that way or you'll be the one who's fucked up!"

Gin chuckled.

"My, my, what a temper you have. But then, you did just return from a rather long stay in the desert, ne? Isn't that what you told me?"

"So?"

"So…all of the interaction with the hollows must have made you revert to an even more primitive state, I think…Do you take Kuchiki taichou from behind or do you look him in the eyes?"

"I said, SHUT UP!" Renji yelled.

He flinched and drew in his reiatsu as Byakuya stirred and moaned.

"Oh," said Gin, "You don't want to wake him right now. I'm elbow deep in his innards and it would inflict a lot of unnecessary pain…not that I have a problem with it, but he might, ne?"

"Just do whatever it is you're supposed to do and shut the hell up."

Gin's eyes darkened.

"You know, Abarai, you might not want to forget that you burst into this fortress entirely of your own accord and demanded help. We might be reluctant to do that if you don't show some amount of gratitude…or at least decent manners."

"And it's so mannerly asking a guy if he tops or bottoms?" Renji asked sarcastically.

"I never asked you that," Gin said, chuckling, "I assumed you topped…you know, because he's in such control everywhere else, he probably likes being dominated by his stray mongrel…"

It took every bit of self control Renji could manage not to get up and beat the living hell out of the silver-haired shinigami, but all he could think about was how close the hollow larvae inside Byakuya were to hatching…and ending his life. He knew, of course, that it might only be delaying the inevitable, turning to such men for help, but he was already forming a plan for escape. He watched carefully as Gin continued the surgery, waiting for any sign of discomfort from Byakuya. But the noble slept soundly through the rest of the procedure and soon the healing ended and the unconscious shinigami was wheeled to a guarded room at the back of the infirmary. Renji worried, at first, that Aizen would start interrogating him right away, but the leader of the hollows seemed amenable to allowing the redhead to sit quietly at Byakuya's side as the noble recovered from the surgery. The two enemy shinigamis stood within eyeshot, observing him from as distance as they talked.

"Shit, they're probably trying to decide how to make us pay for the healing. This is not good…" he muttered.

Byakuya stirred slightly.

"Hey…if you can hear me…don't move too much, okay?" he whispered, trying not to move his lips, "As soon as they know you're awake, they'll probably start…whatever they're going to do to us."

He felt a very slight pressure on his hand and sighed in relief.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"Like I had my entrails removed, of course," the noble whispered back.

Renji reached over and brushed several long strands of black hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead.

"Yeah…you don't look so good."

"You, on the other hand look beautiful," whispered the noble, letting his lips curve upward.

"You're just delirious," replied Renji, smirking, "Now quit hitting on me and help me think of a way to get us out of here!"

Byakuya blinked.

"You mean you came in here without a plan for getting out? How shortsighted of you…" he commented.

"Hey! As I recall, it was your idea to come here. I thought _you_ would have a plan!" Renji objected.

"I think the threat of being devoured by the larvae disrupted my thinking," Byakuya admitted, "I became a bit desperate."

Renji smiled.

"You and me both. Okay…we'll think of something…"

"Abarai Renji," said Aizen, sounding much closer than Renji remembered him being, "I would like to have a word with you, if I may. Come with me."

"Ah…" said Renji nervously, "I don't want to leave him while he's still…"

"You will return soon enough…"

Byakuya's hand tightened in his, but Renji gave him a look of warning and let go of him. He stood and followed the leader of the hollows out of the room, then out of the infirmary.

"Where are we going?" he asked in a low, wary voice.

"I just want to make certain that we do not disturb Byakuya's healing. Now that it seems Byakuya is on the mend, we must speak about what you will do to repay us for our hospitality."

"You couldn't, just this once, take the high road and do the right thing?" Renji muttered half-heartedly.

"Where is the amusement in that?" commented Aizen, directing Renji into a small, darkened room.

The door shut behind them with an oddly heavy click and Renji shivered at the sound. Aizen flipped on the lights and the redhead caught his breath sharply. Ahead of him was a large futon set with restraints.

"On your knees."

"Hey," said Renji nervously, "I thought you said we were just going to talk…"

He trailed off as Gin joined them.

"I never said that talking was all we would do, Renji," Aizen said as the door clicked shut again behind Gin, "Now, get on your knees."

Renji froze, staring at the bed and trying not to imagine what they were about to do to him.

"Obey me now…or we can just bring Byakuya in here instead," Aizen said, his voice growing colder.

Renji loosed a sigh of resignation and turned to face Aizen.

"So…if I cooperate, you won't touch Taichou? You'll just let him recover and not…"

"We will allow him to heal and we will not touch him," Aizen said calmly.

"And you'll let us go back to the Seireitei?"

Aizen smiled.

"Of course, Renji. You must have expected that we would not assist you without some form of payment. This way, everyone's happy and no one gets hurt."

Renji knew it couldn't be that simple, but as he stood considering, Gin touched a button on the wall and Byakuya's image appeared on the wall.

"Do we need to bind you here and go give Byakuya our attentions instead?" asked Aizen.

"No," said Renji, dropping to his knees on the futon.

Gin knelt in front of him and loosed the belt at his waist. He felt Aizen move in behind him and the leader of the hollows slipped his shihakushou top off, baring him to the waist.

Renji was grateful that Byakuya's image was off to the side and partially behind him. It would have been too difficult letting such things be done to his body while looking into his lover's beautiful eyes and imagining what Byakuya would think of him. He wondered how he was going to ever explain…because Byakuya would likely sense something. He was like that…

Aizen's arms wrapped around him from behind and he felt the traitor's already hard member touch his back. Aizen began biting and sucking at the tattooed area on the back of his neck, sliding his hands into Renji's loosened hakama and stroking him as he rubbed his leaking arousal against the redhead's back.

Gin took hold of his head and he realized suddenly that the silver-haired shinigami was naked. He released the tie in Renji's hair and sank his fingers into the soft strands, dragging his face down to where his swollen member waited. He yanked on the redhead's hair, earning a pained gasp.

"Don't you dare bite, mongrel…" Gin said, "Suck."

Renji started to lower himself, but had his hair yanked again.

"And be thorough down there…" Gin added.

He loosened his fingers and pushed Renji's head down. Trapped between the two and too aware of what would happen to Byakuya if he refused them, Renji opened his mouth and closed his eyes, finding the soft sac at the base of Gin's arousal and wrapping his mouth around it. Gin made a sound of approval and Renji felt one of Aizen's hands slip out of his pants and reach over to stroke Gin's cock as Renji continued to pleasure the area beneath.

Renji felt his loosened hakama sliding downward and shivered. In front of him, Gin moaned and his eyes rolled back. He slowly lowered himself onto his back, pulling Renji down with him to settle between the silver-haired shinigami's opened thighs.

Aizen's hand left Gin's cock and Renji's mouth replaced it, sliding up and down, slowly at first, then with increasing speed and suction. Gin moaned louder and thrust his hips upward, forcing himself deeper into the redhead's mouth as Aizen removed the rest of Renji's clothes and pushed his thighs open.

Even knowing what Aizen was doing couldn't quite prepare Renji for the feeling of intrusion as Aizen pushed his moistened finger inside him. He shivered again and groaned, choking on Gin's cock and making the silver-haired shinigami gasp with pleasure.

"Oh, fuck, you're good!" he exclaimed appreciatively, thrusting harder into Renji's mouth and choking him again, "Kuchiki taichou has it good, ne? We should all search the Rukongai for dogs of our own…"

Renji couldn't help but tighten his jaw. Gin slapped his face hard and gave him a warning snarl as Aizen forced a second finger inside him and attacked the tattoos on his shoulders and back, his other hand still stroking the redhead's cock relentlessly.

"That hurt, you bitch!" growled Gin, "Mind that mouth of yours or you'll get more down your throat than what comes out of me!"

"Easy, Gin," chuckled Aizen, shoving in a third finger, "He was likely just reacting to the penetration. You might want him to take his mouth off you while I enter him."

"Not necessary," Gin said slyly, bringing the edge of a knife to the redhead's throat, "If he bites again, I'll drain him of everything he's got, eh?"

Renji forced himself not to react to the words and continued to pleasure Gin's hardened length. His body recoiled as Aizen pushed into him, but he managed not to bite down on Gin's cock. The knife disappeared from his throat and Gins fingers sank into his hair again, forcing him to move faster.

Aizen's hand pumped Renji's thickened arousal as he thrust in deeply, holding the redhead's hip with his other hand. He shifted slightly, changing the angle of his thrusts until Renji gasped and nearly collapsed onto Gin. Gin moaned loudly and his head dropped back as his cock twitched and released, filling the redhead's mouth with his seed.

"Swallow," Aizen breathed against Renji's throat, thrusting harder.

Renji groaned uncomfortably, but managed to force himself to stomach Gin's seed. Aizen's hand left his hip and found his shoulder, and the leader of the hollows pulled Renji backwards into his lap as he sat down. Gin pushed Renji's legs wide and sank down in between them and wrapped his mouth around the redhead's cock. He clamped down until Renji groaned in pain, then moved up and down his length, sucking hard enough to make the redhead shake with agony.

"Now, you see what happens when you anger my subordinate, ne?" Aizen said, thrusting harder, "Try to be obedient now and I'll make him be gentler."

Renji closed his eyes tightly against the pain and tried not to make a sound. He didn't want to give the two the satisfaction of knowing how badly it hurt.

"You know," Aizen whispered, licking his ear and throat, "You aren't hiding it from anyone, Renji. Your body is shaking so hard that I think if I wasn't holding you, you would collapse. I feel you're about to come…and when you do, I want you to thank us for making you feel so good."

He knew he couldn't say those words…

He bit down hard on his lip, making it bleed, trying to stop himself, but his body convulsed, then shook harder and his release exploded into Gin's waiting mouth. Gin swallowed once…twice, then let the rest pool in his mouth. He lifted himself and wrapped his arms around the redhead, clamping down on his mouth and forcing him to swallow his own seed. Aizen thrust in hard, one last time, emptying himself into the exhausted shinigami as he fell back against the enemy leader's chest, too drained and humiliated to react anymore.

"Renji," said Aizen, nuzzling his throat, "don't you have something to say to us?"

"Yes," said Gin, smiling, "We're waiting…"

Renji leaned forward, choking and gagging, then threw up on the bed. Aizen held him as his chest heaved and he tried to recover himself. He braced himself on his hands and knees panting and shaking.

"Oh my," said Gin, "I think we've made him speechless."

"It seems Byakuya had an opposite reaction while watching," Aizen commented, turning Renji's head toward the monitor.

Renji's heart stopped in his chest and his mind disappeared into a white-hot rage. He took in the fact that Byakuya was being forcibly restrained by three Arrancar, the wide, desperate eyes and shattered expression. A scattering of pink petals floated in the air around him and his body shook with the effort of trying to break free.

"Don't let them hurt him!" Renji gasped, nearly throwing up again, "Just…whatever you want…just…I'll do it."

He felt tears in his eyes, but blinked them back and sagged against Aizen.

"Good boy, Renji," Aizen said, kissing his way up the back of the redhead's neck, "Gin…you will take Renji to my bedroom and set him in restraints. I will join the two of you there shortly. I'll go and give Byakuya something to knock him out. Can't have him causing trouble…"

Gin dragged Renji to his feet and the redhead felt the room start to spin around him. He heard Gin say something that was too garbled for him to understand, then his legs gave way and Renji felt himself falling.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: The Promise**

Byakuya felt sensation returning to his body, despite the fog that remained in his head. His eyes opened and registered that someone was leaning over him, brushing his face with a cool cloth. He was relieved to see as the image cleared, that it was Renji who tended him. The redhead smelled of soap and steam, and was dressed in a thin yukata. Byakuya caught his breath sharply and a small sob escaped him as he reached out and pulled Renji close. Renji allowed himself to be captured and held, smiling encouragingly as his taichou slowly regained his senses. The noble noted, with a shiver, that Aizen and Gin's reiatsu still hovered around the redhead…and there were bruises on his skin…and his feet were bare. And a hundred other things that made him sob softly again into the long, wet red hair.

"Renji…" he whispered, "Renji…are you…hurt? Of course you are, but…I mean, do you need healing?"

Renji smiled again and kissed his forehead.

"Like you could heal anybody the way you are now. You need to rest, Taichou. You have a fever. It wasn't good for you, taking on those guards like that."

"I'm sorry," Byakuya whispered into his hair, "I tried to reach you…when I saw…"

"Shh…just forget it, Taichou…it's not important."

"Not important?" Byakuya repeated, hardly believing his ears, "How can you say that?"

Renji shook his head.

"I can say it because it's true. It doesn't matter what they do to me. I'll find a way to protect you."

"Please don't say it's your job!" pleaded the noble, "There is no provision that says you should allow yourself to be sexually assaulted to protect your taichou…"

Renji managed a small laugh, but Byakuya shivered at the ache beneath the calm exterior. It didn't matter what words came out of the redhead's mouth. He _was_ hurting badly, and Byakuya couldn't help remembering that it was his desperation that had brought them to Las Noches. Renji saw the emotion in the wide, gray eyes and acted quickly.

"It's okay, Taichou. I'm really fine. Think about it. You married a girl from the Rukongai. You were there…you know what it's like there. Growing up there, this kind of thing…this exchange…it happened all of the time. We had nothing else to trade, so when there was no other way, we gave our bodies…"

"Stop…you told me that you had never been with a man before…"

"I wasn't. Rukia and I were lucky enough to avoid trading ourselves for food."

"Then, even though it was a fact of Rukon life…it wasn't a fact of yours. Renji…"

"Taichou, even though I didn't experience it then, I knew a lot of kids who did. And I am strong enough to handle this. That shouldn't surprise you."

But the noble's dark eyes weren't registering surprise. Instead, they looked tired and lost.

"Renji," he said in a low, affected tone, "I understand that's how it was then. I understand all too well. That's why I married Hisana…so that things like that wouldn't happen to her anymore."

"You loved her too much to leave her there," Renji acknowledged.

"I was desperate to get her away from there. There was deeper friendship than love between us…"

He broke off for a moment, a look of agony flashing across his face.

"I married her…but I realized when I did that instead of freeing her from that…by marrying her, I obligated her to give herself to me."

"But you were in love…"

Byakuya shook his head, lowering his eyes.

"I might have been…but she wasn't. She assisted in my healing when I was injured and we became friends. When it was time for me to go home, I couldn't in good conscience leave. I thought it would disgrace her if I merely provided for her in the Seireitei. People would have gotten the wrong idea…especially if I then married and was still providing for her. I married her to protect her and so her reputation wouldn't be tarnished. I justified it in my mind by telling myself it was enough that I was in love with her…and that she would return that love eventually. But…she never seemed to see us as anything but very close friends."

He closed his eyes and seemed to battle himself over what to say next.

"We were together on our wedding night, but I couldn't help but feel it was taking advantage, when I knew she didn't return my love. So, I left her alone after that. We were, of course, the best of friends, but all else stopped. But, beneath everything, I felt guilty…guilty for putting her in a position where it seemed she was selling herself for the comforts associated with marrying me. And now, because of me, you've had to…"

"Don't you dare blame yourself!" he said firmly, "Not for protecting Hisana and not for this either! You couldn't help that she was in a bad situation and you were just trying to get her out of there. I don't think you have it in you to take advantage of a person like that! And you can't help the fact that you were infected and dying. Byakuya, you only got that way because you came to Las Noches to find me…Rikichi told me that you had awful nightmares after I left…and you got to the point where you barely slept and ate. And remember, what made you hurt so bad was the ultimatum I gave you before I left. I should never have done that to you…because I never would have wanted you to suffer like that. I knew why you were conflicted. I could have been more patient with you while you worked things out."

"No, Renji," whispered Byakuya, swallowing hard, "I dragged my feet for months after I was released from the healing center…even after I rescued you from Las Noches before, and you made it so clear how much you cared for me. I gave you affection in small doses, but I fell short of telling you what you mean to me. It was wrong…and it was the reason why all of this happened. You would never have left me if I had just said the words…you would never have been infected by that hollow…or brought here and made to…to…do those things with _them_. And I'm still failing you, Renji, because I'm too weak to do anything. My powers are sealed away and even before they were, I couldn't even match the three guards…"

"Taichou…" Renji laughed softly, "Most of us couldn't handle three Arrancar at our full power."

"That's not true," Byakuya insisted, "You're strong enough. You would have defeated them and you would have stopped those bastards from touching me! I should have been able to help you…I should…"

"Shh, rest now. Stop talking. You're just upsetting yourself and that's not going to help you get well…or help us to get out of here."

Byakuya hesitated, feeling there was more to say, but the redhead smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. He closed his eyes and focused on the warm feeling of Renji's closeness. Renji kissed his damp forehead, then his lips again and gently washed his face with the cool cloth. He quivered inside as he sensed Gin's sudden appearance outside the cell.

"He's feverish…" Renji told the silver-haired shinigami, "The wound looks red…like it's becoming infected."

"Well now," said Gin, opening the cell door and stepping inside, "We can't have him dying on us, now can we? We won't have anything to bargain with…"

He glared at Renji.

"Up against the wall," he ordered the redhead, then locked him into restraints and returned to Byakuya's side.

"R-renji," Byakuya moaned deliriously, "Ren…"

"I'm here…my sweet Taichou…" purred Gin, leaning forward and kissing him on the mouth, "Mmmmmm…Taichou…you are sooooo sweet…"

"You fucking animal!" Renji howled, "Don't touch him! Don't fucking touch him…or I'll find a way to kill you! I swear to kami, I will!"

Byakuya moaned and shifted uncomfortably.

"All right, all right, hold still, Kuchiki taichou," Gin said soothingly, "And you, mind your mouth! If you don't, I'll make you suffer for it tonight."

"Renji!" Byakuya called blindly, his body thrashing about on the bed.

"Well, you're certainly making a fuss, aren't you?" Gin complained.

He turned and called a guard into the cell.

"Release him and watch him," he said, "If he tries to harm me, kill him!"

Renji waited impatiently as the guard released his restraints, then rushed to Byakuya and sat down next to him, washing the sweat from his face and talking to him in a low, gentle voice. Gin opened the noble's yukata and studied the reddened wound from the surgery. He sighed in annoyance and extended his hands over the area, sending healing green reiatsu into the wound.

"It is a serious infection," Gin admitted in a frustrated tone, "Bring him and come with me."

Renji lifted the shivering, delirious noble into his arms and felt his breath catch as Byakuya's head landed lightly on his shoulder. He whispered soft reassurances as he followed Gin out of the cellblock and back to the infirmary.

Inside the small examination room, he set Byakuya down and slipped a hand into his as Gin set him in restraints, then drew the curtain across his midsection and addressed the wound. A second healer stepped into the room and began to clean the wound.

"You'll need to release the seal on his spirit energy," the healer said, "it's putting a strain on his systems."

Gin nodded and Byakuya flinched softly as his spiritual pressure returned.

"I'm giving him a sedative anyway," Gin replied, "He won't be able to think straight enough to break the restraints. How is the wound?"

"The infection is bad, but it was to be expected with exposure to that hollow. It needs to be exterminated…"

"Don't worry about it," Gin laughed, "It's in the Seireitei now, causing all kinds of mayhem. I think Sousuke won't kill it while it's making such good use of itself."

The two worked quietly for several minutes.

"Did you finish that special project Sousuke gave you?" Gin asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes. It's ready and waiting in my office."

"Good."

"The wound is clean now," the healer said, "I just have to finish closing it. Then, he'll just need rest, but we should keep him here for tonight…just in case it flares up again."

Gin nodded and turned toward the door.

"Come along, Renji," he said, motioning for the redhead to follow.

Renji gazed at the unconscious noble and hesitated.

"Come now, your taichou is in competent hands. And you don't want to keep Sousuke waiting."

Renji sighed deeply and leaned over to kiss Byakuya's forehead. The dark eyes opened for a moment, but couldn't focus and drifted closed again.

"Get some sleep, okay?" Renji whispered, "I'll be back soon."

He followed Gin out of the infirmary, the feeling of sickness already rising up inside him. He couldn't bear to think of another long, painful night caught between the two traitors. He tried to think of something else, anything else. He was gently surprised by the return of something he had completely forgotten.

_"You should really get some sleep, Taichou," he said, standing and stretching, "We have to be up early to leave for the living world."_

_Byakuya didn't even look up at him._

"_I am quite capable of deciding what I need to do to prepare for our mission, Abarai. You, in any case, were excused nearly an hour ago," the noble said, still poring over the papers in front of him._

_He could have been angry at Byakuya's off handedness, but refused to accept the bait. He often tried to get a rise out of the redhead, to use his anger to make space between them. He seemed terrified of them becoming too close. And the challenge only seemed to make Renji feel more determined._

_He said nothing more, but left the room in silence. He felt Baykuya's eyes on him as he reached the hallway. He passed out of his taichou's line of sight and continued past his room, down to the small squad kitchen, where he prepared two cups of hot green tea, then walked back to the squad office. He was surprised to find Byakuya leaned forward, head resting on his arms and his eyes closed._

"_Taichou?"_

_Byakuya made no move or sound. Renji set down the tea and moved closer, studying the still form of his sleep-deprived leader and shaking his head. He laughed to himself and closed the distance between them, leaning over the noble, unfastening the kenseiken and freeing his hair. He cautiously unwound the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu and folded it carefully, setting it on the noble's desk, next to the kenseiken. He bent forward and slowly lifted the sleeping taichou into his arms, smiling as he said something incoherent and let his head drop onto the redhead's shoulder. He carried Byakuya into the hallway, then into the taichou's quarters. He felt a slight tension as he lowered the dark-haired taichou into his bed. The noble's eyes blinked open and he observed Renji warily in the darkness._

"_Why are you looking at me like that?" Renji whispered, "You fell asleep at your desk. You would have been awfully sore if I just left you there."_

"_I see," Byakuya answered quietly, "Arigato…you may go."_

_Renji started to turn away, only to be stopped by a warm hand that found his. He turned back and found himself pulled down into a slow, sensuous kiss…one that started where their lips met and traveled through his body and all of the way down to his toes. He remained frozen, with his lips against Byakuya's, sinking into the wide gray eyes and wishing this could be the time that Byakuya would allow him to stay. But Byakuya, too, had frozen…and Renji sensed as he always did that there was something holding Byakuya back…something the noble kept carefully concealed from him. He suspected that it had something to do with the dour group of elders he had seen with the noble several times before. And he wished fervently that Byakuya could trust him enough to tell him…_

"_Please, Renji," the noble said suddenly, "you have to leave."_

"_Yeah…" he agreed softly, "because if you kiss me like that again, I'm going to join you in bed and make love with you tonight, Taichou."_

_And again, that same terrified glimmer flashed in the dark gray eyes. Renji frowned and sat down on the edge of the bed._

"_Taichou, I will leave, but before I go, I am going to ask you something. It's kind of important…and I hope you will be honest with me. You and I both know what's happening between us. And we also both know that it has you terrified."_

"_I'm not afraid."_

"_No?" Renji said, meeting his eyes squarely, "Then, let me stay with you tonight."_

_Byakuya's eyes closed and he seemed to struggle with himself for a moment. Renji leaned forward and caught the noble's face in both hands._

"_You see," he said softly, "that's how I know you're lying. Now…there's not much that can scare you…and I know it's not me. You could kill me in an instant."_

"_No…"_

"_If you had to…you could. So, it's not me. But it's something else, isn't? It's not that you don't want to. I can feel that. But I need to know what is making you look like that whenever we're alone like this. Everything about you says that you want to be with me…but," he said, touching the noble's lips, "these say something else. It isn't fair for you to keep going back and forth like this. I'm trying to be patient, but you won't give me a reason why I need to be. If I understood that…"_

"_Please…" Byakuya whispered, "Just go…"_

"_Taichou…you can trust me. You know that."_

"_Renji…" he said warningly._

"_I will prove it. Let me sleep with you tonight. I give you my word that I won't make love with you. I just want to sleep next to you. We sleep near each other on the battlefield pretty often, so it's just a little closer than that."_

"_Renji, why?"_

"_Because you need to sleep and so do I. If we lie down next to each other, we won't spend all night wishing we were in bed together. It's sort of a compromise."_

_He was inexplicably encouraged when Byakuya sat up, rubbing his eyes and gazing at him with a weary, defeated expression._

"_A…compromise?"_

_Renji laughed softly._

"_Just lie back down."_

_Byakuya leaned back against the pillows as Renji turned off the lights._

"_It's only for tonight," Byakuya warned him, "and only because I want you to know that I trust you."_

_Renji smiled warmly._

"_That's enough for me."_

_He slipped into bed next to the noble and was surprised when Byakuya turned and sank deeply into his arms._

"_You're really trying to test me, aren't you?" he laughed._

"_You're the one who said I could trust you," mumbled Byakuya, closing his eyes again._

_The noble slept soundly after that, but Renji remained awake all night, staring down at that sweet, contented face and not wanting to miss a moment by closing his eyes._

The memory suddenly disappeared as Aizen's voice broke in.

"Lie down."

He didn't even hesitate. He knew better than to anger this man. Gin leaned over him, setting the restraints.

"So much more cooperative this time, Abarai," Gin said, smiling, "I guess you learned last night not to show your teeth…although I like a bit of rough play in bed. Ah, but you know that!"

Renji closed his eyes as he felt Aizen move closer. A hand came to rest on the tie at his waist. Then, the body leaning over him hesitated and Renji opened his eyes. Aizen had paused to receive a hell butterfly.

_Aizen-sama, the prisoner seems to be suffering from shock. He has been shaky since Gin left with the other shinigami. I think that it would help to have him return._

Aizen leaned over Renji, nipping at his lips and releasing the restraints.

"Looks like you got yourself a reprieve," commented Gin, "How disappointing…"

Aizen smiled.

"See him to the infirmary, Gin. I will see you back here after Byakuya is stabilized."

Gin sighed.

"Such a bother, these prisoners are!" he muttered, leading Renji out of the room.

They reached the infirmary quickly and Renji was sent in to sit with the noble as Gin and the healer conferred quietly outside the door. He sat down and slipped a hand into Byakuya's, feeling a twinge of worry at how cold his hand seemed. The dark gray eyes opened and looked up at him dizzily.

"You came back…"

"You needed me."

"I always need you."

"I know…and it's mutual. Look, we have to get out of here. You have your powers unsealed. Is there any chance you could unseal mine?"

"I think so…but we must wait until Gin leaves."

"There's still the guard," Renji reminded him.

"You'll have to take him down quietly or we won't make it."

"I saw a way out, but you're too weak to flash step. I'll have to carry you."

Byakuya smiled.

"It's your turn then…"

Renji laughed softly.

"I guess it is. But when we get back…after we get everyone cured, you have to promise me something."

"What is that?" Byakuya asked, looking up at him and frowning.

"You have to tell me why us being together has always made you so afraid."

Byakuya's frown deepened.

"I think I'd rather be eaten by hollows."

"Keep that attitude and you'll get your wish," Renji said, laughing again.

"You won't get me out of here unless I promise?" Byakuya asked.

He didn't give Renji a chance to answer.

"I guess it's decided then," he went on, "An even trade. You get us out of here and I will tell you everything."

"Well," said Renji, his smile widening, "It's about damned time!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: The Escape**

**(Sorry for the shorter chapter, but have to do some things today and ran out of time! More to follow soon!)**

Gin walked back into the healing room, carrying a small box, which he set on the counter. He moved to the examination table, where Byakuya still rested and examined him carefully. He frowned and shook his head.

"This wound needs to be opened and cleaned out again," he commented, drawing the curtain across the middle of the bed.

Renji nodded and looked worriedly down at Byakuya, who still slept because of the sedative. He was relieved to have been allowed to remain at the noble's side. He was, however, worried by the reason he had been allowed to stay. Byakuya continued to struggle to stave off infection, and every time Gin tried to leave with Renji, he seemed to worsen…to the point at which Aizen simply ordered that Renji remain with Byakuya until further notice. Gin had tried repeatedly since then to stabilize the noble, with only marginal effect.

"I am cleaning this out and then that is all I have left I can do," said Gin, "after that, it will be up to you to talk him through, because medically, he's at that point…the balance point."

He smiled slyly.

"But when he stabilizes, the two of you will learn what exactly you will do to serve Sousuke in return for his generosity. He will have something from each of you, and there will be no bargaining."

"But he will keep his promise and let us go?" Renji asked.

"Of course," Gin said, a little too smoothly, "Sousuke always keeps his promises…to the very letter."

The silver-haired shinigami went silent then and turned his attention back to his work. The procedure seemed to take longer than Renji had expected…and the redhead felt a twinge of mistrust as Gin's eyes met his over the curtain, and he smiled, Renji thought, rather wickedly. He held Byakuya's hand and kissed it gently, watching Gin carefully for any sign or hint of trouble.

Finally, Gin straightened, yawned and stretched. He got up from the chair and checked the monitors, before starting towards the door. He looked back as he reached it and gave Renji a smile that made his skin crawl and the hair rise along the back of his neck.

"Take care of him, now," Gin said with false gentleness, "Sousuke has plans for him."

He knew better than to let Gin goad him into asking what those plans were. Instead, he just stared daggers at the man and watched him leave. When he was sure that Gin was gone, he began to try to wake the noble. At first, nothing seemed to rouse him, but just as Renji started to give himself over to panic, he stirred and moaned softly.

"You look better," Renji told him quietly, "but we're going to have to make a run for it while we can. Gin is going to come back before too long…and I get the feeling that as soon as you are stable, they will separate us and we will lose our chance. He probably figures that I won't try moving you while you are like this…and normally, I'd agree. But we can't wait."

Byakuya looked up at him with wide, feverish eyes and nodded. He took Renji's hands and focused, sending reiatsu into the seal on the redhead's powers and breaking it. Renji smiled down at him as he felt his power return.

"Arigato, Taichou. Now let's get our asses out of here!"

He stood and walked to the doorway. Peeking out, he noted the position of the guard and waited until he saw the roving guard pass by.

"Hey, can you come here?" Renji asked, "Tell me if he looks bad again. They told me to call for the healer if he was worse, but I'm not sure…"

"I'll call the healer."

He turned his head to summon a hell butterfly and never saw the approach of the blow that toppled him. He dropped at Renji's feet and the redhead quickly brought him into the room and sat him in a chair. He moved to Byakuya's side, releasing his restraints and helping him onto his feet. The noble stood on quivering legs, watching as Renji placed the guard in the bed. Both were taken by surprise as the healer walked in unexpectedly. Byakuya turned and flash stepped, dropping the healer in the doorway, before grabbing onto the doorframe and leaning against it, panting from the effort.

"I could have done that," Renji muttered.

"You were too far away. He would have cried out."

Renji lifted the healer into the chair he had occupied and rested his head next to the guard. Byakuya turned off the lights in the room and the two slipped out, closing the door behind them.

"How long do you figure we have?" Renji asked.

"It's anyone's guess," Byakuya answered, "but it won't be long. You can be sure of that! Move, Abarai."

The redhead wrapped an arm around the noble and led him back through the infirmary, carefully dodging the roving sentry and grabbing two hooded cloaks from a stack that were placed in one of the empty guard stations. They slipped through the darkened hallways, glad for the cover, and turned in the direction of the prisons.

"This feels so crazy, Taichou…" Renji said softly.

He felt a chill go through him as Byakuya failed to answer, but just leaned harder against his arm. They turned just short of the prison area and followed a guard's passageway that led out into the courtyard. They stayed in the shadows as Aizen's false morning sun began to rise on the horizon. They knew better than to still be there when the light reached the courtyard.

"We have to run for it," Renji said, reaching for Byakuya.

The noble shook off his arm and straightened.

"I can make it."

"Are you sure?" Renji asked, looking a bit doubtful.

"Abarai, get moving!"

They flash stepped forward together, taking the surprised courtyard guards down before they could shout a warning, then bursting out of the courtyard and into the open desert. They wheeled past another guard post, Zabimaru firing itself out ahead of them and clearing the way as they ran. They felt a chill inside as the fortress alarms began to wail behind them. Byakuya drew his weapon and added a flash of petal blades to Renji's assault on the next, more prepared guard post.

Hollows were rising up in groups here and there around them, searching for signs of the threat. And the further forward they moved, the more appeared and blocked their way. Petal blades flashed ahead of them again, clearing the path, only to have it blocked again by more arriving hollows. Renji felt his heart sink at the sight of all of the enemies between them and the shinigami base.

"We…have to find…cover!" panted Byakuya, his face a ghostly white, "or we'll be overrun."

"Hang on Taichou!" Renji yelled, "I'm going to get us clear!"

Byakuya watched in wonder as the skeletal snake rose up and Renji dragged him onto it's furry head.

"Hang on tight!" he cried, launching the beast into the air and sending it soaring across the desert.

They cleared the attacking hollows and spun down into a deep chasm, finding a secreted cave and sliding inside. Renji made the skeletal snake disappear and the two watched cautiously from the cave as search parties combed the desert, looking for them.

"You should rest while you can, Taichou," Renji said quietly as they slipped further into the cave and sat down close to each other in a shadowed corner.

"We both need to rest," Byakuya answered, summoning his power.

He quickly opened a concealing reiatsu cage and the two slipped inside.

"Whew!" Renji said, sighing in relief, "I was sure they had us pretty much surrounded. I wonder how long they will spend searching for us before they give it up?"

Byakuya shrugged.

"But we don't have a lot of time, Renji," he said worriedly, "Things are bad at home and we are the only ones who can help."

"We'll get there," Renji assured him, "but you have to rest, Taichou. You shouldn't have been fighting, in your condition."

"I'll be fine, Renji," Byakuya said, resting his head on the redhead's shoulder.

They fell silent and drifted off to sleep.

Byakuya woke later to the soft sounds of Renji's voice, rising out of the darkness beside him in a troubled gasp. He shivered and moaned, shifting uncomfortably. Byakuya leaned over him and kissed him gently, but caught a startled breath as the redhead sat straight up, his eyes wide and frightened and tore himself away.

"Get your hands off me you freaks!" he screamed.

Byakuya used a kido spell to light the reiatsu cage and took Renji's hand as his brown eyes met Byakuya's and realization spread over his face.

"I'm sorry," he said in a soft, tired voice.

"For what?" Byakuya said quietly, "for letting yourself be hurt by them to protect me? Renji, that wasn't your fault. It was mine. I never should have…"

"We had to go there anyway," Renji said softly, nuzzling back into the noble's arms, "They are the only ones who knew how to end the threat from the parasitic hollow. While you were sleeping and I was alone with you, I slipped into the healer's office and copied the formula for the cure. I stole several samples, too."

Byakuya smiled sadly.

"It still seems a horrid trade off, Renji," he whispered.

"I'm okay with it…really," Renji insisted, "but I do need something, Byakuya, something I can only get from you."

He brought his lips to Byakuya's and kissed him lightly.

"I need to feel my lover's hands on me…so I can forget the others…"

Byakuya met Renji's eyes guardedly.

"Are you…sure that's what's best?" he asked, resting his head on the redhead's shoulder, "I would understand if…"

"I want to forget them," Renji said, reaching for the tie at the noble's waist, "I want to be touched by you until that's all I remember…"

Byakuya relaxed into Renji's arms and let himself be lowered onto his back. He gazed up into the gentle brown eyes and met them with calm assent. He closed his eyes and let Renji's hands guide his to where the redhead needed his touch…and as he touched Renji, soft, green healing power rose around his hands, up his arms and all through him, until his body glowed softly with it. And every part of him that touched his lover was filled with healing and affection. Renji smiled and rested his body on top of Byakuya's, bringing as much of himself into contact with the noble's flesh as possible. They continued to kiss slowly and deeply as their bodies moved against each other.

"I want you inside me," whispered Renji.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed and he felt an uncertain twinge, but he nodded and shifted slightly as Renji raised his hips and positioned himself, then gradually lowered himself again onto Byakuya's hardened member. The noble captured his hands and laced their fingers together, waiting and catching his breath as the redhead adjusted and started to move. Byakuya stared up into his lover's eyes as Renji's hips writhed hypnotically on top of him, holding him fast and making him fall in love with his brutally handsome fukutaichou all over again. He loved the way Renji's body looked, both graceful and strong, throwing itself against him in harder and deeper, mind bending thrusts. He arched into the body that danced so warmly against his, moaning his name, softly at first, then more loudly. Renji fell forward, his head lowered and his body shaking with passion and arousal. He could have climaxed at just the sight of that beautiful creature atop his body, but forced himself to slow so that he wouldn't miss a moment of enjoyment of the sight of Renji, obviously pleasured, his face happy and smiling. But finally, he could hold back no more and emptied himself into his lover in hot pulses, and with a tirade of deep, heartfelt kisses.

He hardly felt the shift of Renji's body, the parting of his own thighs and the soft shock of sensation as Renji sank into him. He assaulted the noble's mouth with deep, sensuous kisses, taking him with deep, hungry thrusts and leaving him so breathless he wondered if he had forgotten how to breathe.

Renji's head bowed and kissed him one last time, as the redhead's body shuddered with pleasure and collapsed atop his. They lay together quietly after, holding hands and breathing softly, letting themselves drop off to sleep, comforted by the warmth of each other's bodies, the soft touches of skin and breath, and the feeling that whatever happened, they would still find a sense of peace with each other.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Well, this is annoying…" mused Gin, watching as his blade withdrew itself from the body of the guard.

The guard's slumped form dropped to the floor to join that of the healer.

"Fools," he hissed.

"Well," said Aizen quietly, "They are quite powerful, even when not functioning at full power. I think you were a bit harsh, Gin."

"I was rather looking forward to more quality time with that tattooed beast. He was extremely enjoyable."

"I was looking forward to impregnating Byakuya…" muttered Aizen, "All of that work you went to…what a shame…"

"A shame Abarai will reap the benefits," muttered Gin, discontentedly, "I wonder how long it will take them to figure it out."

"I'm sure once the furor over the parasitic hollow dies sown, Byakuya should realize very quickly that something is off. But you never know."

"You never know."

"But since they did take the formula and they did get away, we need to move our forces into position quickly. If we are lucky, we can take down the Gotei 13 before Abarai has a chance to impregnate Byakuya and I will have another opportunity," suggested Aizen.

Gin laughed softly.

"I do not know what you see in him. I would have chosen to impregnate Abarai."

"Well, once we are finished demolishing the Seireitei, we can do that, too, ne?"

"Truly, Sousuke, you _are_ a wicked man!" Gin said appreciatively.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: The Devastation**

Renji was surprised to find that he had awakened before Byakuya, but looking down at the too-pale face and sweat dampened skin, he understood.

_It was too soon after being healed and that infection for us to make love. But, sweet kami, I needed it so badly! Even now, it's hard to push the images out of my head, to get the taste of them out of my mouth, to make my skin stop crawling. Being with him made it all disappear for a while. Arigato…Bya._

He watched as the noble's dark eyes opened, then placed a light kiss on each. He started to lean toward Byakuya's lips, but the noble frowned suddenly and pitched forward, clenching his stomach.

"That bad, huh?" Renji said, sympathy in both word and the arm that wrapped around Byakuya.

"It wasn't the kissing," the noble said, in a voice that tried to hide his discomfort, "I just feel awful."

"You'll be all right," Renji said, kissing a damp brow, "Rest a little longer. We're almost to the shinigami base."

"Renji," Byakuya said, forcing himself to his feet and setting his clothes in place, "We must leave now. Aizen will send the hollow forces on the Seireitei quickly. They need to be warned and the cure needs to be mass produced and distributed. There is no more time. We have already lost too much because of me."

Despite the clutch he felt in his stomach, knowing how much Byakuya needed the rest, he realized the futility of the situation. He nodded and quickly dressed, then reached out with his senses to make sure that the area around them was clear of hollows. Sensing none, he made the reiatsu cage fade and led Byakuya up to the top of the ravine. He noted quiver in the noble's step and slipped an arm around his waist as they continued walking together.

"That's hardly necessary," said Byakuya, reprovingly.

Renji chuckled softly.

"I didn't say it was. I just felt like it, so I put my arm around you. Do you really have a problem with that?" he asked, smiling.

Byakuya let out a breath and narrowed his eyes.

"I imagine not," he said, letting a little more of his weight rest on the redhead.

They continued on without talking, mostly because Renji could see that Byakuya's chest was heaving softly with exertion and his face was bathed in sweat. They stopped for a moment to rest and Renji gently washed his face with a cloth dampened with a bit of water they had taken from the infirmary.

"Take a couple of deep breaths," Renji said, looking around them, "The base is dead ahead. I just wonder why the advance guard didn't sense us and come out to…"

He stopped speaking suddenly and dropped down behind the rock Byakuya was sitting on, pulling the noble down with him.

"Byakuya…"

The noble looked in the direction he was pointing and caught a surprised breath.

"A hollow patrol," he mused, darkly, "inside the base. That means…"

"They took the base. Shit…"

"We can still use the crossover point. The hollows won't have found it. It's too well protected and they have other ways to reach the Seireitei. Come."

He took a step and was caught by Renji as he nearly fell. He leaned against the redhead, swaying.

"Damn it, Taichou! You can't keep going on like this…"

"We're almost there. I can rest in the fourth division…while you collect our squad and brace for Aizen's attack."

"If there's a squad left to gather," Renji commented, gazing at the base and thinking about the two hundred shinigamis who had been manning the site.

_I wonder what got them…the parasitic hollow or just an advance force of some kind…_

He caught his breath sharply.

"Byakuya, if the hollows who took the force are an advance force for the bigger attack, what would they do?"

Byakuya's already pale face managed to pale even more.

"It's hard to say," he said quietly, "If he targets the Gotei 13, it could be an assassination squad. They would likely target Soutaichou and upper ranks."

"What if they're not targeting the Gotei 13? Who else would they attack?"

"Most likely, the noble houses. But every house is on guard…because of the parasitic hollow. They will have strong enough defenses, Renji."

Renji nodded in agreement, although not so certain. He followed Byakuya around to the far side of the base, noting the scent of death and the shiver of dying reiatsu. Byakuya gazed at the scattering of bodies around the grounds.

"These shinigamis weren't infected at all, Renji," he said quietly, "They _were_ attacked by an assassination squad."

Renji said nothing, but nodded silently and continued to follow Byakuya to the crossover point. All was silent and the gate was secured, but unguarded. They passed through to the other side and were surprised to find the other side unguarded as well.

"That doesn't bode well," Renji said in an unsettled voice.

Byakuya shook his head silently and continued walking. They passed through the entry point and reached the main wall, only to find it closed. Byakuya called out to the guard post, giving their ranks and squad number. The guard on duty gave a relieved sob and threw open the gate for them, waving them through.

"Thank kami, you've come back! We thought the worst when the shinigami base fell and we couldn't find you. You must hurry to the fourth division. They aren't saying so, but everyone knows that things have become desperate."

"Arigato," Byakuya said, placing a hand on the guard's shoulder, "We have secured the formula to protect against the parasitic hollow and to cure its effects. All will be well again, soon. But you must immediately notify the other guard posts to warn of imminent attack. Open the gates and let the Rukongai citizens inside. They will have no defenses when Aizen's forces arrive. You must evacuate them into the Seireitei for protection.

The guard gaped at him in surprise.

"Kuchiki taichou, don't you understand? We don't have enough people to send out for an evacuation. Our forces are severely depleted! We can barely protect the Seireitei as it is!"

"Then send messengers to the district heads and tell them to evacuate all they can…and have them bring anything they can use as a weapon! They may be forced to fight."

He didn't wait for an answer, but flash stepped away with Renji on his heels. They moved at top speed to the fourth division, Byakuya's weakness still evident, but ignored. They raced up the steps and inside together, trying not to notice the emptiness of the streets and the fearful eyes of the shinigamis they did see.

"We must see Unohana taichou immediately," Byakuya told the exhausted receptionist, "We have brought the cure."

"Oh…" sighed the young woman, "Thank kami…we thought you had been captured…"

"We were, briefly," Byakuya explained, "but as we escaped, we were able to bring the cure."

"This way," said Isane from the nearby hallway.

She led them to the laboratory section, where they found Unohana taichou and Kurotsuchi taichou working feverishly over a set of samples. Renji was unsettled by the relief even in Kurotsuchi's eyes as they took in who was standing before them.

"Ah…we had almost given up hope…"

Renji produced the formula and samples he had gathered. Kurotsuchi taichou studied them for a moment, then nodded.

"I can procure this quickly, but I will need blood and reiatsu from both of you as soon as Byakuya is cleared of larva."

"The larva have already been cleared," Byakuya told him quickly, "I was cured at Las Noches."

"That was nice of them," Kurotsuchi said, narrowing his eyes, "What did they want in return?"

"Nothing of concern to you," Byakuya said sharply, "We were able to steal the formula and samples and escape."

"Good for you," said Kurotsuchi with barely contained sarcasm, "Too bad we've lost the better part of our population. And that was before the massacre…"

"Massacre?" Byakuya repeated, paling, "What are you talking about?"

"You haven't heard?" the twelfth division taichou went on, "Assassins broke into all of the noble houses. They focused mostly on the women and children…"

"No…" Byakuya breathed, his face going white.

"Your clan had already been hit hard by the parasitic hollow. There were only a few men left to fight. I thought that…well…"

"Take what you need…and be quick about it!" Byakuya snapped, regaining his composure.

He turned to Renji.

"As soon as we are done here, go to Soutaichou. He will likely…"

"Soutaichou is in protective custody…to keep him safe from the parasitic hollow. He issues orders, but has left it to the taichous to coordinate defenses. And the ranks are so thin, they are merging their groups and sharing duties. Even so, we only just killed that parasitic hollow. Trapped it in a body that died too fast and pulverized the beast. Too bad so much damage was done before…"

"Don't you have something to do?" Byakuya snapped.

Renji flinched and stared. There was an intensity to the noble's reiatsu he hadn't seen since the day of Aizen's betrayal. He sat quietly near Byakuya, watching as his blood and reiatsu were drawn, then flinching softly as the same was done to him. He looked up as Unohana taichou finished with him.

"Taichou…" he began, then stopped as he realized the noble was gone.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya flash stepped madly along the empty streets, racing past the locked doors of the sixth division and around several curves until he came to the gates of Kuchiki Manor. He opened the gate and entered the darkened house. His attendant appeared in the hallway ahead of him, brandishing his zanpakutou. The housekeeper stood behind him with a kitchen knife in hand. The two suddenly realized who he was and fell to their knees sobbing.

"Gomen nasai, Kuchiki-sama," said the housekeeper, "We didn't know it was you…and they said since Miss Rukia was not here and there wasn't family to defend…"

"They left you unprotected?" Byakuya said, a tremor in his voice.

"The assassins killed most of us, but many were able to find places to conceal ourselves. We sent out small groups to warn us if the assassins returned, but they were more interested in the other sub-families that had heirs to defend…"

"What of the Kuchiki council?" Byakuya asked quickly, "Were they able to…"

"They were all dead before the individual houses were attacked," said the housekeeper in a low voice, "Kuchiki-sama…the assassins killed the council members that the parasitic hollow didn't…and then they targeted the heirs…women…children."

Byakuya swallowed hard and his eyes closed against the words.

"Are there survivors?"

"Yes, Kuchiki-sama…but none of the children."

"What?" Byakuya said, his voice breaking.

"There are no more Kuchiki children…in any of the sub-families. Between the hollow and the assassins…"

He waved off the rest, swaying and catching himself on the back of a chair.

"Kuchiki-sama! You are not well," exclaimed his attendant.

Byakuya straightened.

"I will be fine," he said shortly, "You should all remain in hiding. I will send forces to defend you very soon."

"But…we are just…"

"I will send help soon. I promise you," he said, flash stepping away.

He went next to the Kuchiki Council Hall, stopping and staring at the undefended building for a moment before going inside. As he passed into the council chambers, he spotted Kuchiki Akio, a member of the largest of the sub-families, sitting at one of the tables speaking earnestly with a servant. He looked up and stared at Byakuya, as though uncertain whether he was shinigami or a ghost.

"Byakuya-sama," he said, his composure crumbling as he approached the Kuchiki clan leader, "You have come back…"

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"Too late, it seems," he said, almost breathlessly, "Akio…tell me everything you can."

He sat down next to the young man, noting the signs of illness.

"You need to go to the fourth division," he said quickly, "We have brought the cure. They will be able to heal you."

Akio nodded.

"I will go, but first you must know the state of things. All of the council is dead and we had to select new members from the sub-families. We were able to seat a new council, but it was decimated in an attack on their first meeting, by Arrancar assassins."

"What of the two elders who were in suspended animation?" Byakuya asked.

"The support system couldn't even save them. Many of the ones in suspended animation died anyway. They continued it, because it helped protect many, but the more advanced cases died. We are trying to seat a new council, but, Byakuya-sama, the families have been devastated. Two of our sub-families are gone…"

"Gone…" Byakuya whispered, "Which families?"

"Arata's and Eiji's," said Akio in a tired voice.

"What?" Byakuya said, his eyes widening, "Those houses were over a hundred members each! Akio…"

"I know," said his cousin, tears coming to his eyes, "We've been beside ourselves, trying to protect the ones who are left. We finally gathered everyone at my grounds, because they could be most easily defended. But all of the families have suffered heavy losses. There are no…"

"I know," said Byakuya, unable to bear hearing the words again, "I was informed by the servants at Kuchiki Manor."

Akio's face registered guilt.

"I apologize, Byakuya-sama, for not taking better care of your servants. I was…"

"You were faced with horrid circumstances…I understand, but I ask that you invite the ones among my servants who survive to join you in your home. They have acted honorably, despite the difficulty of their circumstances and we should take care of them."

"Hai, Byakuya-sama. I will send my servant to bring them to my home."

"I will come to your home tonight to assist in the gathering of the new council. We need to prepare. Aizen Sousuke is about to mount a huge attack on the Seireitei."

Akio's face fell.

"Byakuya-sama, our house security is bare bones. Our sub-families have been devastated by the loss of so many women and children! And the parasitic hollow took many of the men who would have defended us. How can we now…?"

"Because we are cornered," Byakuya said with unusual gentleness, "because we must."

Akio seemed to gather a measure of strength from his words.

"Hai, Byakuya-sama. We will prepare ourselves."

Byakuya nodded and stood, then a pained look crossed his face and he leaned against the edge of the table, catching his breath.

"Byakuya-sama? Byakuya-sama, what is it? Byakuya-sama!"

Akio watched in horror as the clan leader took a staggering step, then collapsed.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya woke in a darkened room in the fourth division with Akio and Renji at his bedside. Seeing he was awake, Akio smiled in relief and stood.

"Byakuya-sama, they say you will be fine with rest. I would stay…but I must help prepare the clan to defend itself against the hollows. They say the hollows will reach us tomorrow."

Byakuya took hold of Renji's hand and sat up, waiting as Renji arranged the pillows behind him.

"Akio," he said quietly, "Because I am unable to be of use in defending, I wish you to act in my stead until my return…and when the battle is over, I will appoint you as the new head elder."

Akio bowed his head solemnly.

"You have given me a great honor, my cousin," he said softly, "I will defend our families with all of my strength…with all of my heart."

"I know you will," said Byakuya, closing his eyes, "That is why I chose you. Go now."

He watched with troubled eyes as his cousin left the room and closed the door behind him. He felt Renji's eyes on him and didn't know what to say.

"I thought you would be assisting with defenses…" he said finally.

"I am," Renji replied, taking his hand, "but even I get a break from duty sometimes. I have to go back when we're done here. I think we need to talk first."

Byakuya swallowed hard, knowing what was coming.

"I heard about what happened to your clan…and I know what it means for us…"

"Renji…"

"Don't try to tell me it won't affect us."

"Please…don't do this. Don't leave me now…"

"Byakuya…you and I both know that I can't make heirs with you."

"That doesn't matter!"

"It does!" Renji half-sobbed, "It does matter. We're not talking anymore about a bunch of old men passing judgment on us for our choices. This is about the survival of your noble house. And that does matter, Byakuya! It does to you and it does to me! Hell, if it wasn't for that bunch of old men and those stuffy nobles, you wouldn't be here at all! I would never have had the chance to know you…to love you."

"Don't…"

"I'll fight to the death beside you, I promise you…"

"Renji…"

"But you have to be free to help them rebuild…in every way. You can't hold back any part of yourself from that…not even for me…"

Byakuya shook his head wordlessly, agony raking his features. Tears rose in his eyes and Renji turned aside, so he wouldn't see.

"I have to go. There's a lot to do before tomorrow. Rest, Taichou. We will need you as soon as you are able to fight."

He fled from the room, unable to bear the thought of seeing Byakuya dissolve into tears. But even as quickly as he ran, he couldn't help hear the soft, anguished sounds behind him. His body shook with regret as he flash stepped away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: True Nobility**

"Kuchiki taichou, you should give yourself more time to recuperate," said Unohana taichou, "You have been cured of the effects of the hollow larva, but your reiatsu is still restoring itself. At very least, I insist that you have Hanatarou accompany you."

Byakuya nodded tersely and tied the belt at his waist.

"The hollows will not wait for me to recuperate and I won't sit here and wait for them to squash our forces before I pick myself up and go do something about it."

He slipped the fingerless gloves on and wrapped the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu around his throat. He worked the kenseiken into his hair as the healer watched.

"Are you sure that your rush to action isn't in response to what happened between your fukutaichou and you?" she asked softly.

Byakuya frowned.

"Renji left me…end of story. I won't let the Seireitei fall because he doesn't love me enough to try to work through things."

"Renji was trying to make things easier for you as your rebuild the noble houses…"

"Make it easier?" Byakuya repeated with sarcasm, "He didn't make things easier for me. He saved himself from any guilt over making me unavailable for marriage and baby making perhaps, but he most certainly did not make things easier for me. I despise the way the noble lords butt into my life and tell me what to do with my body and my heart. Now Renji is siding with them. He appears to think as they do…that I should forget my own heart and do what is best for the clan. So I'll do that…after I do my part to see to the protection of those still living. But I will never, for a moment believe that it was right for him to just give up on us this way. I didn't delay opening my heart to him on a whim, and I am stunned that he would leave me with no consideration of my thoughts on the matter. I am stunned he would leave me at all. I told him that if I gave him my heart, I wouldn't be able to take it back. I committed myself completely…and it looks as though I was a fool to do so!"

He fell silent, his chest heaving softly and his eyes dark and angry.

"Have you any idea when the shinigamis affected by the parasitic hollow will be well enough to help us?" he asked, more calmly.

"I will have them on their feet and on their way to you as soon as I can. In the meantime, there is one fighter who is ready to return to duty."

The door opened as though on cue and Rukia entered, looking slightly pale, but fiercely determined.

"Nii-sama," she said, approaching him, "I heard you are going out to fight."

"I am gathering the remaining noble lords to join our shinigami forces at the west gate," he told her, "Rukia…I am glad to see you are well again, though you do look as though you should still be resting."

"You don't look so well either, Nii-sama," she said affectionately, "but we will be strong enough to fight…together."

He lowered his eyes.

"I want you to join the forces watching the blocked gates."

"Nii-sama," Rukia began.

"The other gates must be watched carefully. If the enemy seeks to break in another way, we could be overrun."

"But there are plenty of fighters stationed there to hold the gates. Nii-sama, I know you want to keep me out of harm's way, but I am a fighter. I have a strong zanpakutou. I belong at the main gate. Please don't hold me back just to spare me from danger! We're all in danger and we all need to fight to protect what's important!"

Byakuya gazed at her silently, his heart aching.

_I've already lost so much of my family…so many people who mean something to me. Don't make me do this…_

He closed his eyes against the swell of pain inside and nodded.

"Very well, then," he said finally, "You may join Abarai at the main gate…but you are not to leave his side. There will be heavy fighting…and you will need to watch out for each other. If he doesn't want me with him, at least he will accept you being there…"

Rukia looked stricken.

"Nii-sama…"

"I must go. The noble lords are meeting at the council hall. We will join the fighting as soon as we are ready."

He flash stepped away, leaving her looking after him with a sad expression.

XXXXXXXXXX

"What did you do to Nii-sama?" Rukia asked as soon as she was in a relatively private place with Renji, "I've never seen him like that, Renji. His eyes…he's hurting really badly…"

Renji sighed.

"I'm not exactly pleased with myself, but come on, Rukia…you know I had to. The Kuchiki clan is in ruins. You know it doesn't matter who is on that next council. They will want to marry him off and have him making babies as soon as possible. All it would do if I stayed with him would be to distract him from that. It's better this way…really…"

He sighed and stared off into the distance.

"I never should have encouraged him from the beginning. I knew better."

"You didn't know this would happen," Rukia chided him, "You didn't know the situation would become so desperate."

"Well, it did. And there's nothing I can do about it now. I made a mistake."

"You made a mistake, all right," Rukia said, matter-of-factly, "You took the easiest way out for yourself and kicked him while he was already reeling from losing the better portion of his family. He lost them _and_ you…"

Renji lowered his eyes and shook his head.

"It's not easy for me either…"

"You're not the one who got abandoned, Renji," Rukia reminded him, "Byakuya was willing to fight to protect your right to love each other…and you pulled the rug out from under him. How is that 'easier' for him?"

Renji sighed heavily and didn't answer. Rukia gazed at him for a moment, then moved closer and slipped a hand into his.

"Don't think this is over, Renji. I just saw my brother…and I don't honestly think he's given up. If he had given up, it would have taken him longer to go from hurt to anger."

"He's pissed off?" Renji asked, looking worried, "Great…"

"Don't worry, he won't take it out on you. I don't think he's speaking to you. Just watch out if he asks you to spar."

Renji gave her a half-hearted smile.

"I kind of wish he would. I'd deserve it."

"No argument here, idiot!" Rukia said, affectionately.

"Ah, he'd probably flatten me with just his reiatsu…" Renji commented, his eyes distant and half-distracted.

"What reiatsu?" Rukia asked, "He's barely on his feet. If he wasn't worried about us being overrun, he would have stayed in the healing center, like Unohana taichou wanted him to."

"_He left the healing center?_" Renji yelled, "What is he thinking? He can't do that! I saw the results of his tests, Rukia. He's not up to fighting. He'll just add himself to the list of the dead nobles! You have to go back and…"

"I'm not going to do any such thing," said Rukia calmly, "I don't decide things like that for him…and neither do you."

"But he's only being reckless like that because…"

"Because he's worried, Renji. All of the taichous are…and all of the noble families are. The situation is bad…and for Nii-sama, that means, that if he can stand, he will fight. And nothing I say…or that you tell me to say for you, is going to change his mind."

Renji shook his head and turned toward the fourth division.

"Has he left the fourth division yet? I'm going to go and…"

"Renji…you can't," Rukia said, pointing at the horizon, where an army of Arrancar was beginning to break through a garganta, "Our time has run out."

Renji took a last desperate look in the direction of the fourth division and sighed in frustration. He turned back to face the incoming horde and activated his shikai

"Set the defense shield!" he called to the shielding team, "Kido group, start your incantations. The rest of you get ready for a frontal assault."

He and Rukia stood ready as the shield rose up in front of them and the Arrancars moved forward, snarling and firing ceros. The first few hit the shield with little effect, but as they grew closer and adjusted the power, the blue shield flashed each time it was hit and slowly weakened.

"All right, kids!" Renji yelled to his group, "Here they come!"

As his words died away, three menos grande lumbered forward, leveling cero blasts at the defense shields. Renji heard the kido specialists coming to the end of their incantations.

"Drop it!" he cried, running forward and sending red fire blazing from his hands.

The shield dropped and a sea of kido fire erupted from the kido group, and was swiftly followed by a group of fighters, who swept down onto the still, reeling Arrancars. Red, blue and golden light flashed as kido met cero and exploded over the heads of the ground fighters.

Renji continued forward, gathering Zabimaru and launching himself into the air. He sent the jagged blade wheeling around the three menos that had blasted the shield, preventing them from firing a second blast at the kido group, which was in the midst of sending another volley at the Arrancars. Squeals, shrieks and death cries erupted around the battlefield as the fighters raged against each other, each knowing that if the shinigami's failed to hold the hollows at the gate, the Seireitei would collapse completely and be overrun.

Rukia flash stepped forward, sending a blue fire blast at a group of hollows, then drew her weapon and released a blizzard of ice that swept across the field, knocking the hollows aside and freezing them in huddled ice balls on the ground. The ice cracked loudly and shattered, destroying them.

Renji flash stepped around the ground forces, looking for the stronger fighters and shifting his weapon to ban kai. He turned his head and caught sight of Aizen and Gin watching in the distance and turned toward them, swinging Zabimaru on their direction.

"Hikotsu Taihou!" he cried, sending the skeletal snake soaring toward them.

Red fire blasted from its mouth and the enemy shinigamis disappeared and reappeared farther away.

"Bastards!" he hissed, "I'll make you sorry you ever fucking laid hands on me!"

He followed the skeletal snake forward, gathering himself for another assault.

"Stop running away from me, you sons of bitches!" he screamed, "You put your hands on me, you're going to fucking die! NOW DIE!"

The skeletal snake shot forward, with Renji right behind. As the fire blast erupted, Aizen and Gin disappeared again and reappeared too close.

"Damn!"

He tried to spin off to the side, but was nearly impaled on Gin's blade. Aizen flash stepped and appeared in front of Renji, his sword drawn. The two slashed at each other and blood erupted around them.

"What the…" he gasped at the pain in his shoulder and side, as Aizen smiled and raised his blade, point down.

"I'm going to end this fight now, Renji," Aizen said quietly, "We are going to destroy you and claim victory right here."

"The hell you are!" Renji cried, bringing up his weapon and slashing at Aizen again.

"Your troops are tired and beaten down by what has happened. They cannot stop us."

Renji tried to ignore the screams of the dying and the fact that, from what he could see, the hollows were gaining the upper hand. He threw himself against Aizen, slashing furiously and moving at flash step speed. He heard Aizen laugh and stopped, a chill going through him as he realized that the right side of their defense group was on the verge of collapse.

He tore free of Aizen and flash stepped in that direction, calling for the nearest fighters to follow. They were nearly there, when the area ahead of them erupted in screams and the crumbling defenses gave way.

"Oh no…" Renji gasped, "We won't make it!"

"I think we need some back up!" shouted Rikichi.

"Kid," said Renji, his heart sinking, "We _are_ the back up! Now move!"

He watched in horror as the line of defense collapsed and disappeared into a sea of hollows.

"Go for the gates!" Aizen ordered them.

The group swept in behind the defending forces and closed in on the gates.

_Oh my kami! We can't stop them!_

Renji's vision blurred slightly and a moment later, he felt a familiar reiatsu and saw a storm of pink petals sweep down to engulf the attacking forces. Terrified shrieks and explosions of blood rose up from the area the petal blades had covered, and as the blades dissipated, Byakuya appeared behind them, flash stepping down onto the battlefield surrounded by a large group of nobles. They fanned out quickly, finishing off the hollows that had burst through, then restoring the right flank of the defenses.

Byakuya flash stepped away from the defenders and turned toward Aizen and Gin, his petal blades flashing again.

"Bya don't!" cried Renji, flash stepping after him, "You're not…"

He broke off as white fire erupted from the noble's hands and sent Aizen and Gin flash stepping clear. Aizen reappeared well away from the noble, but Gin was nowhere to be seen. Renji flash stepped toward Byakuya, calling out in warning. The noble turned toward him, white fire rising around his hands again and his eyes widening in panic.

"Renji, look out!"

Too late, the redhead felt the incoming blade and tried to move. He heard the sound of a heavy impact and a soft sound of pain. Byakuya stood between Renji and Gin, the silver-haired shinigami's blade deflected through his shoulder.

"Byakuya…" Renji said breathlessly.

Gin's blade retracted and Byakuya swayed, but forced Renji back with his other arm. White fire blasted from his hands again, forcing Gin away. Renji turned toward the noble again, but was kept from reaching him by the arrival of Akio.

"Byakuya-sama!" exclaimed Akio, wrapping and arm around Byakuya and leading him away.

Byakuya allowed himself to be pulled back behind the defenses, then moved into a quiet area. He dropped to his knees, breathing raggedly, but remaining calm and alert as Hanatarou began healing him.

"Kuchiki taichou!" the youth cried worriedly, "You shouldn't have tried to battle those guys! Unohana taichou said…"

"Enough…" Byakuya said quietly, "See to your task and do not irritate me with your chatter."

"Hai, Kuchiki taichou," Hanatarou said quickly.

He bent his head and focused, shivering and falling silent as he addressed the noble's bleeding shoulder.

"The kid's right," Renji said in a low voice, "You shouldn't have done that."

Byakuya answered without looking up.

"We are all doing what must be done," he said shortly, "and you have a squad to attend to."

Renji's lips tightened and his reiatsu flared, but he turned on his heel and flash stepped back to his group.

"Come on," he said gruffly, "We need to heal and reset the lines. They'll be back."

He stole a glance back over his shoulder and felt a catch in his chest as a shock of pain registered on Byakuya's face and he leaned against his cousin, lowering his face to hide his pained expression.

_Stubborn bastard…You're determined to make me sorry for hurting you. You don't understand at all. I was sorry before I ever said the words…and you can't hate me even half as much as I hate myself!_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Loving through Loss**

Byakuya unlocked the door to the sixth division office and stepped inside, grateful for the fact that Renji appeared to have remained on the battlefield for the night. The noble had pushed himself as hard as he dared and knew from the signals his body was sending him that he needed to rest while there was time to do so. If only he could make himself sleep. He set Senbonzakura in his stand and dropped into his chair, having no intention of addressing the stack of paperwork on his desk, but finally doing so, because it seemed unbearable to think that he was going to be sleeping alone. He wasn't sure at what point, his head began to spin and the papers faded before his eyes. He was awake and working one moment and on the floor the next.

He thought he heard someone say his name and mumbled something incoherent in reply, then his mind seemed to drift in and out of awareness. He felt himself lifted and carried, undressed and placed in bed, then heard the sound of familiar footsteps walking away.

"You always leave," he said softly.

And he heard the footsteps stop…

"It used to be that I couldn't say the words because I was conflicted…or maybe afraid. You told me to make a decision…that it wasn't fair for me to act in ways that told you that I loved you, but then to refuse to acknowledge it. I couldn't resolve things in my mind fast enough, so you left. But you didn't come back. You were in my dreams every night and you wouldn't let me sleep. I must have awakened from a thousand dreams, thinking you had come back, but when I opened my eyes, you weren't there. So you didn't leave me once, but a thousand times…and a thousand weights were placed upon my heart while I waited for you."

The footsteps came closer.

"No one ever stays. The one constant thing in my life has been that. My parents died. Ginrei left for the spirit dimension. Hisana died. Everyone leaves in the end. You tried to convince me that you were different. But you aren't. The why doesn't matter. The how is meaningless. You know what a dead future I have and you don't want the weight of bearing it with me. Maybe I have to give myself in marriage to a noble woman…and we have to produce heirs for the clan, and I will do what I have to. Have you ever thought? Have you ever considered…that she has a future as dead as mine? I won't mistreat her, because she will give everything else up, just as I will. I might even be thankful she is there, because she will be the one who can't leave. But I will never be able to love her. And she will know I don't love her. It won't matter whether my heart refuses her for you, or the ghost of you…it will be you, one way or another. I can understand why you don't want to be part of that dead future, but don't pretend you're somehow showing me kindness by leaving me. It isn't kindness. It may be protecting your heart. It may be freeing yourself so that after the hurt goes away, you can continue looking for happiness. Call it what you will, but be honest about it. Don't pretend you're doing it for me."

"Do you really think that I'm leaving you so that I can go and find someone else?" Renji asked softly, "Who in the hell is ever going to be able to compare to you? You're the most beautiful person I've ever known, Byakuya. And I was no less committed than you were when we made love. I heard what you said about giving yourself over completely and I get that you want me to stay…but I don't fit into this picture of noble life that you have to live. You know I don't. I hate the thought of you marrying someone else. I don't want to see it happen…or even think of it happening, because I want to be the person beside you. And the idea that you will have children and raise them with her is heart rending, because I wish it could be the two of us. So if you think that you are the only one being hurt by this…"

"I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is…don't leave me now, before anything has even happened. Even though it's the more difficult thing to do, stay with me for every minute that we do have. If, in the end, we have to be parted, then we can't stop that. But we have right now. It may be all we have left. And if I have to resign myself to a life without love, at least give me something to remember it by. Give me a face and a name I can think of every time I stand under the full moon and wonder why my heart will never stop aching for you. Because it doesn't matter how far you run from me. I won't forget you. And I don't want to be forgotten by you. Even if we can't be lovers in the end, we can still love each other. And we can still be there for each other to ease that feeling of loss. I know it's unfair to ask of you. You have a choice. You can find love where you will and no one will tell you it's wrong. You can replace me with someone else and soon you won't even miss holding me in your arms…but even though I have a noble wife and children, my heart will be empty…because you won't be there. And don't tell me that we'll see each other here, because you will leave the squad, too. You will place yourself as far from me as you can so that you don't have to look at me. We both know that."

"So what's the alternative?" Renji asked quietly, "What is it that you want me to do? Because if I am going to lose you…"

"What? You want to do so sooner? You want to leave me now, because it will somehow end up hurting less…or making the transition easier? Don't you understand? Aren't you hearing me? I am giving up everything that means anything to me, so that I can keep my clan alive. I won't be sorry, because they are my family, but I will serve them with a heavy heart. I know that after you leave, I won't know love again, so I want to feel it for as long as I can. Is that selfish? Is it wrong? Maybe it is. But it is honest…and it is what's in my heart. Before, you were angry that I wouldn't yield what was in my heart and now you don't want to hear it…"

The footsteps came closer and a weight settled on the edge of his bed. Byakuya forced his aching eyes open and felt a shiver inside as he took in the redhead's shattered expression. The large brown eyes were teary and several had found their way onto his face. Byakuya reached out and brushed them away, then curled a hand around his head and gently pulled him closer. Renji stopped, just short of his lips, frowning.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked softly, "Are you afraid I will bite?"

"I know you will," Renji said, with a half-hearted chuckle, "I just know that you're not up to making love…and I'm not selfish enough to expect it…so if you will agree that we won't make love and that you will get some rest, then I'll stay with you tonight…if that's what you want."

"Just tonight?" Byakuya asked, letting his lips brush lightly against the redhead's.

Renji rolled his eyes.

"It's never enough for you, is it? Okay…then let's agree on this. I will stay with you…and we won't make any plans for the future. We'll take it as it comes."

"Take it as it comes, huh…" Byakuya said, a dangerous gleam coming into his eyes.

The next thing Renji knew, he was pulled down and held in place by a body that should not have had the strength, but used every bit of what it had to trap him.

"Since when do you set the rules of engagement? I am Taichou…remember? Now, be a good subordinate and do what you're told. Hold still, because I haven't the energy to force you."

"Byakuya, what are you…"

The noble's mouth attacked his with surprising ferocity.

"B-bya! You're going to knock yourself unconscious again!"

"I'm already in bed. I won't hurt myself…"

"But…you need to rest!"

He caught his breath and lost it again as his clothing was moved aside and the noble's mouth moved on to his throat.

"Mmmmm…you are going to regret this, Taichou…" Renji panted, "You are going to hurt so bad in the morning…"

"That's why we have healers…"

"You know, you really are evil, Byakuya. There's no way you should be doing this. We're both going to regret it later."

"I don't think so."

"Oh…oh, kami, do that again!" Renji hissed happily.

The noble's hips thrust deeply into his and Renji moaned hungrily. He didn't resist as his thighs were pushed wide and Byakuya entered him in slow, careful thrusts. He stopped when he was fully entrenched, panting softly and trying to bite back the pain of exertion. Renji opened his mouth to object, but was silenced with a soft torrent of deep, slow kisses. The noble's body calmed and his breathing grew deeper. He brought his lips to the redhead's ear, breathing soft words with each careful thrust.

"Renji…my lover, there are only three things that I know with absolute certainty…I live for you, I love you…and I would die for you."

Renji's lips smiled against his and his body arched upward into the noble's

"Just please…don't die in my arms tonight," he panted, "And know that there are three things I know with certainty too. I will always love you, I will find a way to stay close to you…and I will never, under any circumstances, be able to forget you…"

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, passion beginning to overtake him, "You've already forgotten me once…"

"I didn't forget you," the redhead laughed, "I just forgot I didn't despise you anymore."

The words disappeared into the heavy thrusting of their bodies against each other and a rage of kisses, clenched hands and lost breath. Pleasure gripped them, sending hot bursts of mingled bliss and pain through their aching bodies. Byakuya collapsed softly onto the body beneath his and was asleep almost instantly.

"Baka," Renji breathed into the soft, sakura scented hair, "You know we're going to pay for this…"

But somehow, the cost of doing so, didn't seem so high anymore.

"We'll find a way, Byakuya," he whispered, "We will."

He was asleep before he could see the sweet smile his words brought to Byakuya's lips.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Taichou…" Renji whispered, nudging his sleeping lover gently, "Taichou, it's morning."

The dark eyes opened and pain flashed across his face.

"Oh…" he hissed softly.

"Yeah," Renji said sympathetically, "I did try to tell you that you were going to hurt if you did that, last night."

"Renji…if you tell me 'I told you so' again, I will kill you. Now, help me up."

Renji laughed softly and leaned over him, extending his hands and sending a flow of healing reiatsu into the noble's aching body.

"What, you didn't abuse yourself enough yesterday? You have to go out there again today and prove what a tough guy you are?"

"I'm not trying to look tough. I'm protecting what's important," Byakuya said, gazing up into his eyes.

"I know that," Renji replied, looking back at him, "so I'm not even going to bother telling you that you don't belong out there in this kind of condition. Just…let me do the harder fighting. Hold something back…"

Byakuya took hold of his hands, sat up slowly and captured the redhead's lips warmly.

"I never hold back," he whispered, "I will always give everything to the things that matter."

"I know you do," Renji said, brushing the hair away from the wide, gray eyes, "But remember that your life matters to me…so take care of yourself out there, today. I need you to be okay…understand?"

Byakuya nodded.

He slipped out of bed and started to dress, but stopped a moment later, placing a hand against the back of a chair to steady himself. Renji frowned worriedly and flash stepped to his side.

"Let me help you with that," he said softly.

He expected Byakuya to resist, but the noble merely nodded and allowed Renji to dress him. The redhead set his shihakushou in order, slipped the fingerless gloves onto his hands, laid the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu around his shoulders and worked the kenseiken into his hair. He stood back for a moment, admiring the noble and could almost overlook the now hidden signs of weakness. He forced himself to ignore what he knew and dressed quickly.

They returned to the outer office and set their weapons in place, then left together, flash stepping along the quiet streets and out to the west wall. They found their squad waiting just inside the gates and moved to the front of the group, turning them and leading them out to the battlefield. The kido specialists took positions on the wall behind them, and the shield holders set themselves in position around the group.

Byakuya studied the area around them, noticing for the first time, the range of fighters in the different groups gathered on the battlefield. Noble and commoner stood alongside one another, holding zanpakutou or short knife…whatever means they had of defending themselves. They looked each other in the eyes when they spoke and there seemed to be none of the holding away that usually existed there. It lit a small flame of hope…for the fighters who stood ready for battle…and for the noble about to give his body over to the creation of more nobles. He could think of it and still keep breathing now. Somehow the breaking down of walls and the calm presence of Renji at his side brought back the sanity, restored his confidence and raised his hopes.

_I can go into the battle with a clear heart…with resolve now. This place and these people are worth fighting for…worth dying for. We are where we belong, fighting side-by-side, sharing space and making room for each other. We won't think too much on the future, but will protect each other now. Because now may be all we have…_

He heard the growls and snarls of hollows rising up in the distance and loosed his sword from its sheath. He stood beside Renji in full readiness, waiting as the battlefield ahead of them began to fill with too many enemies. The kido shield rose around them and the kido group began their incantations. Ceros pounded the shield, making bright flashes of light in the early dawn.

"Ban kai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi," Byakuya said, loosing his power.

The steel swords rose around him and dissolved into an ocean of petal blades. The shield dropped, but as the kido spells rose up, new ceros fired down into the group, sending scores of fighters to the ground, many to remain still and quiet as the rest threw themselves forward against the incoming wave of hollows. Petal blades flashed and danced around the battlefield, weaving their way delicately around the Seireitei's fighters and sinking into the bodies of the attacking hollows. It didn't take long for Byakuya to realize that Aizen and Gin stood in the distance, watching, but not involving themselves.

_They don't imagine that they need to fight…_

Byakuya felt the strength of the force they were fighting and realized that Aizen was going all out…in a bid to overrun the Seireitei completely. And against the horde he could see, it seemed they wouldn't have a chance. He heard Renji swear and felt a cero singe his arm. Renji said something, but Byakuya barely heard. His eyes were fixed and staring at a hollow monstrosity rising up in front of them. It swept its clawed hands downward, throwing fighters aside right and left as it lumbered forward, toward the protective wall. Byakuya raised a shield around himself and Renji, then watched, breathlessly as the redhead sent the skeletal snake to extend and wind itself around the huge beast. Then, a moment later, his ban kai shattered and the beast closed in on them.

_Sweet kami, we'll be crushed!_

He sent a blast of kido that didn't even slow the creature, but forced Renji and him backwards, giving them more room to fight. The redhead fired blast after blast of red fire, but the creature moved steadily closer. Byakuya's ban kai slashed at it, distracting it slightly, but then the clawed hand swept down…and was headed directly for Renji.

There wasn't time to pull him clear, but the noble wrapped his arm around the redhead and flash stepped, then felt the clawed hand slash at them and send them tumbling away in a cloud of dust and raining blood. The beast reached the gate and from where he laid on the ground, Byakuya saw the gate crack and felt the rumble pass through the ground beneath him. More enemies were coming in behind it…and as the shinigamis pulled back, Byakuya found himself alone with an unconscious Renji held tightly in his arms. He could feel Aizen's eyes watching as the forces closed in on them. Byakuya used the last of his power to enclose the two of them inside a protective shield. He felt Renji stir and gave him a gentle kiss. The redhead's eyes found his wearily and saw the truth written there.

"I'm glad that we had last night, Bya," he said, with surprising calm, "I love you…and it was worth it all, just having you for the little bit of time there was."

"I love you too," Byakuya said, yielding him another kiss as the hollows reached them and ceros and claws pounded against the shield.

The two held each other close, watching and waiting as the shield around them cracked. Their hands tightened on their swords and they exchanged a smile of calm acknowledgment as the shield finally shattered and the full fury of the hollows rained down on them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: With Opened Eyes**

As Byakuya's shielding shattered and collapsed around Renji and him, the noble felt something break inside him and a flood of power open up all around him. Senbonzakura roared to life in his hand, releasing his senkei without him uttering a word. The thousand swords fell into place around Byakuya, Renji and hundreds of hollows, locking the hollows inside the fighting chamber with them. One not acquainted with Senbonzakura's true form might have thought it a futile move, but as though reading the other zanpakutou's move, Zabimaru released and surrounded taichou and fukutaichou with the coiled body of the skeletal snake. Byakuya's eyes locked on Renji's as he wordlessly brought down the full contingent of swords, sinking them into the bodies of the trapped hollows.

"I'm going to detonate the swords together," he told Renji, wrapping an arm around the redhead and locking their bodies together, "Hold your ban kai for as long as you can…and stay down."

Renji nodded, pale faced at the thought of the power about to be brought down on the trapped hollows in the fighting chamber. He tightened his body against Byakuya's and watched the noble's eyes blaze and flash as he raised his power, then made the swords in the impaled hollows all simultaneously explode.

A deafening roar of sound broke over them and the ground rocked dangerously. The skeletal snake slowly became engulfed in white fire and shattered. Byakuya forced Renji down flat against the ground as a wave of searing heat broke over them. Everything became heat and screams of the dying hollows, as their bodies trembled against each other where they lay exposed and now vulnerable on the hazy battlefield.

As the heat faded, the two surged to their feet, blinking in the smoky half-light and turning towards the failing gate. The monstrous hollow remained at the gate, his great body smoldering and bloodied.

"Damn!" Renji hissed, "I can't believe that thing is still _alive_, let alone on its feet!"

"I don't suppose your reiatsu is restored enough to provide us an attack?" Byakuya queried as the huge hollow roared furiously and turned toward them.

"Sorry," Renji said, chuckling, "I used everything I had, too. I think we're going to have to move…but at least we distracted it from the gate."

He stopped and swore, staring as more hollows began to appear all around them.

"I don't suppose you've got another senkei up your sleeve, Taichou?" he asked hopefully.

Byakuya frowned and the two backed away as the monster hollow bore down on them.

"Looks like you and I are about to be sandwiched…"

He trailed off as Byakuya's face lit and he motioned in the direction of the gate.

"Renji…look!"

All along the top of the gate, ranks of newly healed and returned shinigamis waited…and at the head of them stood the fierce form of the captain commander. Ryujin Jakka flared hotly in his hands and a blast of fire swept down and surrounded the huge hollow that approached Byakuya and Renji. The monstrosity disappeared into the red and orange flame, screaming in pain as it was devoured and toppled, falling and landing at Byakuya and Renji's feet. The newly returned troops swept down off the battlements and surged across the battlefield, their fierce cries louder than the screeches and growls of the incoming hollows. The noble and his fukutaichou flash stepped back to the safety of the gate and watched as the fresh troops quickly overwhelmed the surprised hollows…and the frowning forms of Aizen and Gin disappeared.

As they stood on the battlements, a passing shinigami stumbled and careened into Byakuya, taking the surprised taichou to the ground with a startled gasp. Renji stifled a laugh as Byakuya climbed to his feet and offered the blushing woman a hand. She accepted it and was pulled gently to her feet, her large brown eyes meeting Byakuya's and her face blushing cutely

"Oh…m-my apologies, Byakuya-sama," she said quickly, backing away.

"My lady!" exclaimed a second female shinigami, "Are you all right."

"I'm fine," she laughed, still blushing.

The two bowed and flash stepped toward the battlefield, leaving Byakuya and Renji staring after them.

"Byakuya-sama?" Renji mused, "She's a noble?"

"It seems so," Byakuya said curtly, "But it seems she is somewhat lacking in grace. Let's hope her fighting skills are better than her senses of direction and spacing."

"Aw, she was cute, Taichou!" laughed Renji, "She reminds me of this friend Rukia and I had growing up."

"Hmm," Byakuya said, watching as the young noblewoman drew her weapon and began fighting alongside her attendant.

"She's pretty handy with a sword," Renji said appreciatively.

"Yes…well, if you continue to stare, I may get jealous," commented the noble, "Come, we have work to do."

"Okay, fine, but hey…why would _you_ be jealous? I'm the one who's about to get left so you can get married, Taichou…"

"Please don't remind me, Renji," Byakuya said, frowning in annoyance, "I'm trying not to think about it."

"Like that's going to work," Renji said, shaking his head and following as Byakuya turned back towards the division office, "It's not like it will go away, you know."

Byakuya sighed.

"I know. I just don't want to think about it."

Renji offered him a sad smile.

"Well…I'm thinking I should have expected something like this. Maybe I did and I talked myself out of it…but on some level, I guess I knew we would never be a normal couple, Taichou."

Byakuya met his eyes for a moment, then looked away.

"You sounded, for a moment, like you were reaching some sort of acceptance," Byakuya said quietly.

"Well…I have questions…like if I did stay with you, would it have to be a secret? Would we have to lie about it?"

Byakuya blinked.

"You're thinking about _not_ leaving me?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

Renji nodded.

"But it really depends, you see. Because, I don't want to have to tell lies to cover it up. If you're married…there are certain expectations. I wouldn't purposely embarrass you, but I wouldn't want to have to hide everything either."

"Well…" Byakuya said, slowing his walking, "It won't be a traditional coupling. You see, I am only required to sleep with my wife until there is an heir. And she is only bound to me until that time. She may decide to stay with me and I with her…and it is likely that my wife will stay, because whatever she does or doesn't feel for me, she won't want to leave her child behind. But since I am in love with you and she and I will be virtual strangers in an arranged marriage, we will not share a bed except that once."

"You're that sure it will only take one try?" Renji asked.

"Thankfully, because of the constant need to preserve the power in our bloodline, we have evolved to be more fertile during mating. It is a state of mind the bride and groom are placed in by a use of our elders' power. I will only have to be with her once and she will bear a child."

"So…Taichou, knowing that she will stay…and even if you are not sleeping with her, where would I fit in to that? I mean, if you're married to her, I'm sure there are rules that prohibit the two of you from having another lover or something…so how could we…"

"We would likely separate officially after the birth of the child and she would live at the manor, with our child. She would then be allowed to remarry…but the child remains at the manor as he or she will be my heir."

"So…really…this marriage isn't going to be a permanent thing, right?" Renji asked.

Byakuya shook his head.

"Most arranged marriages are under stricter rules, but because of the desperate need for noble born heirs, the rules will be relaxed…in acknowledgment of the sacrifices we are all making for the good of the clan. In actuality, you and I will face less obstacles. You see, normally, if I admitted to having a relationship with a male…or a barren female, I would be punished with a hundred lashes for each recorded coupling and if there was a suitable replacement, I would be expelled from the family."

"How would they know…?"

"The council has a reiatsu connection to all heirs and knows when such behaviors occur."

"What? So they…knew when we…?"

"Yes, the ones on council when we made love would likely have had me whipped and stripped of my title and association with the Kuchiki family. At the time, there was another in the family with sufficient power to replace me. But he was killed in the massacre…and that will make them less likely to seek my removal."

"Shit…" Renji muttered, feeling a little breathless, "You should have told me, Byakuya. I would have understood why it took you so long to come around…I mean…you were literally making a choice between your family and me…and…in the end, you chose me."

They walked on in silence for several minutes, both lost in thought. Then Renji stopped and touched Byakuya's arm to stop him as well.

"You were willing to give up everything for me…really?" he asked softly.

Byakuya paused, his face flushing slightly, then nodded.

He slipped his arms around the noble and kissed him warmly.

"You would have become a peasant like me, just so we could be together. And if you could do that…I won't be any less committed. I will stay with you, Taichou. I won't leave you, even though you have to get married. But…how will we be together?"

"The ones that were on council before are gone and new council members won't have that connection with me. So, they will not have cause to punish me for having been with you. And because of the need for heirs, I will confess my relationship with you to the new council and they will likely negotiate that if I am willing to marry and create an heir, they will allow the dissolution of my marriage after the heir's birth, and will allow you and I to get married. Under normal circumstances, I could have gotten permission to see you discreetly, but would have had to remain married to her."

"Well…it sounds like things will be better for you and me in the long run…but what about your wife? It won't be easy for her, knowing about us…"

"When Hisana died, I indicated a general refusal to remarry at all. It is a matter of record that I am opposed to this marriage and I will be matched with a noble female who is likewise inclined."

"But won't that mean you two will…hate each other? I mean, if you both are entering the marriage under protest…"

"We will be committed to the marriage because of the need to support our families in this time of need. She will not begrudge me the fact that ours is a marriage of convenience. She will want that situation, herself."

Renji shook his head.

"This is crazy, Byakuya. I never would have seen myself even considering something like this…ever. But…if you will understand why I will need to not be in the Seireitei when the two of you get married, then I will agree to stay with you."

"And marry me when I am freed of this obligation?" Byakuya asked, his voice trembling slightly, "I mean…remember that, although we will be separated, she will likely still be there…and you will have to see the baby we made every day. It's a lot to handle, Renji."

The redhead sighed and nodded.

"It is. But I'm willing to do it if it means that soon we'll get to be together openly."

Byakuya's eyes clouded and he sighed softly in relief.

"So despite everything…you can accept everything about me…and you still love me…" he whispered, "I didn't think…"

"Come on," Renji said, kissing him again, "You know I'm fucking crazy about you, right?"

Byakuya yielded him a small smile.

"I do now," he said softly, seeking the redhead's lips again.

They continued to exchange kisses as sounds of victory rose up around them and the streets filled with returning shinigamis. And as their kissing continued, a pair of gentle brown eyes came to rest on them and softened, the lips beneath them, smiling.

"That's so beautiful, isn't it, Risa? I had been told he was a cold man…"

"My lady?" queried the shinigami next to her, pulling her along, "That's scandalous…"

The brown-eyed shinigami smiled at her flustered attendant.

"It's obvious they are very much in love," she said softly, "Who would have thought that Byakuya-sama would be so passionate?"

"But he's…and you…my lady, come. We shouldn't stare…"

The young woman gave a resigned sigh.

"Very well, Risa. We need to have that gash of yours treated at the fourth division."

"I am sorry for my clumsiness, my lady," the attendant said, penitently, "I wish my swordsmanship could match yours."

"Come now, Risa, you did well. I've just had more practice."

The two faded into the crowd, leaving Byakuya and Renji behind…and still very absorbed in each other.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya set the last of the reports in his outbox, leaned back in his chair and sighed softly. He heard Renji's footsteps in the hallway and looked up at the redhead, smiling as he entered the room.

"Here's your tea, Taichou," Renji said, handing him the cup.

Byakuya accepted it and gazed down at it silently.

"You don't have to call me that anymore, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "You've more than earned the right to call me by name."

"I know," said the redhead, meeting his eyes warmly, "but I like to call you that. That's who you are to me…sort of an affectionate word, now."

Byakuya released an amused breath.

"Well, I imagine if it pleases you, then go ahead…but please, at least use my name when we are intimate."

His eyes grew suddenly troubled. Renji shook his head and dropped into the chair next to him. He laced their fingers together and looked down at their joined hands.

"It won't be long before this is over and you and I can be together again…and we still have tonight. And I'm not running away from you or angry this time, Taichou…Byakuya. I will just be in Karakura town while you are being married. I will come back in a couple of weeks…I promise."

Byakuya nodded, but couldn't think of an answer. Renji sighed softly and squeezed his hands.

"Hey, it could have been worse. They did give you a reprieve from the traditional waiting period, because of the state of emergency…"

"Yes…it will be some spectacle…all of the clans gathered for a mass marriage of all eligible unmarrieds. At least I won't be alone in doing this."

"No," Renji agreed, "You won't be alone. And you won't be losing me because of it. You can have some peace knowing that your commitment to your family won't cost you…me."

"My lover…my best friend…and someday, Renji, even more than that."

"That's what I'll be thinking about while I'm away," Renji said, leaning forward and kissing him, "I won't think about what's happening now…just what we'll have after making the sacrifice."

"I don't deserve this, Renji…not at all…"

Renji slipped a hand beneath his chin and raised his eyes.

"Don't say that. You waited for me for two years, thinking that I would never come back. This isn't too much for me to do for you. We're in this together, Byakuya. There's no way that after everything we've already gotten through that we're going to let this stop us. Now, just let go of it. Work hours are over…and the rest of the night, we will only concentrate on each other."

Byakuya managed a small smile and nodded silently. He accepted Renji's hand and let himself be coaxed out of the office and into his quarters. He closed the door quietly behind them, leaning back against it as Renji turned, trapping him against the door and gazing affectionately into the wide gray eyes. Smiling, he brought his lips to the noble's and kissed him lightly, then he kissed Byakuya harder and opened-mouthed, and watched the dark eyes slide closed as the noble's body relaxed into his embrace.

He lifted his dark-haired lover into his arms and walked slowly towards the bed, their lips still locked together. He set Byakuya down at the side of the bed and slipped his fingers into the dark lengths of hair, loosening and removing the kenseiken and setting it on the nightstand. He removed the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu and draped it carefully over a chair, then slid the haori off his shoulders and stood looking at him in the darkness of the room.

"Now…" he said quietly, "You may be the Kuchiki clan leader and a taichou of the Gotei 13 the rest of the time, but tonight you are just my lover, and you belong to me. And soon, we'll belong to each other."

The dark gray eyes met his with a sudden look of desperation.

"Renji…I don't know if I can do this…"

"What, make love with me?" Renji asked, frowning.

"No…_this_…this marrying to produce heirs…having sex with someone other than you. I don't know if I can."

Renji smiled and shook his head gently.

"Sure you can."

Byakuya gazed up at him, looking uncertain. Renji laughed softly and brought his face close to the noble's.

"Just close your eyes and think about why you're doing this. It isn't something you want to do…but it will protect the future of your clan…and I want your clan to be protected as much as you do. That's why I'm going along with this."

Byakuya's eyes locked on his, looking lost and unsettled.

"Renji, something most people don't realize about the noble clans is that while we may have more in the way of material things and privileges, we pay for things by making ourselves servants of the king and the royal family. At any time, we may be called away from our homes to fight on his behalf. They look amongst our sons and daughters for royal consorts and they require us to make physical sacrifices of our bodies to carry our given powers forward. We pay in freedom. We are expected to walk, talk and act as we are told and to be prepared to give anything and everything at the whim of our king. We agree to this, because it is important service, but sometimes we serve our king with a heavy heart."

He sighed and leaned into Renji's shoulder.

"I never told you about my father. He too, was a son of the Kuchiki Clan and because of that, there were expectations. My father was a peaceful man at heart, who loved to work in the gardens at the manor…played music and sang for me…and unlike me, was deeply artistic. Given a choice, he would never have wielded a zanpakutou. But my grandfather pushed him to see to an obligation to serve in the armed forces…to build strength to better serve the king as part of the Gotei 13. My father was talented, but his body wasn't meant to tolerate what battle demands…and one day, he took too much damage in a battle and died as a result. I counted myself lucky to be powerful and to have a stronger body. And I took my place proudly in the Gotei 13, seeking to act on my father's behalf. But I did this with a heavy heart, because I know it wasn't power that meant the most to him. It was me…because my mother died bearing me and I was all he had. He never looked at me the way the others did. He always saw me as I was, not the way I was expected to be. That's why I fell for you. You look at me…not the taichou or the clan leader, but the person. Because no matter what you lay on the surface of a man, he is still the same man underneath. So when you say that I am your lover and that I belong to you tonight…what you are really saying is that no matter what, we already belong to each other. And no expectation…and no demand will take you away from me. And no matter what is required of me, I will not be taken from you. Aishiteru yo…Renji…you have my heart."

"Aishiteru yo, Byakuya," Renji whispered against his lips, "You have my heart, too. Stop worrying now. Let's not waste the time. We're together for tonight and I want to enjoy being with you."

Byakuya nodded silently and let himself relax as the two slowly undressed each other, then stood by the bed, taking in the sight of each other. They breathed in their mingled scents, sakura and fire, then moved closer and claimed each other's lips again. Renji turned him, and eased him down onto his back on the bed, then knelt next to him, gazing down at his body with adoring eyes. A hungry mouth and searching hands began a slow, gentle exploration…and appreciation of every inch of porcelain skin, of every curve and dip, even down to his fingers and toes. Renji's hands and lips touched him everywhere…each touch promising that what was between them could survive this…and anything else.

_I won't lose you…you're not going to leave me. You won't be like the rest. I should have known from the beginning. Because you are nothing like anyone else. You are my lover…and I am yours…now and always._

Byakuya disappeared into the soft, beautiful sensation of being touched…and had no sense of when touching gave way to lovemaking. All he knew was that he loved Renji with every inch of himself and every part of him returned Renji's offerings, touch for touch, kiss for kiss until both were sated and unable to stay awake. Still, he hated to give himself over to sleep. He didn't want the night to end. His eyes finally closed near dawn and a tear rolled down his face. He slept for a time and woke, heartbroken, to find himself alone in his bed.

Renji's scent was still everywhere and Byakuya could still feel the redhead's touch on his skin. He sat up and pulled his knees up to his chest. He rested his head on his folded arms and let the tears fall. A moment later, the bathroom door opened and Renji stepped back into the room. He took one look at his teary-eyed lover and was back at his side in an instant, pulling him close and brushing the dampness from his face.

"I thought you had gone," Byakuya said softly.

Renji shook his head.

"I wouldn't leave you without saying goodbye…besides, a hell butterfly came from your clan, requesting that I attend the meeting of the new councilors with you today. I'll leave after."

"Why would they…?" Byakuya began, startled out of his misery.

"I don't know," Renji said, shrugging, "They only said that I should attend with you. Is that a good thing or a bad thing, Taichou?"

Byakuya only shrugged and gave a slight shake of his head.

"I guess they must know," the redhead said softly.

"I guess they must…"


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: We Meet at Last**

Byakuya ascended the stone steps and entered the Kuchiki Council Hall with Renji at his side. Both were dressed in formal kimonos and were accompanied by Byakuya's personal attendant, a slim, dark eyed, youthful cousin, who followed the tradition of service to the Kuchiki clan leader. Also dressed in a formal kimono, the youth followed the clan leader and his lover into the council chambers and took a seat near the two at the head of the table. They sat quietly, waiting as the councilors filed into the chambers and took their seats.

Byakuya's face was a mask of calm. He studied the faces of the councilors with a serene gaze, only registering surprise at the arrival of a very familiar looking brown-eyed woman. She followed Akio into the room, her attendant a silent shadow in her wake. She wore a lovely white kimono with a pattern of light and dark pink blossoms. Her loosed, black hair fell in a sea of dark waves down her back and was much longer than he would have expected. Several long curls drifted down over her fine features, giving her a carefree look. She did not look in his direction, but took a seat beside the newly appointed head elder.

"Look," whispered Renji, very softly in his ear, "It's your favorite clumsy noblewoman."

Byakuya gave him a look of gentle reproach.

"She's likely going to be his wife. Several of the younger councilors are marrying along with me."

He gestured to where several other noblewomen sat beside some of the new councilors.

"Some of them don't look old enough to get married," commented the redhead.

"Some who were just less than old enough were given waivers."

"Taichou…that's…"

"One of the vagaries of nobility…being asked to grow up too soon," Byakuya said, gazing sadly at one of the too young faces.

They fell silent as Akio stood to address the council.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the council, we gather too soon after the last appointment of councilors, stepping into shoes we cannot hope to properly fill, but determined to move forward. Our house, once the largest and strongest of the four great noble houses, has been reduced in number and power, but not in resolve. We will convene our first council tonight and set our feet on the path to recovery. And as we move forward, many here will give of themselves to renew our ranks…to fill our smaller households with the joy of young children…heirs to carry on the great traditions of our clan. Tomorrow, we will gather in the celebration grounds and conduct the largest mass marriage in known history. Leading us in this endeavor will be our leader and head of household, Byakuya-sama. It is to be noted that he enters marriage with hesitance, but that he is committed, as are we all, to see to his obligations on behalf of the family. Byakuya-sama, our council commends your willingness to give of yourself to the family. We understand that you wish to speak to the council regarding your marriage."

Byakuya stood.

"I thank you all, first for accepting the appointment to our council and secondly for hearing my concerns. Let me assure this council that I have every intention of offering myself to the task of bringing forth heirs and that I enter this endeavor in agreement that it is what I must do to provide for the needs of our family. I wish to enter this arrangement with a clear conscience."

Renji noticed suddenly, the weight that seemed to hang in the air…

"I must confess to the council that for the past several years…"

Byakuya paused and took a slow breath.

"For the past several years, my heart has been devoted to a single person, one who would not, under normal standards, be allowed to marry me, but one my heart has chosen to love. I had been clear with the council about my decision not to remarry after the death of my wife…but as I have learned to love again…my resistance to such a union with this person has disappeared. Tonight, I will take my leave of my lover and see to the obligation set before me…and in return, I humbly beg the council to reward my efforts by allowing my lover and I to marry once my obligation to the family is done. The person I wish to marry is powerful, decisive, and fiercely protective. In a hostile environment, like that which ours has become, my lover is a shelter from the ones who would do me harm. In a heartfelt show of grace and devotion, my lover has accepted what I must do and asks only of this council that we be allowed to marry once the heir is born. I understand that this might be distressing to the one who would bear my child, but I ask it even so, because my heart is resolved to love this one person…and no other. I offer myself to the council for punishment, if it is so desired…but I will not turn away from the one who I love…I have given my heart to Abarai Renji. I freely admit that I have given myself to him on four occasions…and I accept the weight of the punishment for my actions."

He walked to the center of the silent chamber and knelt, allowing his attendant to bare him to the waist. He knelt in silence under the shocked eyes of the councilors, waiting as footsteps sounded in the deep silence and someone approached him from behind.

"Byakuya-sama," said Akio, breaking the silence, "the council is grateful to you for both your willingness to serve our family's needs and the fact that you are also willing to go to painful lengths to do so. And while your disobedience in loving outside of bounds is of concern…none among us can argue with what we witnessed on the battlefield. The strength and commitment of this one who you love was plain to all of us as the two of you fought alongside each other under the most difficult of conditions. Prior to this first official meeting, our council met to discuss this and has decided, in honor of his commitment to your protection and in acknowledgement for his sacrifice in standing aside and accepting your marriage, our council will offer Abarai Renji the honor of a position as personal guard to our clan leader. This is why we have called him to this council."

Akio paused, moving forward and resting a hand on Byakuya's bared shoulder.

"This council also included in our meeting the one chosen to be your wife…and at her request, we are willing to do three things. First, we are willing to forgo our responsibility to punish our leader for his misconduct. Your fiancé has successfully argued that in light of your commitment to our family and your heroic efforts on the battlefield, your disobedience should be set aside."

Byakuya's eyes narrowed as the brown-eyed woman he had seen the day before, moved to a place in front of him and gazed down at him, a gentle smile playing over her lips.

"Secondly," the Head Elder continued, "she has convinced this council to allow your relationship with Abarai Renji to continue after an heir is conceived…as long as the relationship does not dishonor your wife by being made public at that time. And finally, this council knew of your current relationship and suspected that you would request permission to marry Abarai Renji. We gave much consideration to this, and have rendered the decision that, despite the fact that your marriage to such a person would normally not be allowed, as you have put your duty to our family first, and your fiancé has no objections, you will be allowed to dissolve your marriage upon the birth of your heir and marry Abarai Renji."

Byakuya remained kneeling and silently gazing up into the noblewoman's laughing eyes as his attendant returned to him and set his clothing back in place.

"It seems it is time for me to return the favor and offer you a hand this time," the woman said, extending her hand.

Byakuya accepted the proffered hand and came to his feet.

"Arigato," he said quietly, "for your hand…and for your intercession on our behalf. I am grateful to you, both for agreeing to serve our family by accepting my hand in marriage and for assisting us in securing permission to continue our association. I am, however, curious to know exactly who you are…and why you are so supportive of my relationship with Renji."

The woman's dark brown eyes took on a more somber expression and she nodded.

"It seems we have much to discuss, Byakuya-sama. I will go so far as to offer you my name and lineage here, then we may discuss the rest in private, after this meeting of council is concluded."

Byakuya nodded.

"My name is Tsukino Seijun. I am the second child and eldest daughter of Tsukino Koji. In addition to being of noble birth, my father is a member of the royal guard. I was, until recently, living in the spirit dimension, but was sent as part of an entourage of eligible noble men and women of the spirit dimension, to assist in the repopulation of our noble houses. I was offered the honor of becoming your wife and would like this council to note my official acceptance of that offer."

"Tsukino Seijun," Byakuya said, inclining his head, "We are pleased to note the acceptance of our offer…and we welcome you into the Kuchiki family."

Akio opened his mouth to speak, but released his breath in a horrified gasp as the council doors were suddenly blown off their hinges and a group of hooded men flash stepped into the room, brandishing swords and moving to attack Byakuya and the councilors.

Byakuya called Senbonzakura into his hand and placed himself between the incoming group of assassins and his fiancé. He heard a blade slip free of its sheath and glanced at Seijun, then moved slightly to give her room to fight. He was vaguely aware of Renji and his attendant drawing their weapons and moving in defense of the clan leader and his intended. As the first assassin's blade crossed his, Byakuya forced the rogue's blade down and quickly ran him through. Seijun's blade flashed in the air at his side, taking out a second assassin and then bracing for more.

Byakuya blocked a second strike and sent the assassin tumbling away, then fired a blast of kido, felling an attacker who had been approaching Akio from behind. Renji placed himself at Byakuya's back, fending off another assassin as Risa and Byakuya's attendant placed themselves on either side of the clan leader and his fiancé and held themselves ready. As they slashed at another group of incoming attackers, there was a flash of malevolent kido and the room filled with a noxious gas.

Instantly, Byakuya sheathed his blade and took Seijun off her feet, calling for Renji to follow as he flash stepped for the door. Renji grabbed Risa and Byakuya's attendant and flash stepped after. As they passed through the door, two more attackers leapt at them. Byakuya fired a blast of kido, sending them crashing to the floor, then flew down the stone steps and set Seijun down at the base.

"Renji…stay here and make sure that no one harms these three while I go back and see to the defense of the councilors."

The redhead shook his head.

"With all due respect, sir, as your protector, I will be the one to defend the councilors. You have to preserve yourself and your lady."

He flash stepped away, leaving Byakuya staring after him. He felt a hand on his arm and looked down into Seijun's determined eyes.

"You should go with him," she suggested, "Risa and I can hold our own."

Byakuya shook his head and continued to scan the area for more attackers.

"Renji was correct. It is his duty to defend the councilors and us. I trust he will do that capably."

But he couldn't take his eyes off of the building or slow his heart…or break his mind away from the fact that Renji had gone back inside. Injured councilors began to emerge from the building, a few carrying unconscious attendants and spouses. They gathered with Byakuya and Seijun at the base of the stairs, waiting breathlessly for the emergence of the others. A collective gasp burst from them as another explosion rocked the building. Moments later, Akio burst out of the building calling to Byakuya.

"Byakuya-sama! Part of the council chamber has collapsed. Abarai Renji has finished off the last of the assassins, but he is trapped in the debris!"

"Stay with my fiancé," he told Akio as he flash stepped away.

He raced up the stairs and back into the smoky council chambers. As he entered the room, he spotted a lone assassin, leaning over Renji, his weapon sweeping down toward the unconscious redhead. A flash step later, Senbonzakura stopped the descending blade and sent the assassin tumbling away. He crashed into the wall and sank to the floor. Byakuya knelt beside Renji, throwing debris aside and slowly working him free. As he pulled the redhead free, he heard a flash step and sensed an incoming attack. Before he could move, he sensed another flash step and a sword crossed the one bearing down on him. He looked up in surprise as Tsukino Seijun sent the assassin to the floor again and turned to help with Renji.

"I told you to stay outside, where it is safe," he said, leaning over the injured redhead.

Seijun smiled at him.

"My apologies," she said, keeping her eye on the unconscious assassin, "I must not have heard you."

"Go, I can manage."

"I go where you go, Byakuya-sama," she said quietly, "Now, bring him and let's get out of here."

Byakuya's eyes flared, but he lifted Renji and started toward the door. When they were still several steps away, they heard a cackle of laughter behind them.

"Go ahead…and try to run," growled the injured assassin, spitting blood and holding up an explosive device, "You won't be fast enough. This building is coming down…"

Before they could draw another breath, the device exploded in the assassin's hand, blossoming outward and heading toward the escaping trio. Byakuya dropped to his knees, pulling Seijun down with him and covering her body and Renji's with his. His shielding flared around them as fiery debris rained down on it, hissing against the protective barrier and shaking the floor beneath them. Smaller explosions triggered by the destruction of the building continued to rumble through and more debris struck the shield. Beneath the shield, Byakuya used kido to light the area and leaned over Renji again.

"Are you all right?" he asked Seijun.

The woman nodded.

"I'm fine, thanks to your swift action, Byakuya-sama, but it seems we are trapped here."

"We'll manage," Byakuya said, "but I will need your assistance."

"What can I do?" Seijun asked, brushing the limp curls away from her eyes.

"I am going to fire a kido blast in this direction. As soon as I do, I need you to raise the strongest shielding you can along the way that I will open. Run…and don't stop, until we are free of the building."

Seijun's face paled slightly, but she nodded. Renji stirred and groaned.

"Ah…shit, this hurts…"

"Watch your language in the presence of my fiancé," Byakuya said, a hint of affection in his voice, "That's not fitting talk around a lady."

"He hasn't really regained his senses yet," offered Seijun, smiling.

"That's no excuse."

"Someone want to tell me what the…what's going on?" asked Renji, swaying as he sat up.

"We're about to get out of here," Byakuya said, lifting the dizzy redhead and holding him close.

He raised his reiatsu, then glanced at Seijun. She nodded and moved closer to Byakuya and Renji.

"Hado #63, Soren Soukatsui!"

Twin blasts of blue fire shot from the noble's hands, shattering the shield and opening a pathway ahead of them. Almost immediately, debris began to pound down again, but Seijun's shielding rose up ahead of them and the three flash stepped forward.

"Hurry!" she cried, "I don't think it will hold for long!"

The ground beneath them shook violently and pieces of the failing building crashed down around them, bouncing off the shielding, but making ominous cracks. They reached the front steps as the shielding gave way and flew down, landing roughly beneath some nearby trees and turning back to watch the final stages of the doomed building's destruction.

"Byakuya-sama," Seijun said, still managing to smile, "Is every day with you to be so exciting?"

"Hmm," mused the noble, kneeling next to a recovering Renji, "Let us hope not…"


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: The Bonding**

A somewhat disheveled and ash smudged Byakuya led an equally rumpled Seijun and Renji to their guestrooms at the manor. They stopped first at Renji's.

"Oh…Taichou, that's kind of you, considering what happened, but…I was planning to leave for Karakura Town after the meeting. I will just stay with Kisuke," Renji said, looking a bit flushed beneath the grime.

"Don't be ridiculous, Abarai," Byakuya said, narrowing his eyes, "You just helped to keep us all alive…"

"Byakuya-sama is right," Seijun said, looking concerned, "And besides, you did lose consciousness."

"At very least, you should take a shower and put on something that's not torn. My attendants will have cleaned the shihakushou you left here when we changed for the council meeting."

"Look…I just…I feel kind of…awkward. I'll feel better if I just go and change back at the division office. Really…it's no problem…"

Seijun stepped forward.

"Abarai-san," she said, her eyes fixing him in place, "I had hoped that you would join Byakuya-sama and me for tea. I did say that I would tell you more about myself…and I confess…I have a favor to ask of you."

"A…favor?" Renji said uncertainly.

"Yes, but we'll get to that after we all shower and change. You…will stay and have tea with us, won't you?"

He fully intended to say 'no' but something in the sparkling brown eyes made him pause and reconsider…and reconsidering led him to think that she _had_ been the one to invite him. If it had been Byakuya, it would have felt more odd, but something in this woman's demeanor made him want to go along with her.

"Well…I guess…if it's okay with Taichou," he said, feeling like someone else was saying the words.

"Of course it is," Byakuya said, "Go on now and clean up, Renji."

He and Seijun watched the redhead slip into the room and close the door. Byakuya felt a sudden knot of tension, being left alone with his fiancé…well, alone except for the two silent attendants who hovered nearby.

"Byakuya-sama…" Seijun said, startling him, "Are you all right?"

"Hmm? Oh…yes, of course," the noble said, turning to lead her down the hallway, "Your room is this way. Come."

Smiling, she followed him to the door, then stopped. Byakuya took her hand and kissed it lightly.

"I will freshen up and meet you on the garden patio," he said quietly.

Seijun nodded and started to release his hand, but Byakuya tightened his hand slightly and she looked up at him questioningly.

"Arigato," he said softly, "This is not an easy situation for any of us…and that you have already indicated support for my relationship with Renji…Seijun…I don't know why you have done this, but I am grateful. You don't even know us, and yet you have made it possible for us to be married someday. This puts me at greater ease. But I do wish to know what is driving your actions. Not that they are not appreciated, but…I wish to understand why…"

Seijun smiled and inclined her head.

"I assure you that I will tell you and Renji all you need to know," she promised.

Byakuya kissed her hand lightly again and released it, then watched her disappear into her room.

He turned back toward his room and passed through the garden doors, closing them behind him. He crossed the room and moved on to the dressing area, where he removed the battered kimono he wore and set it aside to be cleaned and mended. Then he stood quietly in front of the mirror, studying his slender, naked body and wondering how he would convince it to respond to someone besides Renji.

He was going to be married the next day. And before midnight the next night, he would be expected to make love with his new wife. He couldn't wrap his mind around that. He tried to picture himself touching Seijun in a sexual way and a dark feeling of wrongness passed through him. Certainly, she would be soft and would smell lovely as Hisana had, but he wasn't the same person he had been back then. Being with Renji had changed him and changing back was not as easy as deciding to do so.

But there was another side to what was happening. The greatest power of the Kuchiki clan was housed in the slender, bare form that was reflected in his mirror. His body, he realized, didn't just belong to him. It belonged to the king who granted the noble families their privileges. It belonged to the family he led and he was pledged to its care and its continuance. And in the face of what had happened in the past few weeks, he saw the necessity for what was being asked of him. Really, given the powers that the spirit king had gifted him with, he could not allow himself to fail to show his gratitude by serving king and family well.

Even if the definition of service was difficult to stomach…

Renji had managed, not only to understand the necessity, but had been willing to let him go gracefully. He wondered if, perhaps, he had made a mistake by seducing Renji after the redhead tried to leave him. He had just been so desperate to keep the one he had fought so hard to bring back alive in his life.

He shivered softly, thinking how he might have lost Renji permanently. But Seijun had spoken to the new council on his behalf…and the councilors had (likely because they were new to the positions) proven to be reasonable in their thinking. Because of the meeting of his desire, Renji's love, Seijun's intervention and the new council's willingness to see reason, he would soon be freed to marry Renji.

He smiled at the thought…

Before, it hadn't even been a consideration. Before, he worried about the council sensing his lovemaking with the redhead. Now, not only did he have the prospect of a freer association with his lover…Renji would be a fixture in his life.

"Why?" he wondered aloud, "What made her do this?"

He sighed softly and turned away from the mirror. He stepped back across the bedroom and into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stood under the warm water with his eyes closed, trying to imagine how he would feel the next night when he would join Seijun in bed for the making of their child. Try as he might and although he knew there was no avoiding it, he couldn't picture it. So he forced it from his mind and tried to think of that future with Renji. Renji wasn't going to leave him. Renji was going to stay and they were going to be together. He knew that it would be hard for Renji to know he was married to someone else and in someone else's bed, even though it was for the right reasons and only for one night. But although he knew it would be hard, he could very much see Renji loving the small child that was not his. Because Renji was one who always protected the ones younger and weaker than himself. And even though the child would not be his, he would love this little one who was part of his lover. He wouldn't be threatened by Seijun, because he trusted Byakuya and Seijun's reasons for what they were doing.

He wasn't going to lose Renji…

He sighed in relief and forced away a sudden burning of tears. He told himself that there were only a few more difficult steps to take and he resolved to take them without regret. He took a long slow breath and then another. He sank into the warm fall of water and let it wash the worries away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya entered the garden and found Renji waiting and looking much better in the cleaned and pressed shihakushou. He smirked at the fact that it was the neatest his lover's clothes had ever looked. Renji caught the amused expression and rolled his eyes.

"You look wonderful," Byakuya said, forcing his expression to remain serious.

"Yeah, shut up. I know it looks better this way, but some of us don't have an entire staff waiting to serve us, you know. We work late and have to get up early…and aren't so good with an iron…or a needle and thread."

He gave the redhead a tolerant smile and moved closer, speaking so Renji could hear, but the nearby servants could not.

"Well, just think forward to a year or so from now. You are going to be living here and you will have an entire staff waiting to serve you. And they will want to help you to the point that it drives you crazy and you have to insist that you want to do some things yourself. And you'll see them look at you funny and let you, but they will think you are eccentric and you'll have to live with that designation."

He smiled again at the cute expression on Renji's face. Then he was nearly swept off his feet by the redhead's reply.

"That will be fun," he said softly, "but what I'm really looking forward to is waking up next to you every morning."

Byakuya felt an odd throb of dizziness at the suggestion and his heart fluttered.

"You're…really not giving up…you're going to stay…"

Renji turned his head and met his eyes directly.

"I said I would. What? Don't you believe me?" he asked, a lovely smile on his lips.

Byakuya nodded.

"I think I hear the words and my mind registers them, but my heart is more cautious in its optimism. It knows that there is much we have to get through first. But…I do believe you, truly."

They fell silent, turning to watch as Seijun and Risa appeared on the walkway and moved out to join them on the patio. They sat down at the garden table and waited as tea was served, then Seijun paused to gather herself.

"Byakuya-sama, I know you and Abarai-san have questions. I will do my best to explain myself."

She paused again, looking out across the garden.

"I imagine I should start at the beginning. I was born into noble life, as you were, Byakuya-sama, and you know that noble life comes with many expectations…rules…and stiff consequences for those who do not conform. I was the third child and second daughter in my family and, Byakuya-sama will know, though Abarai-san might not, that the position I had in my family virtually decided that I would enter an arranged marriage. I accepted that from the beginning. But I never realized what I would be giving up. I grew older and was approaching the age of marriage…and my father arranged with another noble family that I would marry the other man's son, Keiji. I met him and instantly felt relieved. He was not the stuffy, snobbish person I worried he might be, but a very sweet, dreamy boy, just older than me. But Keiji was hiding something…something he revealed to me, but I swore never to tell. You see, Keiji had a lover already…His name was Ronin. Ronin was the heir of another family of the spirit dimension and promised in marriage before he reached his first year. He and Keiji were swordmates in the king's army. And somehow, during the time they spent together, battling hollows and other threats to our king, the two fell in love with each other."

She paused for a moment, her eyes becoming sad.

"The time came for Ronin to be married. The two agreed that he would go through with the wedding and continue to love each other secretly. His fiancé knew this and had agreed that as long as he made a child with her and treated her well, she would remain silent. But somehow, her father discovered what was between Ronin and Keiji. He turned on Ronin during the wedding and killed him in front of everyone. Keiji, of course, ran to Ronin when he fell and the man raised his sword again to kill my fiancé. My father stopped him. He said that Ronin had been an honorable man…and that he had given up being with the one he loved to obey the rules of his noble family. He said that Keiji had suffered enough and that he was proud that the two had put their feelings aside and had tried not to dishonor their families. Keiji's family disowned him then and there, saying that he was dead to them."

She looked up at Byakuya and Renji and saw the understanding flooding their eyes.

"Keiji and I married soon after. He was beside himself with pain over losing Ronin, but he took shelter in our friendship and slowly, we grew affectionate. We decided to leave the spirit dimension and to come to the Seireitei to join the Gotei 13. We arrived here about a year ago and were assigned to the third division. I was uncomfortable with Ichimaru taichou, but Keiji was very taken with him. It appeared that our taichou returned his affections and soon they were seeing each other secretly. I knew, of course and overlooked it. I was, in a sense, happy he had someone again. But I worried for him. And one night, Keiji did not come back. He was found dead several days later. It was only a week later that our taichou betrayed the Gotei 13."

Seijun stopped again and was instantly touched as two pairs of sympathetic eyes met hers.

"I never learned what happened, but I believe that Keiji learned the truth of what our taichou and Aizen taichou were planning. And being a just man, he probably planned to expose them. I cannot prove anything, of course. I may never know what happened. In any case, after Keiji's death, I returned to my father's house. I remained there until this crisis…then was sent with others to aid in the fighting and to assist the noble families by marrying you. Because they eased the restrictions on noble marriage to encourage childbirth, I was not held back from consideration for that I was not virginal. I was chosen for you despite this, mostly because of my father's position in the royal guard and the content of my noble blood. We were in the midst of deciding the terms of the union when we were called away to fight…the day I ran into you, Byakuya-sama, the day I saw you and Abarai-san kissing."

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"My apologies…"

"Don't apologize," she said quickly, "I was very touched. You see, it reminded me of Keiji and Ronin…and I knew that the two of you must be struggling as they were. So when I returned to meet with your elders, I negotiated terms that would allow you to be together. I had no power to help Keiji. Things were different…"

"But you did help him, I think," observed Byakuya, "and now you help us. But…I wonder…is there more to the story than even that? Will you tell me?"

Seijun smiled and nodded.

"There is someone who has been at my side through everything…someone who was with me when Ronin was killed…when Keiji and I were married…and when Keiji died. We have been friends for years…and after Keiji's death, we realized that we were meant to be more. We have set our relationship aside, as you and Abarai-san have…but we hope that after the heir is born and the marriage is dissolved, you will allow us shelter and the promise of your protection. Our elders, I think, would likely execute us for all of the rules our union breaks. You see…my lover…and best friend…is my attendant, Risa."

Renji barely stifled a startled gasp and Byakuya gazed at her intently, as though seeing her for the first time. Risa continued to sip silently at her tea, but a deep flush rose on her cheeks.

"So you see," Seijun went on, "My motives are somewhat selfish. I know it is my duty to assist in the re-growth of the noble families, but I do not seek a permanent union any more than you do…and I will be in great need of your protection to keep Risa and me safe from any backlash over our love affair. You, of course, have the right to refuse to marry me on the grounds of my breaking of the rules, but I think you won't. I think you will be of a mind to help us as we can certainly help each other."

There was a long pause as Byakuya looked, first at Renji, then at Seijun, then out across the garden.

"You think correctly," he said, in a very soft voice.

Seijun's smile widened.

"Then…you are not angry, Byakuya-sama."

Byakuya shook his head.

"No, I am not angry. We both have much to gain by this. But we also have much to lose if it is not handled correctly. I will give you my protection and shelter in Kuchiki Manor for yourself and Risa, once our marriage is dissolved. And when our marriage is dissolved, I will see to it that you and Risa are given the same allowances as Renji and me."

Risa let out a short, clipped sob and covered her mouth with one hand. Seijun reached out and laid a soft hand on Byakuya's.

"Risa and I are deeply grateful, Byakuya-sama," she said, her eyes damp, "Arigato."

The foursome fell silent for several long minutes and sipped their tea quietly. Finally, Seijun broke the silence.

"Byakuya-sama, I hope you will not mind if Risa takes the part of my maid of honor," she said, meeting his eyes hopefully.

"Oh…of course," said Byakuya, "but are you sure that she wishes this? It might be difficult…"

"Gomen nasai, Kuchiki-sama," said Risa in a timid voice, "I have no qualms. I am content to do this."

Byakuya nodded in acquiescence.

"And will Abarai-san be attending you as your best man?" asked Seijun.

Byakuya's lips parted and he paused, trying to find the words.

"Yeah," said Renji, making the noble's words disappear before he could say them, "I wouldn't miss _this_ noble wedding…not for _anything_."

Byakuya bit his lower lip to hide his smile.

"It seems we are decided, then," he said softly.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: Prepared to Serve**

Byakuya stood quietly as his attendant pored over him, looking carefully to make sure everything was in place. The kenseiken sat, perfectly placed in his glossy, black hair and not a stitch of his formal kimono was out of place. He was calm inside, the reality of what was happening, present and quietly accepted, then discarded in favor of thinking about the next day, the next week…sometime after that night…sometime when he could draw breath again…

"They are ready for you, Kuchiki-sama," said another servant from the doorway.

He nodded and turned out of the dressing area, then went out to meet his escort at the garden doors. He dared not look at Renji directly, because as calm as he appeared, there was a torrent racing beneath his skin, some part of him still refusing to accept what he was about to do. Still…there was no choice, so the internal screaming was forced down and made to disappear, leaving him surface unruffled and able to put one foot in front of the other.

Renji bowed and took his hand, turning him onto the walkway and doing his part as guardian, meant to see that he reached the ceremony site on time and ready to be given away. The returning thought sent a soft quiver through him. He took a breath and released it slowly, closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Renji's hand touching his.

They moved forward, passing down the walkway, surrounded by attendants and house security, moving through the entry and out into the streets. Byakuya took a short, surprised breath at the sight of so many shinigamis, noble and not, waiting along the pathway and gazing at him as he passed. The genuine affection and admiration in their eyes made some of his anxiousness fade.

They understood then…the price he was willing to pay, the price that all of them were paying to see to the care and keeping of the king's noble families. They knew the sacrifice that all involved in the ceremony were facing and they appreciated the gesture. He felt calm settle over him as their emotion reached through his own and helped him to both breath and to move forward.

They reached the Noble's Grand Hall and passed through the doors, heartened by the sight of hundreds of others, gathered in pretty, planned pairs, waiting as the Kuchiki clan leader took his place at the head of the group. The elders of each noble house stood at the head of the room, their power already flaring around them and ready to pour it into the couples who would set the houses on the way to restoration.

Renji stopped at the appointed place and waited. There was a pause as the crowds around them settled and the security shield around them was closed. There was, of course, need for added protection, considering this was a gathering of the bulk of the child-bearing population of nobles. An attack now would break the back of the noble families and shatter their future altogether. Every precaution was being taken to protect them.

A door nearby opened and there was a whisper of silk as Seijun was led in by her entourage and she and Risa took their places opposite Renji and Byakuya. As was customary, they did not make eye contact, but bowed their heads and closed their eyes as the power of the elders rose around them.

The head elder of each clan moved forward and together said a prayer of fertility and prosperity for the couples to be joined. They passed quietly among the couples, touching each lightly and sending their power inside to heighten the ability of the newlyweds to conceive and to offer a personal blessing to each union.

Byakuya heard the words of an ancient language being spoken and felt a nervous twinge at the words and prayers of joining. He kept his eyes lowered, but he felt Renji's eyes several times as the words spoke of the elders' gratitude for their honor, their dedication and their willingness to give of their bodies to restore the clans.

A shiver went through him as the prayer of bonding was read, as the head elders moved through the room, binding the hands of each new couple. He caught his breath as his hand was gently bound to Seijun's and when instructed to do so, finally raised his eyes to meet hers. His heart raced softly beneath his breath as he realized that the lovely brown eyes that looked back at him were as desperate and anxious as his. Although calm and regal at the surface, she too trembled softly as they were joined as husband and wife. The feeling that went through him was indescribable. There wasn't, of course, romantic love there, but there was affection and promised dedication of purpose on both their parts. And the eyes of Renji and Risa promised that the two joined would not be alone in their efforts.

Too soon, the couples were turned to face the gallery and their names were proudly read. Byakuya and Seijun's was the first called and they proceeded down the center aisle, under the appreciative eyes of the crowd and the crush of applause. Couple by couple, the pairs filed out and turned toward the grounds of each noble family for their celebrations. The afternoon disappeared into speeches, music and general liveliness, but Byakuya felt a weight descending on him.

He was married again…

Seijun met his eyes as they were led into their first dance, as they busied themselves with the revelry around them. Her expression was warm and calming. But as the afternoon turned into evening and they bade farewell to their guests, the weight increased. He stood quietly, watching as the last guests filed out the door and the attendants, led by Renji and Risa guided the married couple to the bedroom door. Renji and Risa set the newlywed's hands in each other's and stepped away as the doors were opened and Byakuya and Seijun stepped inside.

The doors closed behind them.

He stood quietly, with his hand in hers as attendants entered the room and quietly undressed the two, leaving each relieved of everything but a simple yukata. The attendants smiled at them and wished them good luck in their efforts, then turned quietly and left the newlyweds alone.

Byakuya sighed softly, feeling suddenly alone. He knew he should move or say something, but his body was frozen and his heart had stopped beating. All was silent and still and her eyes were fastened on him.

"Byakuya-sama," Seijun said, her hand squeezing his gently.

His lips tightened, but he nodded and turned her toward the bed. They stopped beside it and calmly stripped away the last of their clothing, then slipped beneath the covers and turned into each other's arms.

Byakuya gazed down at the finely carved features of her face, the olive colored skin, loosened curls and long, dark, tumbled hair, the long graceful throat and full, round breasts. She was, of course, a very lovely woman, both inside and out, and Byakuya felt lucky to have been paired with her. Given that she had done so much to smooth the path for Renji and him, he was committed to seeing that Seijun and Risa also, would have the peace of contentment that they had helped Byakuya and Renji to win. But that required sacrifice…

He felt her eyes on him and the soft, light touch of her hand on his face. He took a breath and moved forward, gracing her lips with a tentative kiss. And immediately, that feeling of wrongness swept over him, this time with staggering force. His heart raced and his head spun. Her hand settled on his cheek and she lifted her head to meet his lips again. Byakuya accepted the kiss quietly, but felt body, mind and heart rebelling. His anxiousness deepened and he felt panic beginning to take hold. She kissed him again, more firmly, but he had frozen and couldn't respond to the gesture. He closed his eyes against the heavy weight of failure and swallowed hard.

He couldn't force himself to move. He was frozen in his new wife's arms and unable to move or speak. He heard her voice again and turned away, lifting himself and sitting on the edge of the bed, unable to understand her words and too deeply entrenched in his emotions to respond.

For a time, he lost track of what was happening around him. He was drawn down inside himself, trying to force reason to overcome his instincts. It should have been easy, given the knowledge that this was the only way to secure a future for himself and Renji. It was a small sacrifice in the face of that simple fact. At least, it should have been a small sacrifice.

But it didn't feel small anymore…

A weight settled onto the bed behind him and warm, calloused hands wrapped around him. He caught his breath in surprise and it registered that Seijun and Risa now stood naked at the end of the bed…and Renji knelt behind him, arms wrapped around and his lips pressed against the noble's throat. He shivered and felt his cheeks burn, but a moment later gave a soft, relieved sigh and let himself be pulled back into the bed. Renji remained behind him, his hands warming Byakuya's skin and slowly reviving him. Seijun smiled and climbed onto the bed, facing him. Then Risa moved in behind her, her white hands touching Seijun and offering the same comfort that Renji's were offering him. He met Seijun's eyes with gratitiude.

"Byakuya-sama," she said softly, "I hope that you are not angry. I thought that we could both use some reassurance. And, in any case, since the four of us will be raising this child together, it only seemed right that your Renji and my Risa should be a part of our child's creation."

The smile that touched the noble's lips was genuine.

"I am not angry, Seijun," he said quietly, "I am grateful."

His heart still quivered as he leaned forward and brought his mouth to hers, but the contact was firmer and more intense. Renji's hands brushed the hair away from his throat and he pleasured the noble's skin with kisses, light nips and long, slow licks, his hands exploring him freely, as Risa's movements sent a shiver of arousal through Seijun and her hands tightened on Byakuya. And this time, her touch triggered a response in his body. He caught his breath as Renji reached down and wrapped a hand around his length, slowly moving up and down as he bit down on the noble's shoulder. Byakuya's body shook softly and he made a sound of pleasure and let his arms curl around his wife, pulling her closer and enjoying the soft brushes of her skin against his. Risa's hands slid up her mistress's slim body, teasing her nipples gently, then, tentatively sliding between her body and Byakuya's and teasing his as well.

It still felt somewhat wrong, but with Renji behind him, kissing and licking his throat and thrusting his hardened member against his back, with Seijun's mouth on his and Risa's hands touching the two of them…the weight that had held him back suddenly shattered and his body filled with warmth again. He smiled against his wife's lips and sank more deeply into kissing her. Seijun wrapped her arms around him and met his kisses eagerly, her dark eyes alive and wanting.

The heat rose deliciously between them…

Renji eased his body back against the pillows and pulled Byakuya along with him, holding the noble against him continuing to thrust against his back. His hand released the noble's length and reached down lower, teasing the soft sac and his tight entrance as Seijun lowered herself between Byakuya's thighs and brushed her lips along his hardened arousal. He caught his breath sharply as Renji's fingers pushed into him and his wife's mouth wrapped around his cock and sank down on him. His breath left him again in a moan of delight as Seijun's mouth and Renji's fingers pleasured him. The heat rose up inside him now and he writhed warmly under their touches. He opened his eyes and watched, entranced as Seijun continued to suck at his throbbing cock, while Risa stroked her breasts and slipped her fingers into the noblewoman's passion-slicked entrance. Seijun moaned, send a shock of heat through him and pushing him closer to the edge. He shivered against Renji's body and, realizing he was close, Renji touched Seijun lightly on the shoulder and nodded.

Seijun lifted herself and moved forward, straddling Byakuya's body. Risa took hold of his length and held it in place as her mistress lowered herself onto it. Seijun settled one hand on Byakuya's chest, while the other slipped back behind her and moved down between Risa's parted thighs. Byakuya and Seijun began to move against each other, and their movements in turn triggered moans and sighs from the bodies that moved with them.

Renji curled a hand around his lover's round buttock, encouraging the hard upward thrusts into Seijun's writhing form. The fingers of his other hand laced together with one of Byakuya's and he felt the noble's hand tighten as his pleasure began to peak. Byakuya gave a hard gasp and emptied himself in hot pulses into Seijun, who moaned loudly and fell forward onto his chest, her body shaking and damp with sweat. Risa settled against her back, her hands now working to calm and soothe.

The four remained locked together for several minutes, then Risa and Seijun lifted themselves and Byakuya and Renji sat up, the four of them slowly regaining their breath.

"Byakuya-sama," Seijun said, smiling cutely, "I think that now that we have seen to our duty and our pleasure, we should show our gratitude to our lovers. I see that Renji needs your attentions and Risa likely needs mine as well."

The two women settled on the lower end of the bed, gently pleasuring each other with light touches as Byakuya turned in Renji's arms and offered his lover a heavy, penetrating kiss. Renji moaned in anticipation as Byakuya worked his way down the redhead's body, treating it with hard kisses, long, slow licks and gentle bites. He paused as he reached the redhead's flushed, leaking member, smiling at the desperately hungry look in Renji's eyes.

"He doesn't look as though he'll last much longer," Seijun laughed, "Be merciful, my husband, don't torment him too much!"

Risa giggled and leaned back, sighing happily as Seijun slipped her fingers inside her and teased her breasts, their eyes still turned to the two male lovers who shared the bed with them.

Byakuya smiled affectionately as Renji turned him and brought him down onto his back. The redhead's hands worked impatiently to prepare him and the two women giggled again.

"Look there," Seijun said to Risa, "He's made the poor man desperate."

"Stop that!" snapped Renji, "You're distracting me."

"So sorry," laughed Seijun, looking much less than penitent, "Please continue, Abarai-san."

Shaking his head, Renji pushed his fingers into Byakuya and hooked his fingers, making the noble cry out sharply and arch upward. He fell on his lover's open mouth, biting down and then opening again and sinking his tongue deep inside. His fingers hooked again and Byakuya arched his back and cried out again. Renji stroked his awakening arousal and moved in between his lover's parted thighs. He entered Byakuya in short, careful thrusts, then paused, catching his breath and feeling already like he was about to climax. He lowered himself onto Byakuya, meeting his eyes warmly and thrusting into him.

Seijun and Risa fell silent, watching and smiling as the two males locked eyes and thrust heavily against each other. Renji's heated mouth found the noble's again and he plunged into a bout of hard, deep kisses, his hips pounding hard against his lover's, making the noble's body quiver against his and bringing both to the brink of mad pleasure. They crested the wave together, moaning and gasping against each other's lips and falling still as hot seed filled Byakuya and pulsed out onto their skin. They settled into a flurry of softer kisses, breathing more deeply and slowly as their passion gradually retreated.

"You look beautifully happy together," Seijun said softly, her hands still pleasuring a nearly incoherent Risa, "I think we did the right thing, Byakuya-sama."

"I would have to agree," responded the noble, gazing happily up into Renji's warm, sated eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: Small Steps Forward**

It was still somewhat dark when Byakuya felt an uncomfortable pitching sensation in his stomach and his head began to ache fiercely. He calmed his mind and tried to breathe through the sensation, thinking it was likely the dregs of his anxiety, or perhaps his uncharacteristic indulgence in spirits at the reception to quell the feeling of wrongness about what he was doing. Whatever it was, the feeling, rather than dissipating, grew stronger and more urgent, until he could stand it no longer.

He untangled himself from Renji and rolled to his feet, leaving the redhead yawning and muttering incoherently somewhere behind him. He flash stepped to the bathroom and loosed everything, regretting his poor judgment in using alcohol to deal with emotional angst. It wasn't, he thought now, worth the result, and he promised himself that it would not happen again.

He fell back and moved until the wall was at his back, then sat quietly, breathing slowly and trying to stop the spinning feeling in his head. He heard Renji in the doorway, but was forced to delay his response, due to another intense swell of nausea.

"Damn, Byakuya," Renji said, smiling sympathetically, "you shouldn't have had all of that…"

"Shut up, Abarai," the noble managed, holding his midsection, "If you've come here to criticize, then get out."

"Hey, don't get angry. I'm not here to criticize. I wanted to make sure you were all right," Renji said, sliding down next to him.

He watched, shaking his head and smiling affectionately as Byakuya leaned forward, retching and gasping, and still holding his abdomen.

"Sheesh, Taichou, alcohol really doesn't agree with you. You want me to go get a healer?"

Byakuya fell back against the wall again, shaking his head, then wincing and rubbing his eyes.

"Kami no…just…just some ginger tea."

"Sure thing, Taichou."

"Renji?"

"Hai, Taichou?"

"After what we did last night, it's extremely inappropriate for you to speak to me so formally. In private, please don't call me that…"

Renji couldn't quite stifle an evil snicker.

"Aww, Byakuya, you were cute! And that wife of yours…she sure surprised the hell outta me, that's for damned sure!"

The noble was surprised to find that, despite the illness making his skin even more pale than usual, he could still blush.

"Get out of here, Abarai!" he snapped, pushing the redhead away, "Go and get that tea!"

"Ugh, someone's in a really foul mood. Fine…tea…anything else?" Renji asked, getting up and turning away.

Byakuya sighed uncomfortably and rested his face in his hands.

"N-no…just…go away!"

Renji started towards the door.

"Nice! Well, I think there will be no more drinking and sex parties for you…"

"Abarai!" the noble hissed ferociously.

"Just kidding," Renji laughed, "Stay there. I'll be right back."

"As though I could move…"

"Yeah," sighed Renji playfully, "Last night was something. Never thought I'd do something like that. Would've thought I'd be way too jealous…but it would be odd to be jealous of your wife…"

"Abarai…please get away from me. I'm sick enough as it is…"

"Whew," Renji went on, "after that, I'd be surprised if _I_ didn't end up pregnant. I knew you had a lot of energy, but…"

"I swear that if you don't get away from me now, I _am_ going to kill you, Abarai!" Byakuya snapped.

Renji chuckled good-naturedly and flash stepped away. He returned a short time later to find the noble collapsed and sleeping on the bathroom floor. Shaking his head sympathetically, he lifted Byakuya into his arms and carried him back to bed. As he was lifted, Byakuya opened his eyes and blinked several times to bring the offending 'lifter' into focus.

"What are you doing? Put me down. I can walk on my own."

"I know that," Renji said, smiling warmly, "but I like holding you in my arms."

He paused by the bed for a moment, looking into the noble's dark eyes and thinking.

"I missed you while I was gone…while I was missing."

Byakuya's eyes softened.

"I thought you didn't remember…"

"Maybe I didn't remember you," the redhead said quietly, "but there was a huge empty space where you were supposed to be. That's what I mean, when I say that I missed you."

Byakuya sighed and let his head drop onto Renji's shoulder.

"I knew who I was missing," he said softly, "and every day you were gone, I cursed myself for not telling you how much I wanted you. I hated myself for not opening up to you sooner. I could have saved us so much pain. Renji…if I hadn't been so afraid to tell you…then you wouldn't have left at all…wouldn't have ended up with that monster inside you…and Aizen and Gin wouldn't have…Renji, no one should have his first time be like that. I'm sorry. I was an idiot."

Renji set him back on his feet and took his face in both hands.

"Don't worry, Byakuya," he said, looking deeply into the noble's dark gray eyes, "You are definitely worth the trouble. And even with all we have had to go through…remember…if things hadn't happened the way they did, we wouldn't have the chance to be together at all. Your elders would never have considered letting us get married. Not everything that happened was bad. And now, we have our future together to look forward to."

"We'll have to be cautious," Byakuya said quietly, "Remember that their willingness to allow this depends on our discretion. We cannot allow others to know what is between us, for now. Soon enough, the heir will be born and I will be free to be with you openly."

Renji smiled and nodded.

"I'm looking forward to that," he whispered, leaning forward to kiss him.

"I am also," Byakuya agreed, releasing Renji and sliding back into bed.

He picked up the tea and sipped at it. He looked up as a servant tapped on the door.

"Kuchiki-sama," he said softly, "Seijun-san asked me to tell you that she and Risa-san are waiting in the garden…for breakfast, sir."

Renji laughed softly.

"I think Kuchiki-sama is not feeling well enough to eat."

"Nonsense," said Byakuya, sliding to the edge of the bed, "I'm feeling better already. In any case, I have to get up to prepare for a taichou's meeting."

Renji shook his head.

"Soutaichou's a real slavedriver. He knows you were married last night…"

"Hai, but the Seireitei is in shambles. We meet this morning to discuss the rebuilding of the damaged areas and the setting of our new defenses. I assure you…it is an important meeting. There will be delegates from the royal and noble families there."

"So you're probably not the only newlywed being dragged away to this…"

"No," Byakuya said, "There are, in fact, quite a few others."

He moved toward the dressing area and turned back in surprise as Renji waved the servant off.

"Abarai, what are you doing?" he asked, staring.

"I'm going to help you dress," the redhead said, picking up Byakuya's hakama.

Byakuya shook his head and sighed, but quietly allowed Renji to come closer. As the redhead set his clothes in place, he turned his head and captured his lover's warm lips.

"Arigato, Renji," he said softly, "for everything…for staying with me…for not leaving me again. I don't want to know what it is to live without you anymore."

"Shh, Bya," Renji whispered against his lips, "You never will."

XXXXXXXXXX

Seijun's lips curved into a smile as Byakuya stepped onto the garden patio and took her hand, lifting it and gracing it with a delicate kiss.

"Good morning, Seijun," he added softly.

His wife's brown eyes twinkled brightly.

"Good morning, Byakuya-sama," she replied, "I understand from your attendant that you did not look well this morning, but I see that he must have exaggerated."

"No, not really," laughed Renji, "I can assure you, he looked lousy this morning…when he even woke up!"

Byakuya's eyes narrowed and his reiatsu pulsed warningly.

"I'll thank you to keep your silly observations to yourself, Abarai. Do not annoy my wife with needless worry."

"Sorry, Taichou," Renji said, turning to look at Seijun, "And not to worry, Seijun-san. I sorted him out."

"I see," said the noblewoman, her smile widening, "and you feel better now, my husband?"

"I am fine," he assured her, taking the seat next to her.

Renji dropped into the seat between Byakuya and Risa, sighing happily as the servants set out breakfast for the group. A smile crept onto his face at the sight of Byakuya, closing his eyes against a soft pang of nausea and taking only tea and toast.

"I see our schedule is filled with appointments," Seijun said, sipping at her tea.

"Hai," Byakuya said, nodding, "After my taichou's meeting, I will return here to prepare for the newlyweds' luncheon. Our public presentation will be right after that…then we must return home to have afternoon tea and then dinner with our family and guests who are staying at the manor."

Seijun nodded.

"I hope there will be time for a walk after breakfast," she said quietly, "It is pleasantly cool today, a nice morning for a walk out to the waterfall, ne?"

"That sounds lovely," Byakuya said, nodding.

The four fell to eating and enjoying the cool morning air and fresh smells of the garden. As they finished, the table was cleared and they rose and made their way out the back gate. They moved onto the forest path, Byakuya and Seijun slightly in front, Renji at the noble's left shoulder and Risa a step behind Seijun. Morning birds chirped merrily in the trees and soft sakura petals floated in the air around them.

"This place is so beautiful, Byakuya-sama," Seijun said happily, "It is the only place in the Seireitei that reminds me so strongly of the spirit dimension."

"I believe one's home should be a place of peace and comfort, wherever it might be."

They reached the cliff above the waterfall and stood near the edge, looking out over the pretty blue lake, across the green sea of long, windswept grasses and off to the border of the property, beyond which they could see the movement of the workers, assigned the daunting task of repairing the damaged buildings and walls.

"It's amazing," said Risa in a soft voice, "how quickly they make the damage disappear. Soon, you won't be able to tell what happened by looking there."

"But the reminders of our losses are all around," Seijun sighed, taking Risa's hand, "and the healing of our hearts is likely to take much longer. It is important, then, to take comfort in the small blessings."

She turned to Byakuya.

"The clan healers were at my door waiting this morning. The council was anxious to confirm the conception of an heir."

"I see," the noble said, slipping a hand into hers, "And?"

Seijun smiled hopefully.

"And I think that you will be happy to know that we were, indeed, successful in our efforts," she said softly.

Byakuya's eyes closed for a moment and a tentative smile found its way onto his lips. He squeezed her hand gently.

"I am, of course, pleased to hear this."

He kissed her gently on the forehead.

"I am so grateful that you were chosen for me, Seijun. Even though we were not meant to be lovers, we were meant, I think, to love each other. You have given Renji and me the chance to be together…"

"And you have allowed the same for Risa and me," Seijun responded, squeezing his hand again.

"This home that we share," Byakuya went on, "will be a loving environment for our child. And even when our marriage is dissolved, I am glad you will remain here to help nurture this child. An heir to leadership, such as this, must be raised in a place that builds strength and heart. This place…these grounds…will offer our child both of these. The emotions that guide the four of us in our efforts…will fuse inside our child…and he or she will be made strong…and just…"

He paused for a moment and lowered a hand to rest on her lower abdomen. He brought her hand there as well, and motioned for Renji and Risa to join them. The four stood quietly with their hands on Seijun and the breezes blowing softly in their hair. They looked up at Byakuya expectantly. The noble bowed his head slightly.

"Let us make a vow then…to dedicate our lives to the protection and nurturing of this small life…this promise to us of a future. Let us each pledge our energies to seeing that this little one grows up to be one who knows his or her own heart, follows his or her convictions and defends the important things…"

The four hands touched each other and their fingers locked together. Their heads bowed and each whispered in assent to the promise. Around them, the breeze grew strong, rippling their clothes and hair and whispering the tree branches around them. The four remained for a long time after, standing close on the edge of the cliff, locked together now in purpose, and hopeful.

**(A/N**Okay, I know there is still a pregnancy that hasn't been discovered! Byakuya will get the happy news and he and Seijun will have their babies in the sequel to this story…****The Oathbound: Leave Nothing Unsaid pt 2****. And yes…I am already working on it! Thanks so much for reading! Love Spunky)**


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